Fifty Shades Complete Part 4
by newgirl3366
Summary: This story starts in December 2013. Teddy is 18 months of age. Ana will become pregnant with Phoebe in this story. I hope for this to be a fun and enjoyable story for all. As always it is in keeping with the original story and characters. All rights go to E.L. James, I do not own Fifty Shades or any of the characters.
1. Chapter 1

_Fifty Shades Complete Part 4_

_I do not own Fifty Shades or any of these characters. _

_All rights go to E.L. James_

**_Prologue_**

**_October 2013_**

**_*~*Ana*~*_**

_My hands are shaking, trembling. Every limb on my body is shaking and my stomach is gnarled in knots. "Please, please, please, please," I whisper repeatedly. I want so badly to open my eyes. Or I want to keep them closed. My mind and heart are on a seesaw, teetering on two sides of a scale. Knowing the truth will either be good or heartbreaking. Not knowing will be the same. _

_Maybe I will just throw the stick in my hands away and live in bliss until one of the two inevitable events occurs. A tentative knock comes from the other side of the bathroom door. "Ana, baby," Christian calls to me softly from the other side. _

_I've been locked in the bathroom for I don't know how long. The steam from my shower dissipated long ago, long before I shut my eyes and stood in front of the bathroom vanity praying to God that mine and Christian's prayers will be answered. _

_ "__Ana, open the door." He tries again, this time the doorknob turns. The locked door doesn't give way. "Unlock the door at least, baby." His voice is kind and coaxing. _

_Knowing I cannot keep him at bay any longer I allow my eyelids to flutter open and look down. A single pink line stares back at me. My heart drops and tears promptly fill my eyes. I drop the pregnancy test in the sink like it is a vile poisonous object. Last month was the same, and the month before. I was so stupid to think it would come easily, as easily as it did when I became pregnant with Ted and when I became pregnant with the baby we lost. You are not stupid; my subconscious offers her shoulder to me, there was no reason to believe you would not become pregnant right away. Her words are valid and I know they are true. It doesn't make the disappointment I feel any less though. _

_I look at my already reddened eyes in the mirror and dash away the tears, which refuse to stop falling. I don't want Christian to see me like this, not again, but I cannot help it. Biting my trembling bottom lip between my teeth I open the bathroom._

_ "__Oh, Ana…" His strong arms enfold me. Giving no matter to the fact that my still damp hair wets his dress shirt he holds me tightly._

_ "__I thought for sure, Christian. I knew this was it." I sob out the words and fist my hands in the white linen fabric. _

_ "__Shhhhhh…Baby…Shhhhh…" He croons to me and lifts me in his arms, cradling me like a small child. _

_Christian carries me to our bed where he sits and holds me as long as I need to be held. He lets me cry out my sadness and frustration. I feel selfish for having the emotions I do. Remembering Grace who was never blessed with a biological child and endured loss too I know I am selfish. I have my beautiful baby boy whom I love and am thankful for every day. Somehow it does not hurt any less though and I reprimand myself for my reaction to the negative pregnancy test once more. _

_Slowly my sobs subside and I am left sniffling back the remaining tears. Christian produces a handkerchief from his pocket and I take it. I wipe my eyes and my nose, blowing it in a very unladylike fashion. _

_Christian's lips press to my forehead. "We'll have another baby, Ana. I know it in my heart. It only takes time. Dr. Greene…."_

_"__I know what she said, Christian." My words come out harsher than I intend for them to. He hangs his head and his body moves as he sighs deeply. He sees me hurting and is powerless to do anything to stop it. I should not make him feel any worse than he already does; one more thing to scold myself for. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."_

_"__I know you're hurting, baby."_

_"__There's still no excuse. You're hurting too and I'm sorry." I nuzzle my nose to his neck and kiss him there. His skin is soft and freshly shaven. He smells good and his scent comforts me the way it always does. _

_"__I'm going to take the day off work and spend it here with you and Ted."_

_I sniffle and raise my eyes up to meet his. "Nonsense, I need to go to work too and Ted has a day planned with Auntie Mia. This is not a reason to upset our plans for the day."_

_"__Are you sure?"_

_I give him a smile, "Positive." I hope I am able to convince him of my sureness. Even if I am not feeling one hundred percent certain about my decision I will not show him that. We will have our baby. That is the only thing I am one hundred percent sure about right now. I'm just not one hundred percent sure of when. _

**_November 2013_**

**_*~*Christian*~*_**

_Something is amiss. I blink my eyes open against the dawning sun. The first rays of morning shine through the window, shedding light on Ana's empty side of our bed. I reach my hand out to touch where she was and the sheets are still warm from her body. She has not been awake for long. I shed the covers, disentangling my legs from the mass of blanket and sheet. _

_ "__Fuck!" Ana's angry voice cries out from the other side of the closed bathroom door. I hear something smack the wall and am on my feet dashing to where I know she is. _

_The bathroom door swings open faster and with more force than I had intended. I anticipated it being locked, but it isn't. On the floor directly across from me is a pregnancy test. It is lying as if she has thrown it and my mind quickly reasons that this was the smack I heard, the test hitting the wall. My eyes swing to the other side of the room and I see her sitting there on the toilet. _

_Startled by the commotion of the door opening as I burst into the room she jumps. "Christian!" She calls out in an alarmed voice. I see her sweatpants resting on the floor around her ankles. She grasps her white panties up in her fist as though she is hiding something. "Please go, I need a moment." Her wide blue eyes beg me to leave. _

_I know I should give her the private moment she wants, but I cannot leave her. Her actions are already telling me the answer to the question playing through my mind. Still, I will not leave her. Not leaving her alone I give her space for a brief time. Keeping my eyes cast downward I go to where the unused pregnancy test lies and pick it up. Unused, she hadn't even taken it yet and she is already wretched with misery. I turn the white stick made of plastic over in my hands, looking at it, examining it, waiting for something or for nothing. I look at it knowing it holds no answers, a blank page, but it still tells me everything I need to know. The toilet flushes and I look up. Ana pads quietly to the sink and turns the tap on. I move to stand behind her, first discarding the test into the trash receptacle. _

_Ana's eyes look down at her hands, she holds them under the hot water and I know it must be near scalding because steam is rising from the sink. I turn the tap off and taking the hand towel from the rack I begin drying her hands with it. _

_"__I'm bleeding…my period is here." She says despondently. I already knew this was the case, but I let her go on and listen to her. "I thought this was the month, Christian. I don't know…I don't know what else to do. Why am I not getting pregnant?" _

_Her sad blue eyes turn to me and I want to kiss away the tears. A beast is ripping my heart to shreds with its talons and I haven't the strength to stop it. Seeing my Ana hurt paralyzes me. She wants another baby so much and I have not been able to give one to her. I have never felt like less of a man than I do right now in this very moment. "We could speak with Dr. Greene again." I suggest half-heartedly. _

_"__She said we have to try six months before she will even think of intervening. It's only been three months since I stopped taking the pill. Three months is a short time and I feel so stupid for my impatience." She looks back down at her now dry hands and twists her fingers together. _

_I cannot handle seeing her torn up anymore. I put my hands on her upper arms and turn her body so that she is facing me. "Ana, look at me." I guide her eyes to meet mine by cupping her chin with one of my hands. "This has to stop." Her eyes go wide at my words. I continue hurriedly seeing the shock beginning to take root in her mind. "This stress is taking over your life and it isn't good for you, so no more." I bend down and retrieve the remaining pregnancy tests from the cabinet. Without asking I throw them in the receptacle with the other unused test. _

_"__What are you doing?" She nearly shrieks._

_"__We are not keeping those in this house one second longer. This is controlling you and it is controlling us. No more. We will have our baby, Ana." I come back to her and lock her head with my hands. "We will." I tell her forcibly. "Not this way though. No more calendars or reminders. No more counting days or tests. This stress is not good for you." I repeat to her again. _

_"__So we just go back to doing what we always do?"_

_"__Mrs. Grey," I smirk at her. "We have been doing what we always do, having mind-blowing sex whenever we want. I am only removing the stressors. Is this okay?"_

_She breathes in a sigh and nods her head before wrapping her arms around me. She buries her face into my chest and I feel a few wet tears soak my skin. I hold her. Running my fingers through her messy hair I comfort her. We will have another baby; it will not be on our time though. The blessing will come when we least expect it. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for reviewing! I am so glad you all are loving the beginning of this story. I don't think this will be the last of the stories, I hope to write a part 5 as well. Enjoy this first chapter, hang on to your panties, it is going to be one hell of a ride!**

"Mr. Grey, I have Mrs. Grey here to see you." Andrea holds her phone against her ear, propping it in the crook of her neck with her shoulder, while pressing the button I know connects her with Christian's office. She nods, "Yes, sir." She sets the phone back in its cradle. "Mr. Grey is finishing with is morning conference call, he'll only be a few more minutes. May I get you some tea while you wait?" Her smile and words are so kind. I thank her for her offer, but refuse. I am having a hard time keeping my blushing to a minimum, knowing why I am here is most definitely offering extra color to my cheeks.

I take a seat in one of the chairs facing Andrea's desk and smooth out my knee length gray pencil skirt, it is one of my favorite skirts in my closet and I have paired it with a matching charcoal colored blouse and cropped black blazer. The most lascivious part of my ensemble is on my feet and legs. Stiletto heeled black leather boots; they hug my calves and thighs, stopping just short of the lace tops of my silk stockings. Certainly the boots shield my legs and feet from the colder winter winds, but that is not at all why I am wearing them. I purchased them on my lunch break earlier this week and have been hiding them in my office, waiting for the right time to show them to Christian. The right time has come today. I was finally able to steal some time away, not having any lunch engagements. The past two days have been crammed with end of the year numbers and sales and the day before that was the lunch shopping trip with Kate that led me to these boots.

Lifting my right leg slightly I stretch it out in front of me and point my toes, flexing my leg so that I admire just how sexy I really do look in the stark black leather. My less than shapely legs look phenomenal and I already feel my panties growing damp when I imagine wrapping them around Christian's waist while he pounds inside of me mercilessly. I sit up proudly and bite my bottom lip in anticipation. I am about to check another surface off of mine and Christian's list, his desk. Well, maybe two surfaces, there are three walls in his office, I am sure we can check one of those off today as well. After all, I do have over an hour for my lunch break.

The door to Christian's office opens and I drop my foot back to the floor. Sitting up straight I smile politely to the three older gentlemen leaving Christian's office. Two of them nod their heads and give me a smile back. One of them actually addresses me by name when he greets me. It takes me a second to place his face with his name, it has been over a year since I have seen him and even then the times we have made each other's acquaintances have been few and far between.

"Good day, Barney." I smile to him and wave. He returns my greeting, asking how I have been.

When our conversation is over he turns back to Christian. "I'll speak with the IT department about upgrading the firewalls on the servers we spoke about."

"Thank you, Barney. Please have the report on my desk no later than tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Mr. Grey." He nods in my direction. "Good day, Mrs. Grey."

Christian approaches me, eyes shining with a beguiling mischievousness. "Hi," He whispers seductively in my ear so that only I can hear him.

"Hi," I whisper back to him, self-conscious that we are not alone. Andrea is still busily working at her desk and a few people pass by. Christian pays them no heed, keeping his focus solely on me. Has he noticed the boots? How could he not, I am a good three inches taller than I usually am.

His gray gaze strokes me from head to toe, he's noticed. "New boots?" He murmurs. Taking my hand he turns to go back into his office. "Please take messages for any calls I may have Andrea. I will let you know when Mrs. Grey and I return from lunch."

Oh? We're going out? I was rather hoping we would be staying in. I follow Christian through the door and he locks it behind us. I guess we are staying in. My inner goddess is sitting on a red and white checkered table cloth with her legs spread wide. _We are lunch! _She claps her hands in delight.

"How was your morning?" Christian asks making small talk. Why the small talk? I only want one thing and the wicked cad, he knows it too.

I sit in one of the chair in front of his desk and do not cross my legs. "Good, busy. Yours?"

He takes a seat behind his desk, the Seattle skyline is his backdrop, and what a backdrop it is. King of his castle, he sits high above the city with the clouds, blue sky and bright winter sun to highlight his perfection. It does not go unnoticed by me when he moves his laptop and phone to the side of the desk, positioning them so that they are no longer directly in front of him.

"My day has been full of doldrums, stagnate, ho-hum, the same old, same old. That is until I opened my office door and saw you, a very pleasant surprise indeed." He steeples his hands in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on his desk and he presses his index fingers to his lips. I notice the subtle movement his eyes make as they run the length of my body again.

"I did not have any lunchtime meetings today, so I thought I would come and visit you." And do naughty things with you in your office. I finish the rest of my thought in my mind. The heat in Christian's gaze tells me that he finished my thought for me in his mind as well.

His ending must have been similar to mine because he unsettles his hands and rolls his chair back. "Come." He pats his knee. I stand and move around his desk. I bend my knees to sit, thinking that is what he wants. "On your knees." He points to the floor. Is this what he wants? All too happy to comply I kneel down in front of him. "Why are you here, Mrs. Grey?"

I want to tell him, because you told me we are going to have mind-blowing whenever we want and I want it now, I don't though. Together we are removing the stress of trying to have a baby so I am not going to even think about it. I wipe it from my train of thought and focus on what I have before me. My sexy as hell husband in black dress pants, a crisp white button down with the top two buttons undone and a black blazer. He looks edible, and lickable. Boldly I lift one hand and run it up his rock hard thigh, letting it travel to his groin where I run it over his already hardening length. Fuck.

"I came to fuck you, Mr. Grey." I answer him, holding his gaze the entire time.

I take his silence and the way he closes his eyes briefly as my green light and make quick work of unbuttoning and unzipping his slacks. Christian lifts his hips slightly and I slip his pants and boxers down to rest past his knees. I raise myself up and keeping my gaze locked on his I swirl my tongue around his silken tip. Maybe I would prefer for him to be lunch instead of me…My inner goddess has her mouth full, but is shaking her head 'no.' She wants to have lunch and be lunch too. Kind of like having your cake and eating it too, she wants the best of both worlds.

Christian knots his fingers in my hair and guides me down to take him in all the way until he hits the back of my throat. He guides me like this over and over again. Moving my mouth over him how he wants. "I love watching you wrap your lips around me, Mrs. Grey. I love fucking your mouth." He groans out, quiet enough so that he is not hear through the door, but loud enough to let me know how much pleasure I give him.

When I feel his body tensing with his impending orgasm he pulls me up by my shoulders. "On my desk." He helps me by lifting me with his arms around my waist. "These boots…" Christian runs his fingers from the tip of the stiletto up to my thighs, dragging my skirt up with it. He dips his head and circles his tongue around the lace of my stockings. "Where have you been hiding them?"

It takes my scattered brain a nanosecond to realize he is talking about the boots still. My mind is turning to mush with each graze of his tongue over my sensitive skin. "I bought them earlier this week when I went to lunch with Kate."

"I approve, Mrs. Grey. I most definitely approve." His skilled fingers pop the latches of my garters and I watch helplessly as my black lace panties slide down my legs and pass over the heels of my boots. Damn that is so hot. "Lean back."

I prop my hands behind me and lean my body to give him better access to where I want him. I want his mouth, his tongue, his fingers, I want all of him. Like he did to me I knot my fingers in his hair when he places his mouth at the apex of my thighs. A low groan of appreciating rumbles past his lips and I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning. This is going to be harder than I thought, keeping quiet. I throw my head back and focus on the bright lights above me.

My eye lids flutter close when I feel his tongue driving in, swirling around and pushing deeper. He pulls away. "I said lean back, hands on the desk, not in my hair. I want to taste all of you."

"Yes, sir." I comply and move my hands back behind me. Christian places his hands under my thighs and spreads me open to him further.

Using his tongue and his teeth he licks and bites me, never painfully. I only feel pleasure, and overwhelming amount of pleasure. As my orgasm builds I force my eyes open. I want to watch him. Nothing turns me on more than watching Christian pleasure me. His copper curls are all I see. He works me over, running his tongue over me and flicking it against my clitoris until I am out of my mind and ready to explode. When the first wave I pleasure hits me I jerk backwards, sending the black leather cup full of fountain pens flying off the desk. I hear them scattering over the polished floor. The sound is far off and I instantly forget about it when Christian plunges two fingers in me and makes a come-hither motion with them.

I have barely come back to the office desk when I realize he is standing before me. "Are you ready to be fucked now?" He breathes; his mouth is less than an inch from mine.

"Yes, please, now."

"I love it when you beg, Mrs. Grey." He grins salaciously and before another breath can escape from my body he pushes inside of me, giving me every inch of himself. I gasp at the fullness I feel and wrap my boots around his waist, digging the stilettos into his delectable derrière. My lunchtime fantasy is being fulfilled. Christian captures my lips with his and runs his tongue along mine. He tastes like me. With my hands still pressing firmly against the desk I give myself over to him. My mouth, my sex, every part of me is his.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I am so happy you enjoyed the first chapter and the prologue. ;) I kind of knew you would.

**I SINK MY TEETH **into the searing flesh of Christian's shoulder blade, trying to stifle the moan caused by another orgasm. With my back against the wall and legs wrapped firmly around his waist Christian pounds into me until he finds his own release, coming with me.

"Ana…Ana…Ana…come with me baby…My Ana." His voice whispering my name sounds like an incantation, like he is casting a spell over me with his magnetism. We are both magnets, drawn to each other by an attraction I will never fully understand. How one person could be so perfect for me and I am so perfect for him…It is something I will never fully grasp, how is it possible? I am only grateful to have truly found the man who was made for me, the other half of my heart.

We cling to each other. Him holding me up as my body sags flaccidly against him. If he were to set me down on my feet right now I don't think I could stand. I am sure my feet would fall right out from underneath me.

"I love you," Christian kisses my neck and I let my head loll to the side.

"I love you."

He presses more warm kisses to my neck and holds me until our breathing as evened out. "Do you think you can stand?"

"I think so." My legs are no longer trembling from the aftershocks of my orgasmic bliss.

Slowly I unwind my legs from around Christian's waist and allow my feet to find the floor. I teeter momentarily on my pointed heels, but right myself. "You never cease to amaze me." Christian takes my lips with his and toys with them, nipping my bottom lip and placing small tickling kisses to my nose and eyes. "And those boots, Mrs. Grey. Did I mention how much I like your boots?"

I giggle and smooth my skirt down. "I think you mentioned it a time or two."

He growls and wrenches his arms around my waist, forcing me back against his body. "I hate the idea of you putting your panties back on. I would much rather dine on you for the remainder of the afternoon."

As if to emphasize the point that our lunchtime tryst has drawn to an end a knock sounds on the door. Christian turns an agitated glare to the door. "I told Andrea to hold my messages."

I find my panties behind the desk where Christian discarded them and slip them over my naked bottom half while he buttons his shirt and tucks it into his pants. I want to pout at the sight of him recovering my favorite parts of his body. He fastens his belt and smirks at me, knowing I hate losing my floor show as much as he hates losing his.

There is another knock on the door. "Andrea," Christian presses the intercom on his desk phone. I take my mirror from my purse and do my best to straighten my just fucked hair. Combing my fingers through it I try my best to straighten it.

"Mr. Grey, I am so sorry for the interruption. I did try to stop him…" Poor Andrea sounds frazzled. "He was very insistent though."

"Christ…" Christian mutters to himself as he looks down at his still open laptop. I walk around to the side of the desk where he is standing. He has his calendar open. "I had forgotten about the meeting, Andrea. It isn't your fault. Give me five minutes, and please, tell my brother I said to fuck off."

"Mr. Grey, I can't…" She begins.

She is interrupted by the booming voice of the one and only Elliot Grey. "Christian, I know you are in there. The contractor we are meeting with will be here in less than five minutes." His voice comes from the other side of the door and I am sure my face goes from ghost white to rose red.

"I'll take care of it, Andrea, thank you." He moves his finger from the button and kisses my lips. "I'm sorry baby; I forgot I was meeting with Elliot and one of his architects. We are meeting about a new satellite office I am considering having constructed in New York."

"New York?"

"Yes, you know I go there from time to time."

"It isn't anything that will require a change for us, is it?"

Christian looks at me as if I have lost my mind. "No. Ana, I would never move us away from our family. It would only be a growth for the company. A more direct team of employees to manage the business I am already conducting there."

Inwardly I breathe a sigh of relief. Seattle is my home. It is where Christian's family is and is certainly closer to Ray and my mom than New York would be. I want my Teddy to grow up surrounded by his family, not thousands of miles away from them.

I give him a smile and return his kiss, "Good."

Christian opens the door for Elliot and his eyes light up knowingly when he sees me gathering my purse. "Ana," he begins to say something and then scrunches his nose up dramatically. "Damn bro!" He exclaims as Christian closes the door behind him. I am thankful he does too, Elliot's next words make me blush so bad I am sure I will still be red cheeked a week from now. "That was some lunchtime conjugal visit. It definitely smells like sex in here."

Elliot and Kate are expecting their first child in March, a girl. Even the prospect of becoming a father in a few months has not changed Elliot. He is still the same foul mouthed playboy with an exuberant amount of charm I first met the night I threw up all over the azaleas outside the club in Portland. The only difference is that he is a monogamous playboy, completely in love and dedicated to Kate.

"Elliot, would you mind keeping your foul mouthed thoughts to yourself around my wife?" Christian snarls at him, his voice is low and foreboding.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I didn't mean any disrespect…" For once Elliot actually sounds apologetic, that generally only happens when Grace steps in between him and Christian.

I go for good humor. Elliot is Elliot and there is no reason to get bent out of shape over his outspoken demeanor. It is part of who he is and it is never going to change. "No offense taken, Elliot. "

I smile at him and he straightens his stature, shooting Christian a smirk. "See bro? It's all good. Have a good rest of the day, Ana." He raises his hand in a wave.

"You too, Elliot." I shake my head laughing.

"Taylor and I will collect you from work at five, Ana." Christian takes my elbow to guide me from the room. I let him kiss my cheek chastely and bid him goodbye.

Walking past Andrea I keep my head down. I am sure she worked out for herself what we did on our lunch break, and if she didn't Elliot's booming announcement surely spelled it out for her.

**CHRISTIAN AND TAYLOR COLLECT **me from Grey's Publishing at five o'clock promptly. Briefcase and purse in tow I breeze through the door and out into the cold winter evening. Taylor opens the backdoor of the SUV for me.

"Good evening, ma'am." He greets me.

"Good evening, Taylor." I blush a little. He drove me to GEH for mine and Christian's lunch meeting. If he knows anything he never gives it away.

Christian is waiting for me in the backseat and reaches for my hand, a handsome smile gracing his beautiful face. "Hi," He kisses my knuckles.

"Hi."

"How was your afternoon?"

"Good, uneventful. Yours?"

"The same, it paled in comparison to my lunch hour."

"Ditto." My stomach flutters with a host of butterflies. His scratchy face tickles the back of my hand.

"Where are your boots?" He looks down at my feet. I am now wearing the soft black flats I left home in this morning.

"They are safely stowed away waiting for the next time I need them."

In a touch as light as a feather, Christian traces his fingertips up my thigh, inching my skirt up slightly. "I do hope that is soon, Mrs. Grey."

I flush feeling self-conscious because Taylor is in the car, although surely he has become accustomed to our practically inappropriate flirtations. A thought occurs to me, a question I have wanted to ask Christian since I left his office this afternoon. Biting my bottom lip I contemplate whether I should save my interrogation for once we are alone at home or find a delicate way to ask him now.

"Don't bite your lip." He releases my bottom lip from my teeth with his thumb and my insides quiver. Everything he has done to me today, the way he touches me, his voice, the way he looks at me, it has all turned me on. Even right now I could take him in my mouth again. I lick my lips thinking about it. "I wish I could read your mind right now."

"I think you have a good idea what my mind is thinking."

"I think you are right."

"Christian, what Elliot said in your office…the…ummm scent…what did he mean?" My cheeks heat.

Christian chuckles, "Surely you know, Anastasia." I know I look dumbfounded and I feel flat out silly. Christian stops laughing when he realizes I am asking a serious question. He leans close to my ear and I can feel his hot breath. "Your scent was on me all day, Anastasia and it drove me wild." He runs the tip of his tongue along the outer shell of me ear and I swear a whimper escapes my lips. "My entire office smelled like us being together for the rest of the day. It made it hard to concentrate, pun intended."

Oh! I turn my face away from him and put my hands to my cheeks, begging the color and embarrassment to disappear. Fortunately Christian changes the subject to something less risqué.

"I have a surprise for you." He reaches to the floor of the SUV where his briefcase is resting. I find that odd considering he usually stows it in the trunk. He takes out a plain white envelope and holds it out to me.

I turn it over and open it, all the while wondering what it could be. Christmas is still three weeks away. My mind is busy running away with thoughts when I pull out an itinerary, complete with photographs of a house named Casa Olita. I glance over it, my eyes needing to read each word twice. "Belize?" I whisper. "You want to take me to Belize?"

"A small getaway before the busy holiday rush of family gets to us. What do you think?"

"When would we go?"

"Next week."

"What about Ted?" We have not been away from him since we went to California just before his first birthday, that was six months ago. I would miss him more than words can express.

"We could take him with us, if you would like?" Christian suggests.

Take him? Leave next week? My head is spinning and my heart is screaming, go to Belize! I never dreamed I would travel as much as I have with Christian. Paris, England, Bora Bora, New York, Colorado, Mr. Grey is always up for mixing life up a bit. I don't want to dash his hopes. I am thrilled at the prospect of spending some time, just the two of us, in Belize nonetheless, a pure, unadulterated tropical paradise. My inner goddess is frantically throwing clothes from her bureau is search of her bikini. Even my subconscious is shouting for me to go, she has her sunscreen in hand.

As if he can read my thoughts Christian places his hand on top of mine where I am holding the paper and envelope. "We don't have to decide anything today. We can just go home and spend the evening with our son. This can wait, it was only an idea."

"A lovely idea, Christian." I say not wanting him to think I am ungrateful.

He beams at me and touches my face tenderly. Until this moment I have been oblivious to the fact that we are on the interstate and nearly home. "So we can consider it?"

"We can." I nod at him. My insides turn to mush, I want to go so badly.


	4. Chapter 4

***I had a reviewer write to me about a terrible habit I have, yes, I know I's is not a word. I am not offended at all. In fact, it is a habit I have been trying to break. I have a hard time distinguishing when to say, Christian and I or Christian and me or me and Christian. I am from the south and sometimes we don't speak proper English ;) I am not an uneducated person by any means, but often times the linguistics around me stick. Thank you to the reader for pointing it out, I did go back and correct it. I tried to PM her, but was unable to as she had not chosen to accept PM's.

Thank you all for your thoughtful reviews. I read each and every one of them. I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Taylor drives slowly down the tree lined drive to the big house. Nightfall is coming quicker every day, an indication of the lengthy winter ahead. Warm in the backseat with Christian I stroke my thumb over his knuckles. Our hands are joined together and rest on the empty space between us. The shadows of the bare trees fall over the car and I think of how Belize would be a welcome respite from the short, cold and often rainy Seattle days. The house comes into view and I am already able to feel the genial affection radiating from it. Soft light glows from the windows. Ted is busy playing somewhere inside and the smell of whatever deliciousness Mrs. Taylor and Ms. Windham have cooked up is permeating the house. I close my eyes picturing _home_ in my mind's eye.

"Happy to be home?" Christian squeezes my hand.

"Yes."

"Me too."

The SUV turns to coast smoothly up the circular drive, coming to stop at the front of the house. I notice an unfamiliar vehicle parked in front of ours. "I wonder who…" I begin to question aloud when the sound of Taylor's phone rings from up front. He answers it promptly and I listen in to his conversation, wondering if it has something to do with the unexpected guests at our home. Nothing seems awry. I do not feel anxious, just curious.

"We are in front of the house; I have Mr. and Mrs. Grey with me. Very well, I will inform them." He ends the phone call and shifts to turn and face the backseat.

"Mrs. Grey, your mother arrived a few minutes ago."

My mother? I look to Christian and his face is just as baffled as mine. I was not expecting my mother. In fact, I have not heard much from her since June when she came for a late first birthday celebration with Ted. Bob's little week stint in France turned into a longer stay with his company asking him to work a six month temporary position there. Mom flew back to visit with us and has called every so often, we even Skyped a few times so she and Ted could see each other. Her being here is a shock to say the least. I replay Taylor's words to myself, _your mother arrived_, am I to infer that she is alone? Where is Bob?

"Thank you, Taylor." I make my voice work, still reeling from surprise. My thoughts immediately turn dismal. It is unlike my mother to just show up without any prior warning. I hope everything is okay. _Unlike her?_ My subconscious queries me and rolls her eyes.

Inside the house I hear Ted's exuberant laughter ringing from somewhere. Christian closes the door behind us.

"Mama! Dada!" Ted's voice squeals and in the blink of an eye he comes tearing into the foyer from the direction of the great room. The sound of the door closing no doubt alerted him of our presence. I bend to scoop him up and smother him in as many kisses as he will tolerate before passing him to Christian. "Dada, tee, big tee!" Christian and I exchange skeptical glances, not quite understanding the message our little boy is trying to convey to us. "Big tee, ites, tum, tum." He wriggles down and taking Christian's hand in his he pulls him to the great room, telling him to 'tum, tum,' or come, come, the entire time.

A Grand Fir tree, identical to the one we had last Christmas, stands in the corner of the great room. Framed on one side by the windows and on the other by the fireplace where a roaring fire cracks and pops, even bare of ornaments and lights it is magical.

"Welcome home, Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey," Gail says from behind us. I turn to see her while Christian allows Ted to drag him to the towering evergreen.

"Thank you, Gail."

"Dinner is ready. I do hope you like the tree."

I breathe in the clean outdoor scent it gives off. "It is perfect, Gail. When was it delivered?"

"Earlier this afternoon, Teddy has been ecstatic about it since he awoke from his nap. He keeps telling me to put lights on it. How he remembers we put lights on a tree I'm not sure. He is a smart little guy."

I listen to the conversation going on by the tree. Ted is coercing his daddy into putting 'ites' on the tree. I giggle, "He most definitely is."

"Your mother arrived a few minutes ago, I wasn't sure…"

I smile kindly at Gail, she appears to be uncertain and I know she is thinking she forgot about my mother coming. "I had no idea she was coming, Gail." Her expression relaxes, relieved. "It is a surprise visit. Would you prepare one of the guest rooms for her after dinner?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you."

Gail leaves to go back to the kitchen, "Gail," I call her back. "Is she alone? My mother, I mean. Did she arrive by herself?"

"She did, Mrs. Grey."

"Oh, thank you." I tug at my bottom lip with my teeth in contemplation. Out of the corner of my eye I see Christian place Ted back on his own two feet, his gaze now concentrating on me. "That will be all, Gail."

"Very well, dinner will be served in half an hour."

I give her a slight nod of acknowledgement. A door opens and closes somewhere nearby, I think from the powder room near the entry hall. Ted is busy playing with his helicopter. He has climbed inside and is driving it around the room, propelling the toy with his sock covered feet.

"Is everything okay?" Christian rubs his hand at the small of my back.

I shake my head, "I'm not sure. Mom is here, but she is alone." Mom walks in the room before I am able to finish speaking with Christian.

"Ana, darling," she greets me. She is all smiles and holds her arms out for a hug. I go to her and allow her to enfold me in her embrace, returning her affections.

"Mom, it's so good to see you." I tell her and it is I have missed her.

Ted all but jumps out of his helicopter when he sees her. He runs over and wraps his arms around both of her legs, hugging her at her knees. "Grammy missed you too, sweet baby boy." Mom releases me and picks him up.

He smiles and reaches out for me. "Mama, tee!"

I prop him on my hip and he points his chubby index finger in the direction of the unembellished tree. "Yes, baby boy. I see the big tree. Do you like the big green Christmas tree, Teddy?"

"Yes!" I laugh and kiss his cheeks, loving his jubilant response.

"I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here. I just dropped in for a surprise visit." Mom speaks up and Christian and I both direct our focus on her. She continues speaking in a nervous titter. "Well, Paris just became too much. At first I loved the romantic bustle of things, but one can only take so many months of that sort of thing. I wanted to come home and see my daughter and grandson. So, here I am." She shrugs her shoulders.

"And Bob is still in Paris?"

Mom begins pacing between the sofa and coffee table. She walks the length of the sofa before turning and coming back. She follows the same trek several times before she stops. She looks down at her hands and twists her fingers together. "He is, you see…well…I've left him. He wanted to stay there. The company offered him a permanent position there and I refused to stay. Moving to Europe was never part of the deal, I was happy to move to Las Vegas, but not Europe." The more she speaks the more uncomfortable the situation becomes.

My throat constricts and I swallow back the lump forming there. Goodbye husband number four. I like Bob, he is a good man and a good step grandfather to Ted. I'll miss him. How can my mother be so blasé about the whole thing, doesn't she miss him? There has to be more to the story than she is disclosing to me. While I know it really is none of my business, I make a vow to delve deeper. I don't want to see another one of my mother's marriages go down the drain. I want her to be happy. I had hoped that Bob was the one. They seemed to be getting along so well. Mentally I count on my fingers, one, two, three, four, five…they have been married for five years. Bob has always seemed to have a grasp on how to handle my mother and her cockamamie tendencies. What in the world could have gone wrong?

Dinner is served in the dining room. It is unusually formal for a weeknight. I suppose Gail wanted to make things special due to my mother's impromptu visit.

Christian places his fork and knife on the edge of his plate with his half eaten vegetable lasagna. He picks up his glass of wine and circles the glass, swirling the burgundy liquid before drinking it. His pensive actions speak for themselves. He is pondering the same matter I am, what happened between my mother and her husband.

"What time did your flight from Las Vegas arrive, Carla?" His question seems innocent enough, but I know better. He is seeking information that might give us further details.

Mom finishes chewing her food and swallows, dabbing the corners of her mouth with her napkin before answering. "Actually, I arrived at SeaTac straight from Paris. Well, not Paris exactly. I flew from Paris to Heathrow. I tried to get a direct flight, but was unable to, so I had to settle for a connecting flight in London with a two hour layover." Her explanation is the same as everything she has shared with us since we first arrived home this afternoon. She is beating around the bush, being indirect and withholding something from us. I feel bad for her and begin to chide myself for my interrogative attitude. Whatever has happened between my mom and Bob must be painful.

I catch Christian's eye and try for a sympathetic gaze, shifting my eyes briefly in my mom's direction. I hope he gets the hint of what I am trying to convey. Go easy on her. Perhaps she will open up to me as time passes. Her emotions must be incredibly raw right now.

After finishing her last bite of lasagna I watch in awe as my mother drains her entire glass of wine. I close my mouth, knowing that it is gaping open and I resemble a guppy fish.

"I hope you'll both excuse me, but I am rather tired and would like to retire for the evening."

I stand from my chair. "I'll show you to your room, Mom."

"Thank you, dear." She smiles and blows a kiss across the table to Ted who has been watching the entire dinner charade with disinterest. He is preoccupied with his noodles and cheese. "Grammy loves you, Ted. I will see you in the morning." Ted reciprocates her kiss by blowing a lasagna laden one of his own.

He holds his messy fingers out to Christian. "Dada, nack?" I cannot help laughing. He wants Christian to lick the remnants of dinner from his hand.

"No thank you, son, Daddy is full from his dinner. Are you finished?"

"Yes, yes." Teddy nods his head earnestly.

"I will ask Gail to bring a towel so you can take off a layer of sauce before carrying him upstairs to have his bath." Leaning down I kiss the top of Ted's copper curled head. "I will be in to help you bathe him, Daddy." Next I touch my lips softly to Christian's.

"Okay, Mommy." He whispers and brushes his lips to mine once more.

Ms. Windham has already placed my mother's luggage in the guest room she will be staying in. How long is she planning on staying, I muse to myself. Will Christian and I still be able to go to Belize? At the moment the idea of going is sounding better and better. I will call Grace tomorrow, I am sure she and Carrick will be thrilled to have Ted stay with them. I want to be selfish and have my husband all to myself…on a pristine white beach…a private beach…in a beautiful private home…with a large white bed…curtains floating on a warm breeze…I feel my body flush with excitement. Yes, I want to go.

Mom looks through the bureau and armoire. "Ms. Windham, is that her name?"

"Yes."

"She has put everything away for me, how kind of her." She closes the armoire doors, keeping her back to me she stands still, staring at the wood panels in front of her.

"She is a sweet woman, a nice addition to our home. She and Gail work well together. Is there anything else I can get for you, Mom?"

When she turns there are pools of tears in her clear blue eyes. "Do you have anything for a broken heart?"

"Mom," I whisper and walk to embrace her.

"I never thought he would choose staying in Europe over me. I thought I was his world, apparently I was mistaken, seriously mistaken. How idiotic can I be?"

There must be something she is not telling me. True, I do not know Bob the way my mom does, but he never struck me as anything other than a kind and caring man. In his eyes the sun rose and set around my mother. How does a love like that falter overnight? My heart clenches, could something this drastic happen to Christian and I someday?

Not knowing what to say to her I rub circles on her back with my hands in an attempt to comfort her. It must work because her tears subside. She pulls back from our embrace. "Maybe you two just need some time apart. Taking a break from each other must be healthy every now and then."

She sniffles and half laughs. "When did my daughter become so wise and start giving advice to me?"

I shrug, "I'm only returning the favor I guess. You gave me good advice about Christian when I first met him." I take her hands in mine between us. "Don't give up on him, Mom. I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I do know that Bob loved you once and he may still love you."

"I will keep that in mind. Now, I'm ready for bed and you have a baby boy to bathe. I will see you in the morning."

"Good night, Mom."

"Night, Ana." She kisses my cheek and I leave her room feeling a little better about whatever is going on with her than I did when I went in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it took me a few days to post. This has been the last week of school for us and it has been hectic.**

**A BABY BOY BATHED **in a bubble filled tub is waiting for me when I enter the bathroom. Kneeled on the floor beside the bathtub, Christian shields Ted's eyes with one hand while pouring clean water over his head. Teddy, pursing his lips, blows the water away from his face.

"Tack, Tack," He swims his favorite yellow duck around making it talk. He wants so patiently for Christian to finish rinsing his hair. "Mama!" Ted points upon seeing me.

"He caught you this time, Mommy. You were watching us again." Christian says keeping his attentions focused on the delicate task at hand. He is beyond cautious, always careful to not allow any soap in Ted's eyes. I have assured him the soap is safe for babies and that Ted will not be hurt, still he is meticulous in his method.

"I only watched for a short time before Teddy gave me away." Reaching my fingers out I tickled Ted's wet tummy.

He giggles and dips his ducks head down, allowing the toy to have a pretend drink of bathwater. "Tack, tack, yummy." With a shampoo free head he lays on his tummy and proceeds to swim his duck around, putting him on a sailboat. The duck, with Ted as his guide, sails the boat through the foamy water.

Christian wrings out Ted's blue washcloth and hangs it on its hook. "How is your mother?"

I move a red ring, an obstacle in captain duck's path. I play with the ring, turning it in my fingers, while watching Ted play. Christian watches me, giving me time to collect my thoughts and speak. "She's okay, I think. I'm not sure what happened."

"Do you think there is another woman?" He asks, voicing a possibility I have already mused.

"Honestly…" I sigh and place the ring in the toy pail on the floor. "I'm not sure." I realize I have just told him 'I'm not sure' twice, truth is I'm not. Mom has not given me much to go on and truthfully that is her prerogative to take. As her daughter is not my business to know hers. My heart cannot help but ache for her. Her she is with her life in turmoil and her marriage on the rocks, while Ray is happily married with Lynn expecting a baby any day now. I must remember to call him. Being present for the birth of my first and likely only sibling, is important to me. If I take the trip to Belize I could miss it. The idea of missing the birth is depressing. How can I find a balance between being there for my dad and spending time with Christian?

"Ana, earth to Ana." Christian waves a hand in front of my face. I blink my eyes. "You left me for a minute. Where were you?"

"If we go to Belize we could miss the baby being born."

His face falls. He wants to take me away on a getaway for just the two of us badly. I did not see until this moment how much he wants it. These months after the miscarriage, trying to have a baby and it not happening, they have been sorrowful for both of us. We expected to become pregnant right away once we were ready because it happened so easily the other two times. Christian puts his hand on mine where it rests on the edge of the bathtub. "There is no rush, Ana. Belize can wait. It will still be there after the baby is born."

I smile sadly. "I do want to go."

"I know, baby. Being there for your dad is important though, much more important than a trip."

"You are important, Christian."

"Belize and I will be here forever. Your brother or sister will only be born once."

Leaning over, with my feet still tucked underneath me, I kiss his lips. "And that is why I love you, Mr. Grey. Ted and I are always first with you."

"And you always will be." His lips move against mine with his promise.

Teddy sits up and splashes his duck against the surface of the water. Wetting Christian's shirt and my blouse, "Mama, Dada, done." He declares and pulls himself up on the edge of the tub.

"Oh, no you don't young man. Mommy and Daddy will help you out of the bath. No falling." I half scold him.

Christian wraps him in a soft fluffy towel. "Dada wuv." Ted leans his sopping wet curled head on his daddy's shoulder and pats his back with his little hand.

"I love you too, Ted." Christian returns his endearment. He snuggles Ted and rubs his back. "Shall we go dress him for bed, Mommy?" He offers his hand to me and I take it, allowing him to pull me up from the tile floor. As he pulls me by my hand he tugs my heartstrings too.

**"****CHRISTIAN?" THE SOFT WHISPER **of my voice is a cessation in the tranquility of our dark and muted bedroom. Christian's arms and legs are wrapped around me. He tightens them like some sort of liana, climbing higher around its support. In response I brush my fingers over his bare arms.

He kisses the crown of my head. "What is it, baby?"

"Do you think that could be us someday?"

"That what could be us?" Another kiss is pressed to me by his lips, this time at the back of my head amongst my tousled locks.

"My mom and Bob," I answer tentatively. "Do you think that whatever has happened to them could happen to us?"

His limbs pull me closer. He constricts his muscles until I am compressed against him as securely as I can be. When he speaks his mouth is at my ear, his hot breath brushing over my skin. "I told you once, Anastasia. I would move heaven and earth to avoid feeling what I felt during that week without you. I have never known that sort of pain before and I never want to again. You are my life. That will never change. My vows are solid, Anastasia, unmoving, as am I."

"Mine too. " I fall silent. "I'm not my mother." I say when I speak again. "I love her, but I am not her." Not saying anything else I let my mind wander, doing my speaking for me. Only it is in my head and not aloud.

"I don't think you're mother meant to be married four times." Christian's words are a revelation to me. Before he completes what he is going to say I already know the jest of it. He reads my mind so well. "I believe she had a true love, your father. She has just spent the rest of her life looking for what she felt with him."

A tear falls down my cheek, for what I'm not sure. It could be for my mother and for Bob. For all of the pain they are both going through right now. This between them is not a one-sided thing that is for sure. Christian asked me if I thought there was another woman, but no, I don't. Bob must be hurting too. Only, we are not seeing that side of this rift. Or the tear could be me, grieving for the biological father I never knew. I love Ray and I never want to diminish the bond between us, but I cannot help to wonder what kind of dad my biological father would have been. I know there is no use in wondering. That page in history has already been written.

"I think so too. My heart hurts for her."

Christian turns me to face him. "You are allowed to hurt for her, she is your mother, but you are not allowed to take her burdens on, Anastasia. You do that. You are a nurturer and I love that about you. At the same time this is her life, she is an adult and she will work this out with her husband." His voice is stern, letting me know there is no room for argument.

No more stress, he does not want any added stress on me and I understand why. The idea of losing Bob is not something I want to conceive. I cast my face down, my chin pointing to my chest. "And if she doesn't?" My bottom lip trembles slightly. I shut my eyes as if I can block out the possibility.

"Then that is how it is meant to be." The last words sting a little. I do not want my mother to be sad or without someone. Christian guides my face up, placing two fingers under my chin. Sweet kisses are placed on each of my eyes, my cheeks and my nose. "Your lips are so soft to kiss when you cry." He whispers. His tongue caresses my lips, tracing them to take away my salty tears. His mouth works its way down my neck and back up to my lips again. "Let me ease your tension, baby. Let go, give yourself to me." In between kisses he begs me to submit and I do, willingly. Like clay I allow Christian to mold my body. Arching and bowing it to meet his desires, ultimately meeting mine.

An unknown occurrence stirs me from sleep. I startle in the darkness. Opening my eyes in the dark of night a wash of disconcertion comes over me. What awoke me? The sound comes again, a low buzzing noise from my bedside table. My cell phone irradiates a point of glowing white light. My hands fumble to turn down the sheets while I simultaneously attempt to disentangle myself from Christian.

"Hello?" I croak out groggily, still blinking from the intrusion of the luminous phone screen. Colored dots dance in my line of vision.

"Annie," Ray's voice meets my ear and I am instantly snapped awake. I sit up in bed anxiously knowing what this late night call means. "Annie, we're at the hospital. The baby is coming." He sounds nervous and ecstatic at the same time. My insides jump with identical feelings.

Christian feels me move and sits up with me. Awake right away he grasps my hand. In the darkness I nod my head, answering his unspoken question, my baby brother or sister is coming. I don't know if he can even see me in the dark. If he can he can see that I am smiling like a fool.

"We're on our way, Dad."

"No, no, Annie. There's no need to wake my little partner up at this hour. It could be morning before the baby is here. You leave when day has broken and not a minute sooner. Do you hear me?" Oh, Ray worried about me and my safety when all I want to do is be there for him. "Lynn is doing well. I only wanted to call and tell you were are here." He gives me her room number and reassures me three times, telling me everything will be okay. I think he's doing more of the reassuring for himself rather than for me.

"Christian, Ted and I will leave in the morning, Daddy. I love you and give Lynn my love too."

"Will do, Annie, I've got to go now. See you soon."

I hang up the phone, too excited and giddy to think about sleeping. In just a few short hours I will be a big sister. I know the expression is juvenile at my age, but I cannot help my exuberance.

"The baby is coming." I turn to Christian, my smile still stretching from ear to ear.

The sound of his voice tells me he knows that, even if my face is not fully visible in the dark. "I gathered as much." He is smiling too, I know it. "And everyone is doing well?"

"They are. Oh, Christian I am just so happy." I allow him to pull me to his lap. He wraps the blankets around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. Tracing my fingers over his chest I brush them through his smattering of chest hair.

"And you call me mercurial, Mrs. Grey. What a turn around this mood is from the one you went to bed with." I can hear the low chuckle in his chest.

I playfully smack his chest. "You are mercurial, Mr. Grey, often. It's high time I had a try at it as well."

He kisses the top of my head. "If you are planning to go see your new sibling we should sleep."

"I'm too excited to sleep." I nearly whine. I want to jump in the car and go right now. _What about your mother? _My subconscious stirs from her slumber to remind me. Shit. What about her? My good mood is quickly doused when I remember my mother's unexpected arrival and the sadness she brought with her. I can't leave my mom when she is having trouble with Bob, but I must go to Ray. They both need me.

Christian senses the slump in my posture. "You're overthinking things." He whispers knowingly.

"What do I do, Christian? Mom's here and she needs me, but the baby is being born and I want to be with Ray too."

"Forgive me, Ana, but Carla needs to take care of her marriage. You have been here for her and I you will continue to be, but going to see your sibling be born into the world takes precedence."

I kiss one of his pectorals. "Good advice, Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, Mrs. Grey."

I kiss a trail across his chest and lightly run my tongue over his nipple. "I really am too excited to sleep." I wriggle my bottom on his lap.

"May I offer you a sleeping potion?" His wicked with mischievousness.

"You most certainly may." I giggle and in one swift movement I am under him, the mattress at my back.

"I suggest one dose every night before bed, two if necessary." He parts my legs with his knee, brushing his erection against my sex.

"Hmmmm…" I tap my finger to my chin as if in contemplation. "Well, I've already had one dose and it didn't seem to work for the entire night. I think another one is in order."

"As you wish, Mrs. Grey, after all, we aim to please." He pushes into my waiting body and I wrap my legs around his waist, crossing my ankles over his finely sculpted behind. I push him further inside of me and rake my fingernails up his back. Moaning and appreciating his intrusion. An extra dose is most definitely what I need.


	6. Chapter 6

A few things...I had a reader write and ask if I could write a short story about Ted's first days home from the hospital. Being that May is Ted's birth month and he would be two year's old this month I am going to do it as a little celebration for our favorite baby boy. I am working on it and will have it up before the end of the month, it will be from Christian's POV. I hope you all enjoy that little treat. I will post it as a separate story.

I had a reader ask when Ted will say 'mommy' or 'daddy.' I work with 18month-36month old children daily and usually that does not happen until closer to the age of 2. In this story Teddy is 18months old, so I'm going to stick with him saying Mama and Dada for now. I think it is more age appropriate.

Well, that's about it. Enjoy the new chapter!

****Oh and...about the sex of Ray and Lynn's baby...I'm going to leave that up to you guys. So, respond to this chapter with a review and let me know what you want, a boy or a girl. I will tally up the votes and when I write the part the winning votes will decide whether it is a boy or a girl.**

**MY FEET ARE ON **the floor when the first rays ofdawn wash over the sound. Daubing our room in tinges of pink and orange the morning sun gives life to a new day. New life will be born today in the form of a precious baby or sister. My arms already itch to hold the bundle of sweet joy that is not even here yet. In the bathroom I quickly shower and dress, choosing jeans and t shirt, which I will pair with a sweatshirt just before we leave. I prop one of my socked foots on my vanity chair to tie my converse. What is happening in Montesano is forefront in my mind. I know firsthand how hard Lynn is working to bring her new baby into this world. Memories of Ted's birth come to me and I smile wider. He was worth every ounce of the pain I experienced. It all dissipated the moment I saw his mush covered face as Christian held him in his arms.

I am tying my second shoe when the bathroom door opens. "Were you going to wait for Ted and me?" Christian yawns, his eyes shining with the knowledge that I cannot wait to be in the car and on our way.

Finished tying my laces I place my foot on the bathroom floor and pad over to him. I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek. "Of course I was. I wanted to dress so I could get an early start." My hands journey south from where they are propped on his chest. I explore his mouthwateringly naked form.

"If you keep that up we will never leave." He growls. I give him innocent eyes and he smacks my bottom. "Go, email Claire and wake our son. I will be down soon."

I call Ray before leaving the bedroom. Lynn is resting comfortably. Her contractions are progressing, but the doctor still believes it will be several hours before the baby is born. I breathe a sigh of relief. I may arrive shortly after the baby comes, but I won't be too late. My next task is contacting work. In my study I sit down long enough to tap out a quick email to Claire. I let her know I will not be in today and to please speak with Hannah about altering my schedule accordingly. Being that it is Friday I don't mention anything else. More than likely we will be spending our weekend in Montesano and if things go well we will leave sometime next week for Belize. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by a stellar and capable team. Grey's Publishing always runs smoothly in my absence. I could not ask for better staff.

Ted is stirring in his crib, the morning sun rays streaming through his window rousing him. "Good morning, Teddy bear." I smile at him and he turns his face to grin at me through the slats. I wiggle my fingers in front of me, letting him know I am going to pick him up.

"Mama wuv," his baby voice croaks out, still heavy with sleep.

"I love you too, baby boy." I hug him to me and he wriggles down. "Dada?" The word comes out in the form of a question rather than a statement. He holds his little hands out and shrugs his shoulders in query.

"Daddy is in the shower. May I help you change out of your pajamas?" He nods his head in confirmation and begins fiddling with the waist band of his pajama bottoms. Bending down I help him to pull them off and he sprints to his laundry basket where he promptly deposits them before trying his best to rid himself of his diaper. He is adamantly determined to be independent. Often times I have to coax him into letting me help him. "Do you need help?" His little brow is furrowed in concentration as he pulls at the tab.

"Do." He says, letting me know he wants to do it all by himself. I lower myself to rest on the hardwood floor. Sitting on my knees I wait patiently until he comes over to ask for my help with the second tab. I lift his shirt over his head and he toddles over to the trash and laundry basket, depositing both items in the appropriate receptacles.

"Would you like a quick bath?"

Ted nods again and I scoop my naked baby up in my arms, grabbing his clothes for the day before I leave the room. I must remember to ask Gail to pack our suitcases for us in case we do stay for a few days.

"What are you doing up so early?" Having not heard any doors open or close while I was bathing and dressing Ted I am surprised to find my mom sitting at the breakfast bar nursing a cup of coffee. The kitchen is still dark with the exception of the now brighter morning light. The clock on the wall gives the only sound. Its steady ticking fills the silence.

She swivels the stool slightly to the side to see me. "Hmmm? Oh," She waves her hand dismissively. "I haven't really been to bed yet I suppose. I did lay down, but sleep was an elusive bitch last night."

My eyes go wide at her use of language. My mom has never been one to demonstrate anything other than ladylike etiquette. _A girl will only catch a husband if she exhibits a certain level of decorum. _One of my mother's many euphemisms I heard throughout my teen years. A lot of good they did me. I had two boyfriends, if you could really call them that, until Christian. I suppose she does know something of landing husbands though. _Now if she could learn how to keep them. _My snarky subconscious gives her best early morning sarcasm. She is not a morning person and it shows. I tell her to go find her first cup of coffee and make herself known again only after she has finished the entire cup.

Mom catches my shock at her language and apologizes. "I'm sorry, Ana. I should not have spoken that way in your home. It was inappropriate."

I smile softly and move to where she is sitting. I sit on the stool beside her and rub her arm. "I know Mom. There's no need to apologize, it is just very unlike you to speak that way."

"Still, I am sorry." She stares down into her cup of black coffee, waiting maybe for it to provide some sort of aid to her heartbreak. She sniffles and I realize she has been crying.

"Mom," I speak again, wanting to comfort her.

"So," She says changing the subject. "What are you doing up so early? I didn't think you had to be at work this early. Do you have a meeting?" She sips her coffee.

I look down at my fingers, moving my other hand from her arm I begin knotting my fingers in my lap. "No. Actually…Christian, Ted and I are on our way to Montesano."

"Oh? I didn't know you had a trip planned to go see Ray. You never mentioned it last night."

"We didn't. Ray called in the middle of the night." I hesitate. I wish this all wasn't happening at the same time, mom and Bob fighting, Ray and Lynn's baby coming, what a tumultuous combination. "Lynn is having the baby."

She smiles, and even though the smile is one of genuine happiness I can still see the pain behind it. "That is wonderful." The words are forced past her lips. "Please, give them my best."

"I will." She looks back down at her cup and sighs before standing. "I better go pack my things then. I assume you will want to stay the weekend with Ray."

"Mom, stop." I touch her arm and she halts her first step. "You stay here. I will be back on Sunday at the latest. Christian has a meeting in Portland on Monday he cannot miss, so I know we'll be back. Taylor and Gail will be here and they will get you anything you need. I don't want you to leave. You just got here." Her eyes, the same blue as mine, search my face. "I mean it, Mom, please."

Her smile reappears, it is still sad, but I'll take a sad smile over no smile. "I don't want to be an imposition."

"You are my mother, you are not an imposition." I insist and she squeezes my hand.

"Okay. I'll stay."

"Good, I will tell Gail. I'm sure you could call Grace and she would love to have lunch or go shopping with you." I realize I am volunteering Grace for something she has no idea about, but I know she will not mind. Christian's mother has the kindest heart of anyone I know.

"I will do that, thank you Ana."

In less than an hour Gail has whipped up a quick breakfast for us and our bags are packed in the trunk of the SUV. It will be strange travelling without Taylor or any of the security team. It will be strange in a good way though. Liberating and normal are the first words that come to mind. I catch Christian speaking to my mom out of the corner of my eye as I fasten Ted in her car seat. They are standing on the steps near the front door. I hand Ted his pacifier and kiss his cheek. "In less than two hours we will be at Gramps house." He claps his hands and smiles around the pacifier, which is already secured in his mouth. He will be asleep before we are on the interstate. Driving in the car always lulls him right into dreamland.

I shut the back door and catch the tail end of what Christian is saying. "Carla, please make yourself at home. The staff will help you with anything you need."

"Thank you Christian, for your hospitality." She retorts and he gives her a brilliant smile.

"Anytime, Carla." God I love this man. He makes my family feel so welcome, they are his family now as well. Then again, he always has had my mother wrapped around his little finger. His charms started working on her right away in Georgia and they have never stopped. I am convinced that she would have married him if he were her age and not married to me. _It's the being married to you thing_, my subconscious interjects. _His age did nothing to deter her. _I giggle to myself. My subconscious is more than likely right. Husband number three was a good deal younger than my mother. How was it that they met again?

I rack my brain for the few seconds before Christian comes to open my door for me, trying to remember. Was she still married to Ray when she met number three? I was only a teenager and cannot remember the details right off the top of my head and even if I could she could have known number three before I knew about it. Did she cheat on Ray? Could she be cheating on Bob? I squash the two questions and the vile thought immediately. My mother is many things, but she is not a cheater. I could never believe that about her.

"Have a good time darling!" My mother calls out and waves her hand animatedly. "Call me and let me know you have arrived safely and give them my best."

"I will, Mom." I wave back and climb in the passenger seat of the SUV as Christian opens the door for me. In the vehicle I quickly tap out a text message, telling Ray we are on our way.

"Ready to go meet your brother or sister?" Christian turns the key in the ignition, starting the engine.

"Nervous and ready."

He gives me his all American boy smile. "Let's go then." He shifts the SUV into drive and pulls out of the circular driveway. I look behind me and see Ted waving his little hand. He can see his Grammy waving to him through the back windshield. I know she cannot see him so I make a mental note to tell her that he waved until we exited the long driveway. It will make her happy to know he was waving.


	7. Chapter 7

**The vote was pretty much unanimous with only a very few votes for girl, the boys won by a landslide! I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.***

**SWADDLED IN BLUE HE **is lying in a clear bassinette. From the doorway of Lynn's hospital room I watch him bring one of his tiny fists to his mouth. In reflex his tongue pushes past his lips to taste it. My breath is caught in my throat; my body is frozen statue still. All I can do is stand and stare, taking in the perfection that is my very new baby brother. Christian breaks my stupor by knocking softly on the open door, alerting Ray and Lynn of our presence.

Ray is sitting in the hospital green leather chair by Lynn's bedside holding her hand. He looks from her face to mine when he hears the knock. Hospital green, there is a certain shade of green you see in every hospital. I swear it is the same no matter what hospital or even doctor's office you are in, hospital green.

"Annie," He beams the smile of a proud father and when he looks to Ted who is sleeping on Christian's shoulder I see the pride of a grandfather in his smile too.

I attempt to choke out words but tears take their place and all I can do is go to this man who I could not love more than I already do. He could not be more of a father to me and I could not be more his daughter than I already am. He molded me into who I am today; blood does not determine how much love can exist between a parent and their child.

Ray takes me in his arms, embracing me in greeting. He pulls away and nods at Christian. I look back at my husband. His face is full of warmth. "Go, meet your brother." He softly urges me.

I allow Ray to take my hand. He leads me to the sleeping baby. "Alexander Daniel Steele," he announces lifting his son from the bassinette. The baby is petite in his fathers, our fathers, arms. Ray cups his hand at the back of Alexander's head. "We chose Alexander because it reminded us of Anastasia and Daniel was Lynn's father's name." He explains, and the tears that were pooling in my eyes begin find their way down my cheeks.

"I love it." I whisper back.

"Don't cry, Annie. Do you want to hold him?"

I nod my head 'yes' frantically and hold my arms out to take him. He feels like soft newness. I bring him close enough so that I can kiss his cheek and inhale his new baby scent. "Hi, Alexander Daniel Steele," I greet him. My next words feel silly, but necessary. "I'm Ana, your big sister and I've been waiting my whole life for you." My heart swells and I know it has just made another place for a person I love. Biological or not, Alexander is my brother. A brother, I spent my entire childhood wanting a sibling and now I have one.

When I am finally able to tear my attention away from the sleeping bundle in my arms I look back to Christian. He is standing just inside the door. His gaze is locked on me and his hands are rubbing the back of our sleeping boy. Ted's head is resting comfortably on his shoulder. "Congratulations, Ray, Lynn."

"Thank you, Christian." They both answer him in unison.

Teddy stirs and lifts his head. Blinking his eyes he realizes who we are with and his face illuminates brighter than the North Star when it first breaks over the evening horizon. "Gamps!"

"My little partner." Christian puts Ted down, his destination is clear. He wants to be held in Ray's arms. Ray lifts him and moves to stand beside me, allowing Ted to see his uncle. How funny is it to have your uncle be younger than you are. It may seem backwards, but it is how our family is growing and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Do you see the baby, Ted? His name is Alexander." I hold him for Ted to see. Teddy looks on with interest.

We all chuckle when he holds one little finger up to his lips. "Shhhhh…" He tells us, letting us know to be quiet because the baby is asleep.

"Would you like to hold him, Christian?"

Christian shakes his head shyly. "I don't want to impose. This is your moment with your family, baby." I can see the truth behind his answer. He does want to hold him. I am sure the same familiarity is washing over him that is washing over me, sweet memories of our baby boy when he was only hours old.

I shift my eyes to Ray and wordlessly signals to me that it is okay for Christian to hold his son. I never doubted that it would be. I offer him to Christian once more and this time he accepts. With gentle care I pass Alexander from my arms to Christian's. He eases right back into the method of holding a newborn as if it was only yesterday that he held Ted. Hope spreads through my veins at the sight before me. It is only a matter of time before this is our reality again, a new baby to hold and love, an addition to our family.

Exhausted from the night before and the early morning hours, Lynn begins to dose and we take that as our sign to leave the new family unit to enjoy some private time. Teddy is also hungry and demanding a 'nack.' A short hour seems like no time at all to visit with my daddy and new brother. There will be plenty of time though. I kiss all three of them and promise to be back later in the evening.

Ray urges us to stay at the house instead of a hotel. "There's no one else there right now."

Christian being Christian, money is no object, insists we find our own accommodations. I would have enjoyed staying at my childhood home, the most consistent one I ever knew, but I relinquish to staying in a hotel. I know Christian would not be comfortable any other way. Ray's home in Montesano is not grand by any means. It is quaint, nice, but not what Christian is used to. I fear that nothing in Montesano will be what Christian is accustomed too.

Once in the vehicle I am proven correct. "Such a small town," He remarks, turning on 410, the one and only main highway in the city. Even the word city feels too big for Montesano. Our Audi SUV seems out of place among the other cars driving up and down the streets.

"It was home." I glance wistfully out the window. Those days were eons ago, at least they give the impression that they were.

Old homes framed by front porches with rocking chairs, American made cars, which are far from new, driving up and down two lane streets. People stop at one of the many sports bars or the Stop & Go Burger joint for a bite to eat. Things move at a slower pace here, much slower than Seattle. We pass Ray's woodworking shop and I beam upon seeing his new sign. He told me about it last month, there was so much pride in his voice. I cannot believe I have never taken Christian here; he has never been to the town where I attended junior high and high school.

Glancing over to the driver's seat I see a look of unease on his face and I instantly know why, he is thrown by the milieu surrounding us. There are no sky scrapers or expensive cars like the one we are in. All around us the scene is set with simplicity. We come to the end of town and Christian turns around in a gas station parking lot, a light drizzle has begun to fall from the sky and I hope we can stop traveling soon. Teddy demands a snack and I turn back to offer him another graham cracker.

Going back the way we came we pass the red slated wood sign with the outline of the state of Washington on it. "Population 4,010?" Christian mumbles to himself and I cannot decipher by his tone if it is a question or a statement. I go with a statement of disbelief. Christian Grey is truly out of his element.

Passing motel after motel we are soon leaving the city limits again. "Christian, really…we could just stay at Ray's." I try again, knowing the Day's Inn and Motel 6 will not do. They will never do for Christian, not here or in any alternate universe. Truthfully the entire situation is comical. It takes a lot to make the confident man beside me feel like a fish out of water. Or maybe it doesn't, this little town seems to be doing a fine job at it.

He pulls to a stop at a gas station and I sit quietly while he fiddles with the GPS and his phone. "Do you mind if we don't stay right in Montesano?" He asks, scrolling down the screen.

"How far away are you thinking?"

"I have found suitable accommodations in Olympia; it is only thirty miles from here." His fingers swipe down his phone screen as he looks at whatever webpage he has pulled up. Now, I definitely want to laugh. I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle my grin. "Something amusing you, Mrs. Grey?" His eyes shift from the GPS and screen of his phone. He raises an eyebrow at me. I turn watch the traffic driving by out my window.

"Not at all, Mr. Grey." I struggle to maintain a straight face. A bubble of a giggle escapes my throat. One. Two. Three. Four. I count the cars as they pass to try to suppress hilarity threatening to take over.

"Are you laughing at me, Mrs. Grey?"

"I wouldn't dare, Mr. Grey." With great effort I purse my lips in a straight line, keeping my expression stoic.

"I think you do dare." He gives me my words back in a conversation reminiscent to others we have had in the past.

"You are quite funny."

"Funny?"

"Oh yes."

"Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?" He plays along, enjoying our little game.

"A bit of both." I let my smile slip, my lips stretching into a wide grin. Unable to maintain his passive mien any longer he smiles too.

"Ha ha!" The little voice from the backseat rings out mocking us both.

We both burst out laughing. "I do remember these little tête-à-tête's going a tad differently in the past."

I wipe the tears of laughter away as they stream down my face. "Yes, we did not have a little comedian with us then." Teddy, knowing he is eliciting a reaction out of us, continues on. In a singsong voice he repeats 'ha ha' over and over to himself.

"You did not answer my initial question, Mrs. Grey. Would it be alright with you if we stay in Olympia?"

I want to tell him it is ridiculous for us to go to Olympia, but being that it is only thirty miles from Montesano and I know Christian will be more comfortable there I agree.

"Good." He puts his phone to his ear and begins speaking with who I assume is a receptionist at the hotel he has chosen for us. I listen to the one sided conversation as Christian secures a room for us. The price is steep, I didn't know hotel rooms cost that much in Olympia. "They are expecting us." He says ending the phone call and dropping his phone into the cup holder between us. He shifts the SUV into drive and pulls back out into traffic.

"It isn't noon yet, Christian."

"So?"

"Don't most hotels require that you check-in sometime after noon?"

"Yes."

"But it isn't noon yet?" I state the obvious again.

"I didn't pay as much as I'm paying for the room so we could wait around until their regular check-in hours begin."

Oh, that is the reason for the absurd amount of money I heard him discussing. It also explains the use of his full name and company name. I don't think we will be in a simple room with two double beds. _Duh_…my subconscious rolls her eyes at me and if we didn't have a little passenger in the backseat I would roll my eyes too, and I would make sure Mr. Crème de la crème saw me. I squirm slightly in my seat making a mental note to roll my eyes in his presence soon. After all, we are supposed to be having tons of mind blowing sex. Yesterday in Christian's office comes to mind and I let my thoughts drift.


	8. Chapter 8

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, thank you for all of your kind reviews, AND if are one of the two reviewers who were not so kind this time, well...inserts pen and piece of paper or laptop...write your own story and stop telling me how to write mine. ;)

"Nack, Nack, Nack!" The insistent one man entourage buckled safely in his car seat behind us is demanding lunch. Shortly after leaving the Montesano city limits the graham crackers I was able to pacify him with lost their appeal. Intermittently between playing with his airplane and still chanting 'ha, ha' to himself requests a nack, which means he wants lunch.

"Pancakes, that sounds delicious." I point to the iconic red, white, and blue sign ahead of us. It is just three blocks away on the right. My stomach growls in response and agreement.

Christian stops the SUV at the red light. There are a few cars in front of us, but I know he must be able to clearly see the restaurant I am pointing to. "IHOP, Mrs. Grey? You do know it is lunchtime?" He glances at the clock. "Make that after lunch time. I know of a very nice place downtown not far from where we will be staying."

I place my hands in front of me as if I am praying and plead with him. "Please, Christian. You know Ted will love it. He hasn't eaten at IHOP yet and you yourself have said how it was a tradition for your father to take you there. Now you have the chance to start a tradition with Ted."

"Are you using our son as a ploy to go to IHOP because you want pancakes for lunch?" He gives me a perceptive stare.

"Maybe…it has been months since I had pancakes and they sound so good right now." My stomach rumbles again, this time loud enough to be heard. I cover it with my hands, embarrassed by my body's boisterous noises.

"Fine, we can go to IHOP." Christian chuckles and flicks his turn signal on. My appetite is incredibly grateful.

We look like any other normal, middle class, American family having lunch on a Friday afternoon at an IHOP in Olympia, Washington. Christian dressed in his khaki jeans, navy Oxford under sweater, and converse, catches the hostesses eye, but I don't care. His eyes are set solely on me and the baby boy holding my hand as he toddles alongside me. She has the good grace to stop her ogling when she sees Ted reach for Christian's hand.

"How many?" The young blonde asks rifling through the menus in search of a child's menu.

"Three, please." Christian answers taking Ted's hand in his, allowing him to stand between us.

"Right this way." She takes the two adult menus and the child's menu complete with a small box of crayons and leads us to a booth, fetching a highchair along the way.

Teddy's eyes are as big as saucers when we pass a table where a man is dining on a tower of pancakes laden with butter and syrup. "Takes…" He whispers in near awe. He is mesmerized; I think it is the quietest he has ever spoken.

I giggle, "I believe our son is quiet taken with the idea of IHOP."

"He loves pancakes, just like his mommy." Christian lifts Ted into his arms and holds him there while I take a few wipes the diaper bag slung over my shoulder. I don't want to appear snooty, the restaurant is clean, immaculately so, but I can never be too careful with my Ted. The hostess becomes disinterested and I swear she even turns her nose up a bit when she sees me quickly wipe down the highchair before Christian places Ted in it and secures the straps. Let her think what she wants.

Menu in hand I quickly scan it and choose what I want. Reminiscing our first time in an IHOP together I recall it is the exact same thing I had then. The difference this time is our son sitting between us. Ted plays with his spoon, investigating it and every so often quietly clanking it with his fork, the crayons are of no interest to him.

"Do you want a pancake with bananas, Ted?" I point to the picture of a single pancake on the paper children's menu in front of him.

"Takes." He confirms my question with his one worded answer.

Our waitress, Rachel is the name on the tag positioned over the logo on her shirt, appears with her order pad and pen in hand.

"Good afternoon, may I start you off with some drinks or are you ready to order?"

"We're ready. My wife will have the original buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup and bacon the side, a glass of orange juice and an English breakfast tea. My son would like a single pancake, syrup on the side please, and a slice banana on the side as well. I would like a vegetable omelet, a side of bacon, a glass of orange juice and a black coffee with skim milk." Rachel jots down the lengthy order with no problem. She is obviously an experienced waitress.

She smiles and dots her pen on her pad. "Got it, I'll take those menus for you. And your food will be right out." Christian returns her kind smile with one of his own and places the menus in her hand.

Teddy waves to her, giving her his own smile, little flirt that he is.

"He is just adorable." She remarks, wiggling her fingers as she returns Ted's wave.

"Thank you." I take on of his hands and bring it to my lips to kiss it.

"Mama, tiss." Ted takes my hand and gives it one of his slobbery baby kisses.

Our food arrives promptly and I cut Ted's pancake in bite size pieces then drizzle a smidgen of syrup over them and add the banana slices to the top. He wastes no time digging in. At first he uses his fork, carefully trying to spear each individual slice. Watching him attempt to maneuver the adult sized fork to his mouth is comical, but he manages quite well. Half way through his plate he becomes tired of the task, finishing the remainder of his pancakes with his fingers. A complete wipe down with a few baby wipes is in his near future.

**THE HOTEL CHRISTIAN HAS **chosen for us is in the heart of downtown Olympia. Our two room suite faces the waterfront, the Budd Inlet stretching out before us. With Ted propped on my hip I pull back one of the sheer cream colored curtains to take in the view. The harbor below is filled with boats and just beyond the blue waters and forest of evergreen is a stunning snow covered mountain. Framed against the steel overcast sky the shades of blue, green and the pure white snow are majestic. I love the view at home, water as far as far as the eye can see, but there is something mystic about this view too.

Christian settles with the employee who helped bring our luggage up to the suite and closes the door when he leaves. "Much better than a Days Inn or Motel 6," he murmurs to himself taking in the two large rooms. I shift my eyes to take in the room with him, all the while hiding my smile as he has just voiced the exact thought I was thinking while we drove up and down the main highway in Montesano only a few hours ago.

In the living area two sage green sofas face each other in front of a cozy gas fireplace; there is a large square shaped coffee table between them. To one side of the fireplace there is a desk, lamp and brown office chair. On the other is a short bookcase holding a few tchotchkes and books. A collection of large and small pictures of the state capital and the water front hang above the desk and bookcase. Tucked in the corner is a mini fridge, microwave, a small wet bar and table with four chairs.

"The front desk asked if we were interested in a crib, I told them no." Christian takes Ted from my arms. "Would you like to sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight?" Teddy claps his hands and scurries down from Christian's arms. As fast as his legs will carry him he runs to the other room where the king bed is waiting for him. Giving it as much effort as he can he struggles to climb on top. Coming up behind him Christian gives him a boost by placing his hand on Ted's bottom. Ted crawls to the center of the bed and places his head on the soft down pillows. "It's not night time yet, son."

"His tummy is full of pancake, Daddy. He may want a nap."

As if to confirm my suspicion Teddy rubs his sleepy gray eyes. "I'll change him and put him down."

"Tuck the pillows around him to be sure he doesn't roll out without us being on either side of him." My little boy is quite a wiggly worm when he sleeps.

"I will."

"I think I'm going to go call, Mom. Check in and see how she is. Then I'll call Ray. I'd like to go back to see them this evening." I pause before leaving the room. Christian is already stepping out of his shoes and taking Ted's off of him as well. "I was thinking, I could take the SUV and go myself instead of carting you and Ted along." Christian turns his head to look at me. His face says, have you lost your mind? "Christian, I'm a big girl you know. I can drive myself the thirty miles back to Montesano. I did live here for the better part of my life you know." I retort to his wordless reproof. My Fifty, my favorite control freak. The only control freak I know. There is none other like him. He purses his lips, thinking it over. "You could take Ted down to play in the pool while I am gone and then I can join you when I come back." I suggest.

Finally his skepticism fades into a grin. "Call me when you arrive at the hospital and then again when you are leaving."

"Yes, sir."

His grin turns into something more wicked. "There are two rooms in this suite, Mrs. Grey."

"I am fully aware of that, Mr. Grey. Now, you put our son down for his nap and I am going to go make my phone calls."

"Bossy, bossy," he clicks his tongue against his teeth. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something." I toss over my shoulder and close the bedroom door behind me.


	9. Chapter 9

**TWO RINGS AND THEN **she answers the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi Mom, it's me." I sit on one of the two sofas and tuck my legs in front of me. I should take off my shoes. Putting them on the furniture isn't very polite.

"Ana, darling, how is everyone?"

"Good," Relief. She sounds happy, good. "How are you doing? Did you call Grace?"

"I did, we are going for dinner later this evening. Taylor has offered to drive me. We are meeting at some restaurant I honestly cannot remember the name of, but he knows where to take me."

I must remember to call Grace and thank her for having dinner with my mom on such short notice. In fact I must call her to tell her about Alexander's birth. I want to hold him in my arms again. "That is wonderful. We have arrived at our hotel and I am going to drive back to Montesano this afternoon to spend more time visiting with Ray, Lynn and the baby. His name is Alexander." I don't know how much information she wants about Ray and Lynn's son. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing. She and Ray have always had an amicable relationship, even after their divorce. It was not a messy divorce, or at least to a young girl entering high school it never seemed as such.

"Such a beautiful name...it sounds very nice with your name." She hesitates before adding the last part. "Sometimes I wish I had given you a biological sibling."

"Mom…" I start, not wanting to dredge up any ill feelings. That was not the intention of my phone call. "I'm sorry if I…"

"No, no." She cuts me off. "I'm just being silly. You go and enjoy your time with the baby and with Ray. I must get going so I can shower and dress. You're still coming home tomorrow?"

"Of course, I will see you then."

"Bye sweetie, I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

I sit in the tranquil silence, soaking in the conversation. Mom seems well at times and volatile at others. The uncertainty surrounding her moods concerns me. I suppose with things the way they are it is only natural for her to sway so easily from upset to happy. For a fleeting moment I think of calling Bob myself, but then think better of it. This is not my problem and I will not stress myself about it. I have my own family now and my mom is going to have to take care of this on her own. I spent so much time caring for her when I was young. These notions are second nature to me.

I finish my short call to Ray just as Christian comes out of the door leading into the bedroom. "Are you leaving soon?"

"I told Ray I would be there in about an hour. I don't want to be a burden to them." He sits on the sofa next to me and I untuck my feet, putting them on the floor I lean forward and set my phone on the coffee table.

"You will never be a burden to your dad. He wants you there as much as you want to be there. I could see it. It overjoyed him to have his two children in the same room. He must have been a good dad when you were young."

I smile and focus on the little pot of greenery in the center of the coffee table. "The best, Alexander is very fortunate to have him."

"He's fortunate to have you too. Come, give me your feet. Let me indulge you before you leave."

Using my toes I nudge my feet free from my Converses and turn my body sideways. Resting my back against the arm of the couch I place my feet in Christians lap. He slips my simple white cotton socks off and begins kneading my right foot. His long, skilled fingers work my heel and then my arch. It feels so good. Lacing his fingers between my toes he continues to give me the most mind massage.

"You know, Mrs. Grey," he begins and I force my eyes open. My lids becoming heavy with each heavenly motion his fingers make against my foot. "Your ensemble of jeans and gray WSU sweatshirt make you look like a college student again."

"You approve? I thought you preferred me in heels and a dress?"

He dips his head down and lightly kisses each of my rose painted toes before moving on to my left foot. His hands start at the heel of my foot, working their way up the arch just like before. "It reminds me of how sexy and innocent you were when I first met you. I love you in anything and in nothing."

I put my bottom lip out in an animated pout. "Am I not still sexy?"

"Sexier, Mrs. Grey, but not so innocent anymore," I blush the same crimson as the WSU letters on my shirt. "It is a fantasy I would like to indulge in though."

My mouth goes dry. "Are you suggesting we engage in some role play, Mr. Grey?"

"Mmmm…" He kisses all five of my painted pink toes on my left foot. "I do believe so."

His hands, now finished with my foot massage, travel up my calves and shins. Skating along the dark denim until they come to the apex of my thighs, where he applies pressure. Shamelessly I move my hips, rubbing against his hands.

"Naughty, sweet, sweet, girl." He stands and pulls me down so that my head lies flat on the sage sofa cushion. Christian lies down on top of me, tucking one of his legs between mine. I continue the movements from before, this time against his leg instead of his hands. "We don't have long before you have to leave." He kisses my lips and I lift my head wanting to keep his lips locked with mine. His long fingers cradled the back of my head, combing through my hair. His tongue brushes mine and outlines my lips, biting my bottom lip gently. "There are no words for how sexy you look. I've wanted to do this all day."

"Make out with a college girl? I believe you've done that already, Mr. Grey. If you remember correctly I had not yet graduated when I gave you my virginity." I hold his gaze and tangle my fingers in his hair too.

"I remember everything. Now, lie back. I'm going to make you come before you leave. It will give you something to look forward to when you come back this evening."

Nestling my head back, flat on the couch I keep my gaze on him. Christian pops the button on my jeans and slides the zipper down. "Very naughty, black lace panties," He shakes his head in fake admonishment. "Good little girls wear white cotton panties, Anastasia."

"Who said I was a good girl?"

He places a light smack against my sex and I cover my mouth to smother my yelp. I instantly feel myself becoming wet for him. "You are a good girl. You may only be anything else for me."

"Yes, sir."

His gray gaze enflames to searing hot from mildly wicked in a nanosecond. This is going to be good. I lift my bottom to help him slide my jeans and panties down. He peels them from my body leaving me only in my sweatshirt. Fuck this is hot. His eyes flick up to me and then down to watch his hands. Slowly he pets me there before dipping a single finger inside. "So wet…do you feel how wet you are for me?"

His finger slides over my bare skin, coating me with my own wetness. "Yes." I whisper, watching his finger dance over my most delicate and sensitive part. Two fingers disappear, nestling deep inside of me. In and out, he draws them out to his finger tips and pushes them back in as far as he can. His ministrations drive me wild. I feel my core growing numb, needing to climax, but not being able to reach it. "Christian, please…"

"Please what?" He looks up from where he has been watching his fingers with rapt attention. The gleam in his roguish, he enjoys teasing me. He knows exactly what he is doing and how mad it is driving me.

"Please make me come."

"How many times?"

"However many you want."

"Good girl, very good answer. There." He whispers and flicks his fingers riotously, hitting that pleasurable spot deep inside of me over and over again. "Listen to yourself come, Anastasia. Come all over my fingers. I cannot wait to lick your sweet come off of each of my fingers one at a time."

I grasp the arm of the sofa behind my head and bite hard on my lips, moaning and writhing with each orgasm. They come in succession, one after the other until I have lost count or maybe there is nothing to count because they are all blurring together into one long drawn out wave of pleasure. My eyes flutter closed when the last swells of hedonism wash over me like gentle waves lapping at the seashore. Gentle waves left behind by a carnal storm of eroticism.

Warm kisses are placed against my sex. "Open your eyes." He cajoles. I do and I see him holding his thumb to his lips. "Watch." He whispers and slowly, savoring each drop, he licks my moisture from his fingers. First his thumb, then each of the four fingers to follow. His tongue winds between his fingers, leaving behind nothing. "The finest confection, Mrs. Grey," He declares and a flutter jumps in my core.

"Oh!" I gasp.

"What was that for?"

"I think…I think I came again." My face heats with flush. Is it possible to come without him touching me? It felt like an aftershock of sorts.

Christian smiles wickedly. "That is a first for you, Mrs. Grey." I look at him confused and he reads my question without me saying it aloud. "And yes, it is a very possible thing." He moves until he is face to face with me again and kisses my lips. "That should keep you satisfied until you return in a few hours."

I smile and kiss him again, wrapping my legs around his waist. I want more, I always want more when it comes to Christian, but this time it will have to wait. Thirty minutes have passed and I need to get back to Montesano before it gets too late.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you going to do while I'm gone?" I button my pants and sit down to put back on my recently discarded socks and shoes.

Christian hands me my second sock and shoe from the floor. "Work, I have a few things I should take care of. Leaving on short notice did not give me the chance to tie up the few loose ends I needed to before the weekend. Ros has handled most of what I had not yet wrapped up for the week."

"But you want to ensure everything has been taken care of properly." I finish.

He grins slyly. "You know me so well, Mrs. Grey."

"I know what a control freak you are." I lean over and peck his lips, those delectable and talented lips.

"My control freakery works to your advantage more often than not."

"Freakery? Now who needs lesson in the English language?"

"I never claimed you needed a lesson in the English language, Mrs. Grey. I have merely questioned your grammatical prowess in the past."

"Hmmmm…" I smirk.

"Be careful and call me." He takes my mouth with his once more, kissing me slowly and passionately. "Enjoy your time with your family."

"I will and I will."

Overwhelmed by the sheer size of the Audi SUV I touch the various buttons and dials to ensure I know exactly where the windshield wiper switch and headlight switch are. The typical Washington coast winter drizzle has ended for now. I know it could begin again before I reach Montesano. This time of year it is almost always continuous. I have ridden in this vehicle numerous times, but have only driven it once or twice and never by myself. Now I know why. I much prefer the compactness of my Saab or R8. To say I am intimidated by this beast of an automobile is an understatement.

Not wanting to hold up the driveway to the concierge service any longer I shift from park to drive and cautiously pull away from the circular porte-cochere where the valet is still standing. If I could read his thoughts he is probably thinking something about how he should move to a safer place to stand, so close to the curb may not be his smartest choice.

I am pleased when I find I am easily able to navigate my way not only out of the hotel driveway, but onto Capitol Way and eventually to merge onto I-5 toward Portland. Once on the interstate I relax and press the button on the steering wheel, turning the volume up on the stereo. I decide against listening to Christian's massive playlist on his iPod and switch over to AM/FM stereo, something Christian rarely listens to while driving. I scan through the stations until I find one I listened to so often when I was in high school and college. By myself I laugh out loud, the stalkers anthem, which Christian put on the playlist he made for me when he gave me my iPad, fills the cabin. Bright rays break through the clouds giving a rare winter glimpse of the sun and I reach for my sunglasses from where they are tucked in console. I slip them on and sing along with The Police. Still a few hours ahead of rush hour traffic is light, making the trip from Olympia to Montesano an easy and enjoyable one. These carefree solo moments are few and far between. I would not trade motherhood for the world, but right now I am soaking up blithe spirit flowing through my veins.

**I SQUEEZE THE MAMMOTH **size SUV into one of the few tiny parking spaces left in the parking garage and turn the engine off. Navigating this garage has proven to be the most challenging part of my trip back to Montesano. Before exiting the car I pick my phone up and dial Christian's number.

The phone barely has a chance to ring. "Anastasia? He answers immediately.

"Yes, Christian. I'm here." I keep the humor out of my voice. He will be hurt if he knows I find his level of unease comical. I only made a thirty minute drive by myself and to hear his tone you would think I've just sailed around the world.

I hear him let out a deep breath. "Thank God, the drive was easy for you? You didn't have any problems?"

"No, and I've arrived safe and sound. I'm just going up to the hospital room now. You'll never guess what I heard while driving here..."

He sighs again, "You were driving distractedly with the radio on."

I giggle bubbles up from my lips. "Aren't you the little hypocrite? You drive with music on, why is it okay for you but distracted driving when I do it?"

"Are you going in to see your brother or not?"

I want to pout, but Christian's control freakery as he calls it is just too amusing sometimes. "I am going, Mr. Grey."

"Call me when you are on your way back." He says abruptly. I hear a hint of amusement in his voice, telling me he is not actually mad at me.

"I will, Christian." I am smiling.

"I love you." I hear his smile.

I pucker my lips and kiss the speaker on phone. "I love you too."

**WINDING MY WAY THROUGH **the sterile halls and elevators of Grays Harbor Community Hospital I come to stand in front of the closed door to Lynn's hospital room. Though I was only here a few hours ago it oddly feels like a large span of time has passed. Like Christian did when we first arrived I knock tentatively.

"Come in," Ray's voice sounds from the other side.

Upon opening the door I am welcomed by not only his smile and Lynn's, but also the smile of Lynn's daughter Sharon and Brayden, Lynn's little five year old grandson. Instantly I notice how much Brayden has grown since the last time I saw him in August when Lynn and my father were married. With his blonde curls and soft blue eyes he was the cutest ring bearer in the world. I can still see him holding Teddy's hand with one of his as he guided him up the path to the pavilion at Fleet Park where Ray stood waiting. In his other hand he balanced a small white pillow with two wedding rings tied securely to it. They were both adorable ring bearers.

"Annie," Ray comes to hug me. Alexander is sleeping in Sharon's arms while Brayden looks on with wide eyes, taking in his new baby uncle. "Where are Christian and my little partner?" He asks looking around behind me for the other two parts of me who are missing.

"Teddy was tired and fell asleep for his nap. Christian stayed behind with him. They'll be back tomorrow to visit." He nods and pats my back. "Oh, Mom sends her good wishes."

The corners of Ray's eyes crinkle with his smile. "Tell her I said, thank you. Well, you know Sharon and Brayden."

I wave and sit in the chair Ray is offering for me. "Of course, how are you both doing?"

"Good, I never thought I'd be a sister at this point in my life." Sharon beams, looking up from our baby brother's precious face.

"That makes two of us." I agree.

"Would you like to hold him, Ana?"

"I don't want to intrude on your visiting time." I shake my hands.

"Nonsense, we've been here hogging all of the baby time for nearly two hours now. You have your turn." She stands and comes over to me. I hold my arms out and support Alexander's head as he is passed from one of his sisters to the other.

"Momma, I'm hungry and really, really, really thirsty." Brayden tugs on her pants leg.

She looks down at him mock exasperation. "You're always hungry and thirsty young man." I can see the humor behind her eyes.

He pouts, putting his bottom lip out for her to see. "Can we please go to McDonalds?"

"You saw it when we passed it on the way here, didn't you?"

His bouncing blonde curls bob up and down as he nods his head. "Yup."

Sharon sighs, "I suppose since we are in town anyway. Come on."

Brayden's eyes light up like Christmas. "Bye, Ray! Bye, Gran!"

"Bye, Brayden." Ray and Lynn answer in chorus, both chuckling at his sudden burst of liveliness.

Brayden nearly leads Sharon out of the hospital room by her shirt sleeve, anxious for his ice cream cone, chicken nuggets and French fries. I suppose there is nothing better than a trip to McDonalds to a five year old little boy. Sharon hugs Ray and kisses Lynn, promising to be back tomorrow. They leave and the room is quiet again, with the exception of the small sighs and grunts from Alexander.

"I hope he sleeps this well when you get him home." I tuck his blanket under his chin.

Lynn looks on from her hospital bed. "They often have a way of fooling you when they are still so brand new and in the hospital. I know Sharon did it to me and Brayden did it to her. Slept like perfect angels in the hospital and then bayed at the moon like little wolves when they got home. They do it that way to trick you into keeping them because once you have them home they figure it's safe to show their true colors."

I laugh and kiss the baby's head. "Not this little guy, I think you'll be surprised."

"I hope so." She says, sounding already like a new mom who needs her sleep. I remember those days all too well. Christian was wonderful though, always getting up with Ted, never leaving me to do everything on my own, and I know Ray will be the same way for Lynn. Heck, he took care of me more often than not when I was growing up. The way he will be with Alexander will be no different.


	11. Chapter 11

**MY VISIT LASTS LONGER **than I expect it too and the early afternoon drifts into early evening. I leave Alexander, Lynn and Ray with hugs and kisses, promising Ray I will stop by the house on the way out of town to collect his mail and that I will be back tomorrow. A short fifteen minutes later I am turning onto Walnut Street. The tree lined sidewalks are just as I remember them. Children's bicycles are laid haphazardly on front lawns where they have been parked after being ridden to visit friends. In the driveway of the fifth house on the street two little girls have drawn a hopscotch with sidewalk chalk and are engaged in a game. I smile remembering how simple my childhood was. My childhood friends and I lived very much the same kind of everyday life.

Suddenly I want to share this with Christian. He was unable to come to Ray and Lynn's wedding. A trip to New York called him away. It was only Ted, Kate and I who travelled from Seattle to be here for the nuptials. I was then able to share my most cherished childhood home with my son, if only for a brief day. Christian and has never seen it and I want him too.

I pull up to Ray's house, passing the giant oak on the right side of the driveway. Briefly I recount that the oak tree and I do not have the best of history together. I fell off of my bike and crashed into it numerous times while learning how to ride my bike without training wheels. I have been clumsy my whole life. The single story brick ranch home looks the same as it always has. The only differences I can see are the pots of ornamental winter cabbages on the front porch, Lynn's touch. I turn off the ignition and climb out of the beast of a vehicle. On the front door hangs a sweet snowflake wreath, another touch of Lynn's. I lift open the mailbox hanging on a single nail by the front door. I never understood why Ray did not have a mailbox at the curb. All of my friends did. Now looking around I see that if he had he would have been out of place. None of the houses on our street have mailboxes on the curbs. They all hang by the front doors. Taking out the stack of envelopes and coupons I close the lid on the black box and slide my key in the door. It turns easily, recognizing the lock it belongs too.

The house is quiet and smells of cedar and potpourri, mulberry I think. The scent matches the old house well. Adding to the comforting sense of home it already holds for me. I inhale deeply and smile. I would have liked to have stayed here. I toss the mail on the kitchen table and water the few plants I find in the kitchen window. Before leaving I cannot resist peeking at the nursery.

Down the hall, past my old room I find Alexander's room. The room is painted a harvest yellow and all of the furniture is handmade, every piece the same dark hue of mahogany. Ray, he made all of this. The rocking chair, crib, changing table, bureau, toy chest and even a small table with two child sized chairs to go with it. It is darling. To complete the room there is a chocolate brown rug resting over the hardwood floors. In my mind's eye I can picture Ray working tirelessly to make everything just so for his son. I can also see Ray holding him and rocking him in the wee hours of the morning in the rocking chair he made. Ray has never been a man to show his feelings, but when I had a bad dream at night or couldn't sleep because I was sick he was always the first at my side. He never left me until he was certain I was okay without him. I close the door behind me and stop by my room. It is just as I left it, as if it is waiting for me to return to it any day. I wonder if Ray will change it into a guest room now that his guest room is a nursery. The bad taste the thought leaves in my mouth is a silly one. I am a grown woman, married, with a child, and I have a home of my own. Why wouldn't my dad turn my room into something else? My expecting anything else would be absurd. Still, if he were to change my childhood room I would feel like a part of me had changed. _You've been gone for years since you left for college, _my subconscious reminds me with a roll of her eyes. _ I came back to visit when I was in college, _I snap at her to remind her and ask her to keep her opinion to herself. These are my childhood securities not hers.

My phone ringing in my pocket makes me jump and I quickly dig in my jeans to answer it. I fumble and nearly hang up when I slide the icon to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"I've been so worried about you." Christian. "You haven't called, it's been hours. I've called the hospital room and you aren't there anymore. Ray told me you left some time ago. You never called to say you were on your way…" He never pauses to allow me to get a word in edge wise. I wonder if he's even taken a breath between any of his words, probably not.

"Did he tell you where I was?" I interject, interrupting his growing tirade. I slouch and lean my hip against the door frame, staring at the pattern of brown and blue circles on my bedspread. I remember buying that. We drove to a mall in Olympia and I picked it out along with all of the then new décor for my room. It was Ray's present to me for my sixteenth birthday.

"He said you went to bring in his mail."

"And that is where I am. I was about to leave and I would have called you then." Keeping my tone patient I do not lose my temper, there is no reason to. Christian is merely being Christian.

"So you are leaving now?"

"I am."

"Please be careful and do not turn on the radio." This time my subconscious and I both roll our eyes and this time I approve of her eye rolling. "I know you're rolling your eyes at me."

"I would never dream of doing that."

"Yes you would and you do, often."

"Only because you are exasperating sometimes, Mr. Grey, but I love you and I would not have you any other way."

"Good. Now get your sexy ass back here so I can teach it a lesson or two about eye rolling."

I giggle and everything south of my waist warms at the image of me bent over Christian's lap, his hand connecting with my behind. "I do hope you are watching your language around our son."

I hear shuffling on the phone, like Christian has put it down on the couch. "He just woke up," he comes back on the line. "I need to go fetch him. See you soon. I love you."

"I love you." I kiss the phone and hang it up.

Locking the door behind me as I go I leave the house just as I found it, only with new mail on the table and fresh water in Lynn's kitchen plants. A steady rain has begun to fall causing me to cover my head with my arms as I dash from the front porch. Instantly when I am in the shelter of the SUV the heavens open up completely and the rain pours down in buckets. I shiver and turn the key, cranking the heat up as high as it will go. My body shivers, chilled and wet. Getting back to Christian and the warm hotel room is sounding better and better. Maybe we can spend the night in front of the fireplace…on the floor…naked…making love. My inner goddess slips out of her converse in preparation.

Checking my mirrors to ensure there are no cars coming from either direction I start to back out the driveway, my movement is halted by a sudden bump. I yelp out loud and slam my foot on the brake. My skin prickles, what feels like an electric current runs through me. I am jolted and panicked. I turn my head again, looking between the front seats and see it, the damned oak tree. It is right at my rear bumper, against the bumper.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I bang the steering wheel in frustration. Nausea and adrenaline take over and the jolted feeling turns into me shaking and my stomach churning. I'm not hurt, I didn't hit another car. My hands tremble as I put the SUV into park. Maybe I didn't hit in that hard, maybe there is no damage. _Ummmm…sure…_my subconscious looks at me in snootily.

In the cold rain again I walk around to survey the damage. "Christian is going to fucking flip." I say to myself, putting my hand to my forehead. What do I do? I've never hit anything before. I have to call him; he's going to see the monumental dent in the bumper and the scratches in the flawless black paint. It's not so flawless anymore.

I pull the SUV forward in the driveway and away from that cursed tree. I knew that damn thing was out to get me. No one runs into a tree as mine times as I have and comes away unscathed every time. This is nothing compared to the few scrapes and bruises my knees and arms endured. Christian was already skeptical about me driving back here by myself. This is only going to serve to validate his skepticism. I will never drive anywhere without him ever again without having to beg and plead. He is going to go thermonuclear on me, I just know it.

Hands shaking I dial his cell and wait with baited breath while it rings. I hear his voice and burst into tears.

"Ana? Ana! What is it?" He's freaking out and suspecting the worst.

Deep breaths, one, two, three. "Christian, I backed into a tree. I was leaving Ray's house and there is this damn tree I always ran into on my bike and I hit it with the SUV. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." My words spill out at a rapid fire pace, reminding me of how Christian sounded when he called me earlier to find out where I was.

His response to me shocks me more than the jolt of hitting the tree. "Ana, Ana, stop, listen to me. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I hear papers rustling.

"I'm fine," I choke back a sob. "I wish I could say the same for the bumper."

"Call your dad and have him come to you. Christ, I feel so helpless. I cannot get to you."

"I can still drive the SUV, Christian."

"Not in your mental state, no. Absolutely not."

I look down at my shaking hands, knotting my fingers together I look back up and watch the rain pouring down the windshield.

"I don't want to take him away from Lynn. Really, let me just sit and calm down. I will drive back to you."

"Anastasia…" He sighs and I feel ten times worse because I know the mental anguish I have caused us both by my stupid clumsy ineptness.

"I feel so stupid. I knew that tree was there."

"Baby…Go in the house and calm down. "

I kill the engine. Christian has a point. I shouldn't be driving right now. "I can do that." Ducking through the rain again I rush back into the house. I plop on the couch, still wearing my now damp sneakers. My head is still spinning. I lean it back against the cushion and breathe deeply, listening to Christian's voice and concentrate on calming down.

I stay on the line with Christian for a few minutes. He tells me about Teddy's antics since he woke up from his nap and puts him on the phone to talk to me. If he's attempting to distract me from my mishap with the oak tree, it's working. When he can hear my smile again he tries again to get me to call Ray. This time I acquiesce, telling him that I will and then I am going to drive back to him. He grumbles to himself, not liking the last part, but chooses not to argue with me about it, too much.

"You surprised me you know." I tell him.

"How so?"

"I thought you were going to go thermonuclear Fifty on me."

"Ana, the first thing I heard was you sobbing. I was scared out of my mind. I thought you were in an accident and had been hurt. You will never know the horrendous things that ran through my mind. When I finally digested the fact that you had hit a tree at the end of the driveway I was relieved."

"But your SUV…"

"Vehicles can be repaired and replaced, you can't."

I smile broadly, wishing he could see my face. My Fifty has always been materialistic, loving the finer things in life. When I first met him I thought his objects meant more to him than real people did and in many ways I think I was right. That is how he was, then. Right before my eyes he began to evolve, to change, and he still is changing in so many ways. Sure he wanted to drive to Olympia for a hotel rather than stay in something much smaller, some things will never change, but his love for me is above all things. It is real and tangible. I know the trueness, especially right now.


	12. Chapter 12

Relief is what I feel when I return back to the hotel in Olympia. The valet waiting near the front entrance comes toward the vehicle as I pull to a stop in the circular drive. He opens my door and I step out.

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

I brush a stray tendril of hair, which has escaped my ponytail back from my face. I left Montesano much more composed than I was just after I backed into the tree, but I know I must look a mess. All that darting around in the rain has left me deflated and damp. Ray rushed to the house as soon as I called him. I felt terrible calling him away from Lynn and encouraged him to stay with her. He would hear nothing of it. Wanting to check on me he rushed back, ensuring me Lynn understood and even pushed him to come home to be with me. A cup of tea and some quiet time with my daddy gave me the stability I needed to drive back.

"Yes, I'm fine." I hand him the key and tell him about the dent in the bumper. I don't want him to think he damaged the car. He gives me a sympathetic smile and I walk in the hotel doors.

Inside the lobby I stop to text Ray, just as I promised I would, to tell him I have made it back safely. As I am waiting for the elevator doors to open his return text causes my phone to ping. His words are simple and few, telling me he loves me and he will see me tomorrow. He will no doubt see Christian and Ted too, each and every time he sees me in Montesano for the rest of my life. When I think of the rut Christian has probably worn into the floor of the hotel room pacing I know it will be a long time, if ever, before I drive by myself again. Well, without a fight that it is.

Standing in front of our hotel room I dig in the back pocket of my jeans for the key card and wave it in front of the black pad above the door handle. The little light turns green and I turn the handle. I step inside and let the door shut behind me.

"Mama!" Teddy calls out to me from where he is suspended above Christian's head. Christian is seated on one of the couches, holding Ted up high. No doubt they are engaged in one of their silly horseplay games. Maybe he hasn't been wearing a hole in the carpet worrying about me. Or maybe he has been playing with Ted to distract his worries the same way he distracted mine by putting him on the phone to talk to me. Our baby boy, he brings joy and light to anyone he encounters.

Seeing me Christian sets Ted on his feet and stands, immediately coming to me. He allows Ted to greet me first. Truthfully he is given no other option because Teddy runs to me, passing Christian, and wraps his arms around my legs. "Mama, back." He says and I bend down to wrap my arms around his frame.

"Yes, Teddy bear, Mama is back."

I pat him and ruffle his copper curls. He giggles and leaves me to dash back across the room. Searching through his bag on the floor near the coffee table he finds one of his trucks tucked in a side pocket and begins driving it across the table. Making his little boy noises as the truck drives back and forth in a line.

Christian reaches for my hand, hanging at my side, and pulls me to his chest. "I was so worried." He breathes into my hair. His hands run over my arms and shoulders, then up the sides of my neck. He does this repeatedly. I think he's checking to be sure that I really am unharmed. Touching me to reassure himself that I am here, safe and sound with him. His big hands rest on either side of my head and he lifts my face up to his. "I thought the worst."

"You always do."

"I know." He whispers and softly touches his lips to mine. The secure familiarity of his kiss, so faithful and pure, makes me melt into him. I lean my body, covered in damp and now chilled clothes, against him. Soaking in his warm, he is my sanctuary. "Come. Let's get you out of these wet clothes." He pulls away from me and leads me to the bedroom. Teddy follows behind us, bringing his truck with him. He is always at our heels, never interested in being without us. He sits on the floor with his truck and resumes his game.

I step out of my soggy shoes and shed my equally soaked socks. My feet look like shriveled up prunes and my toes look like wrinkled little raisins, how attractive. I peel my jeans off my body. Wet blue jeans, I hate them. Christian comes out of the bathroom, steam billowing out of the now open door. "There's a hot shower running for you."

"Thank you." I smile. A hot shower is just what I need.

"Give me your clothes and I will have them sent to be laundered. I have also lain out fresh clothes for you. What would you like me to order up from room service?"

My stomach growls, I hadn't even thought about eating until now. I haven't had anything since the pancakes at lunch. "Whatever you are having will be good." I lift my sodden sweatshirt off, followed by my t shirt, leaving only my bra and panties on.

Christian takes my wet clothes in his arms and calls for Ted to follow him. "Mama, baff?" I hear him asking Christian as they go to the other room.

Christian answers him, confirming that I am indeed taking a bath. I giggle walking into the bathroom. Christian Grey carrying laundry and answer the simple questions of an eighteen month old toddler, who would have ever thought.

**FRESH OUT OF THE **shower I feel more human than I have in hours. I towel dry my hair before piling on top of my head in a messy bun and slipping into the camisole and sweatpants Christian has placed on the vanity for me. It does not go unnoticed by me that he conveniently did not put out a new bra or panties for me. Mr. Grey loves it when I go sans panties and bra at home. Come to think of it he seems to enjoy it when I go sans panties in public places as well. I file that little tidbit of memorabilia away in my mind for future reference. I intend to reference back to it during our trip to Belize. My inner goddess has stripped off her panties and is waving them in the air enthusiastically. She likes the way I am thinking.

In the living area of the suite I find Christian and Ted sitting on the floor around the coffee table. They each have a toy truck in hand and are driving them around the edge of the table. Christian's capacity for play astonishes me and makes me fall deeper in love with him every day. The way he joins in with Teddy's make believe is a joy to see.

On the small dining table are three covered plates. The smell is mouthwatering and I know what it is before I even see it. It has been so long since I have enjoyed something so guilt laden. This is going to be delicious.

"Hi," Christian whispers, looking up he catches sight of me.

"Hi," I whisper back to him.

He sets the truck on the table and stands from where he was sitting cross legged. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much."

"Good."

"Hungry?"

"Definitely."

"Good, let's eat."

Christian uncovers each of the platters revealing the food. Two of the plates are filled with a mountain of French fries and each has a mouthwatering cheeseburger to accompany the fries. A cheeseburger and French fries, God how long has it been? My mouth waters just thinking about the salty greasy potatoes dipped in ketchup. The third plate has French fries with bits of cut up grilled chicken and a bowl of fresh fruit.

"Nack?" Teddy stops driving his truck when the aroma of dinner finds his cute little button nose.

I giggle, "Yes, snack. Come on." I motion to him. He abandons his toy and I lift him up in my arms.

"I can hold him, Ana. You eat."

"I will hold him and he and I can eat together. I've missed him today." I kiss my baby boy's cherub cheek.

I sit down with Teddy in my lap and Christian pours ketchup from one of the small bottles onto my plate. Teddy and I take turns dipping our fries in it and eating them. He happily shares bites of his fries with me even though I have a mountain of my own. There is no way I will ever finish all of this, but I will enjoy trying. The day has left me hungry and tired, but right now I am content. I have a new baby brother in Montesano and am spending the evening eating cheeseburgers and French fries with my boys.


	13. Chapter 13

Ladies, I would like to suggest a cold shower, a glass of wine or a hot rendezvous with your lover after reading this one. Enjoy. ;)

**I INHALE DEEPLY TAKING **in the scent of my clean baby boy. He smells of baby, soap, and fresh linen. He curls his toes against my stomach and reaches his arm over mine, hugging me. I draw the covers over us and relish their softness against my tired feet. The bedroom in our hotel room is dark and while I am only tucking Teddy in bed and laying with him until he falls asleep I can feel my own slumber begging to take over. My day has been a happy and eventful one. A new brother, IHOP with Ted and Christian, visiting my childhood home, backing into a tree, I definitely could have done without the last part.

"Mama, night, night." Teddy pats my arm and I close my eyes knowing that is what he is telling me to do. I sneak one eye half open and see him putting a finger to his lips. "Mama, shhhhh." I suppress my giggles and close both of my eyes again.

His patting motion on my arm quickly slows to a stop and I know he is asleep. We left Christian in the living area of the suite to do some work. I should go back and join him, but my legs are heavy and want to stay in the bad. I give over to exhaustion and am soon asleep.

**"****ANA…ANA…BABY…" CHRISTIAN'S **voice stirs me. It is accompanied by soft kisses. He presses his lips to the back of my neck, sweeping my hair out his way.

"Mmmm…" I push my cheek into the pillow. I don't want to wake up.

Persistent, he continues to kiss my skin. Trailing his mouth and its warmth to my cheek and then down my neck again. Continuing south he dots kisses on my exposed arm. "Baby, wake up."

Teddy is still asleep beside me; I reach my hand out in my bleary state and touch his cheek. His sweet skin is feathery soft beneath my fingers. His body is turned toward mine and in the light cast from the open door leading to the other room I can see he has not stirred. I twist my body so that I can see Christian. He is crouching by my bedside. In the shadows I cannot read the expression on his face and immediately my heart jumps, worrying that something is wrong.

He sees the trepidation on my face and strokes his hand over my cheek. "Everything is okay, baby. I just need you, that is all." He says, keeping his voice low. "I thought you were going to come back after Ted fell asleep."

"I was," I croak out and clear my throat, brining my voice back to a whisper. "I fell asleep myself though. I didn't mean too."

Christian kisses my lips tenderly. His kiss is insistent, his lips working against mine. He is trying to convey his need to me. "I was so scared today," He murmurs between kisses and I understand. "I need you, Ana. Please. I need to be inside of you." My throat goes dry at his amatory request. He entreats me with his mouth again, running his tongue over my bottom without touching his lips to mine. "Say yes, baby."

How can I say no? "Yes." I gasp out quietly.

Without another word Christian stands and then bends, lifting me from the bed. I can feel the tension radiating from his body to mine. It is only now I notice he is not wearing a shirt, only his jeans. I run my hand over his heart. It's steady tattoo beat is faster and increasingly urgent. The control he exhibited earlier was merely for mine and Ted's benefit. What I am sensing now is the rawest form of his emotions. I cannot imagine the myriad of horrendous situations, which passed through Christian's mind when I first called him. In a short time span of meager seconds he thought only the worst. My heart aches and feels like it could explode out of my chest. My poor Fifty, he was without me and without a way to reach me. I lift my hand to his cheek and run my fingers over his soft stubble. He inclines his face down to mine, bringing his lips to mine again, briefly, before carrying out of the bedroom. He closes the door behind us, leaving it open slightly so we can hear Ted should he wake.

On the other side of the door frame Christian flips the light switch. The room is shrouded in darkness except for the orange glow emanating from the gas fireplace. The flames dance, performing captivating pirouettes on the neutral toned walls. The coffee table has been moved back and the throw pillows have been removed from the twin sofas. They are nestled on the floor in front of the fireplace with what I assume are extra blankets and sheets from the linen closet near the bathroom. Christian must have passed through the bedroom several times to collect the blankets while I slept.

Kneeling to join me he lays me out on the makeshift bed he has prepared on the floor. I notice a bottle of champagne and two flutes resting on the far corner of the stone fireplace. More awake now I sit up and bring my knees to my chest. I hug my arms around them and watch Christian. He pops the cork on the champagne and fills the two glasses half full, offering me one.

"What are we toasting to?"

"To your new brother, Mrs. Grey." He smiles and I am relieved. He was perplexed and anxious when he pulled me from bed. I still see a hint of disquiet behind his gray gaze. Even in the shadows of the room it is evident, my mercurial Fifty. I make it my mission at this moment to help it dissipate before we both fall asleep tonight.

I smile back, "and to IHOP." I finish, remember one of my other favorite memories from today.

He grins, his all American boy smile, "and to IHOP." He clinks his glass to mine and we both turn them up to take a sip.

The champagne is sweet and crisp. I take another sip, a large sip, wanting to feel the slight lightheadedness it will bring along with it. Feeling emboldened by his earlier words,_ I need to be inside of you, _I place my champagne flute back in Christian's hand and lift my camisole over my head. A chill shivers up my spine and the contrast of that and the warm from the fire causes my nipples to tingle and harden. Christian swallows and I see his Adam's apple bob up and down. He makes me feel so wanton, so sexy. Do all husbands make their wives feel this way?

I look down at my breasts and trace my fingers over them in a ghost like touch. The amber flickering silhouettes move over my pale skin. Looking down at myself I see what Christian sees. He sees beauty. Running my fingers over my nipples I caress them, pinching and pulling them I draw out the peaks. My mouth drops open and I let out a whimper. Touching myself for him, it feels so good. The sound of glass clinking makes me look up. Christian's hands are now empty. The champagne flutes are set back where they were when I first came in the room.

"Don't stop." His voice is quiet, deep, commanding.

As told I continue my ministrations, now watching him. His eyes melt to molten lava, made even more searing by the fire warming the air around us. Christian leans forward and dips his head to my breasts. With my fingers still pinching and pulling he takes one of my nipples in his mouth. His tongue runs over my fingers and I cry out a soft mewl. He doesn't stop. Flicking his tongue, lavishing my sensitive peaks, he is never long at one breast before moving to the other. I feel an orgasm building and want so badly to grab his hair with my fingers. I want to beg him to touch me not only with his mouth, but with his hands too. I don't though because I know that is not what he wants. He wants me to touch my breasts while he tastes them. He wants me to help him make me come. So I do. I do what he wants because right now is about him, not me. I throw my head back as my orgasm shudders through my body, leaving a pool of desire and dampness behind.

Christian kisses each of my nipples followed by my fingers. "Good girl." He says in reward and places a hand behind my back, guiding me to lie back on the pillows.

I nestle my head against the comfort. He grasps my sweat pants at the waist band and I lift my bottom. He slides them down and I am naked before him. Not taking his eyes off of me Christian stands and discards his pants and boxers. My mouth waters, I want to taste him. Again, I don't ask. This is for him. Careful not to press me with his weight he comes to rest his body over mine. "I want to be inside of you, Ana. My wife, my precious, beautiful wife."

An ache is settling deep in my sex and I want him too, so much, too much. "I want you inside of me, Christian."

He kisses me, this time with more tenacity. Claiming me as his and owning me. He already owns me. Heart, mind, body and soul, I am his. "Put your hand here." He directs, guiding my hand to the apex of my thighs. I jump when my fingers touch my bare sensitive skin. Christian loves my body all of the time, but I know he especially likes it when the most sensitive part of my body is exposed completely. _Thank you Kate_, I smile inwardly to myself. My trip to the spa in California and Kate's insistence that I take it all off was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I should remember to throw away all of my inhibitions more often. "I want you to feel me when I take you, Anastasia."

Oh my, how can his words only still take me to the precipice of ecstasy? I feel him press against me and grip my hand loosely around his erection. My body is drenched. With his eyes locked on mine he does what he wants. He slides inside of me and I feel every inch of him as he fills me.

"Christian…" I whimper out his name. My tone is a mixture of decadence and pain, not so much pain, as it doesn't hurt, but intensity because he is squelching the ache within me.

"Ana," He moans my name and I lift my head to find his lips. He takes my mouth with his, pushing his tongue past my lips as he pushes into me. "This is where I want to be." He cups my cheeks and kisses me again. This time the kiss doesn't stop, it only continues. Traveling down my neck, across my shoulders and tracing my breasts.

I move my hand when he draws out and pushes into me again. His rhythm is slow as he makes love to me. I let everything fade into shades of gray around me. The only light is the man above me, taking my body and owning what is his.


	14. Chapter 14

***I know it has been FOREVER since I last updated, but I am back. Last week I had a terrible cold and it turned into a double ear infection. Safe to say it was all I could do to write the two chapters of Christian's Birthday story I wrote. I have spent most of my spare time sleeping with medication in me. A lot of you have asked if I am going to write one more chapter for his birthday story, continuing with the tantra chair, and the answer is, yes. I am writing one more. I wanted to get back to part 4 though. Also, I will add bits and pieces to Teddy's Homecoming every now and then. I know a lot of you love that story. It is on the back burner as this is my top priority. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this new chapter. I am happy to be well and back to writing.*********

**WE COLLAPSE INTO A **tangled heap of arms and legs. With his head resting against my left breast I feel Christian measure his breathing. Slowly he brings into sync with mine. Calm after our storm of passion I comb my fingers through his just-fucked copper locks. They are damp with sweat. The heat from our bodies, the fire in front of us, and our love making has left a fine sheen of glistening sweat on my skin as well as his.

"Thank you." He kisses my nipple and nuzzles his face in the valley between my breasts. I want to say something. I want to tell him there is no reason for him to thank me. I don't though. He knows how I feel and he knows I would never have turned him down. He has never turned me down when I have needed him. We are the other halves of each other's souls. Meeting one another's needs is what we do. It is a requirement, a calling we will never ignore. We never could. We will never want to.

Christian sits up and reaches for our champagne flutes. Thirstily I down my remaining champagne in one gulp. This earns me a laugh from Christian. "Thirsty, Mrs. Grey?"

"My throat feels like sandpaper. I believe it is from calling out your name and holding my breath. Sometimes it feels like…" I stop myself, my cheeks blushing red in the firelight. I turn my head and place my flute down on the stone.

He sets his flute beside mine. "Go on."

I wave my hand. "No, it's too embarrassing."

"Ana," His voice and expression are indulgent. "I am your husband, your lover. Please, don't deny me. Tell me what you were going to say. It is important to me to be au fait with all aspects of your body and your pleasure."

The seesaw in my stomach flies up and down swiftly. His words, his voice, I'll never stand a chance. "Sometimes it feels like I cannot breathe when I come. The intensity you make me feel, it nearly knocks the wind out of my lungs."

He smiles and takes my hand in his. Bringing it to his mouth he kisses my palm. "What was so hard about telling me that? You tell me all manner of things such as that when we are having sex."

"That's in the moment, Christian. I would never say those things any other time or in front of anyone else."

"No, but we're not in front of anyone else. It's just you and me, Ana." He kisses my hand again and tugs me to his lap. "For the record, when I come it feels the same way, like I'll never breathe again. In that split second I am caught in between the sensation of taking my first breath and my last."

I tilt my head up to see his face. "Every time?"

"Every time." He confirms and kisses my mouth softly. "You are my life, Anastasia."

"You are mine, Christian."

Our lips melt together again and soon we are all arms and legs again. Moving and sliding together as one.

Tiny baby toes tickle my nose. I peek one eye open and close it back immediately, resisting the daylight as it streams through hotel window. The Olympia morning waiting just outside of our hotel room is a bright one. With both of my eyes scrunched up tight I reach a hand up to touch the toes tickling my nose. My plan is to gently coax them to rest somewhere other than my face. The foot that is attached to those toes kicks softly and I hear a chuckle. Slowly I make a second attempt to peel my eyes open.

"Good morning," Christian's smile greets me just on the other side of the baby foot.

"Good morning," I mumble around the foot pressing against my mouth.

He laughs again. "He's all turned around. His head is down there and his feet, well." He points at the obvious.

I move Ted's foot from my face. "You're only laughing because it is not you who woke up with a toe in your nose."

"I can honestly say that is something I have yet to experience in my thirty years of life."

"He's only eighteen months old, Daddy. Give him time. I'm sure Ted will help you to experience waking up with a toe in your nose eventually."

Christian leans forward and kisses the bottom of Ted's feet. "And I look forward to it." Somewhere in the suite my cellphone begins ringing. I don't want to get up. Staying here curled up in bed with Christian and Ted is much more appealing. "I'll get it." Christian tosses the covers from his legs.

"No. Whoever it is can wait a few more minutes. Stay." He looks at the door leading to the living area. "It's probably just Kate. I'm sure she called the house and Mom told her I was here in Montesano."

The ringing stops and Christian slides his legs back under the covers. The pair of tiny feet resting between us move, the toes attached to them wriggling. Our eyes follow the movement to see our baby boy sit up between us. He rubs his sleepy eyes and smiles brightly. "Mama, Dada, wake." He says and lies down between us, this time it is his face we kiss instead of his feet.

I ruffle his floppy copper curls. His bedhead mess of hair is as adorable as his fathers. "Messy head." I kiss his cheek.

"Mama, messy." He reaches a hand up and mimics my motion by rubbing my hair. "Dada, messy." He ruffles Christian's locks.

Christian kisses him and tickles his bare tummy where his pajama shirt has ridden up. Teddy giggles and tries to squirm away. "Hold him, Mommy. I'm going to blow on his tummy."

"No!" Ted shrieks in delight. I know he doesn't mean it. He wants Christian to blow on his tummy. He lifts his shirt higher with his hands and Christian places his lips on our son's belly. A fit of giggles fills the bedroom. I love the sound of Ted's laughter blended with Christian's. The distinct sound of my phone ringing sounds again. I don't want to interrupt Christian and Ted's playtime. It is obvious that whoever is calling me is going to remain persistent though.

Christian lifts his face from Ted's tummy. "I'll get it."

"No," I start to get up. "You two stay and play. I'll answer the phone and order breakfast."

" 'Gain Daddy!" Ted demands.

"You heard him, Daddy, again." I nod with my head, telling him to grant our little boys wish. All too happily Christian accommodates, blowing multiple kisses on Ted's soft skin.

**"****I'M COMING, I'M COMING," **I mutter aloud to myself. Searching through my purse I retrieve my phone and slide the green arrow right just in time to answer before the last ring. "Hello?"

"Ana, darling." It's my mother and she's sniffling. No, she's sobbing in my ear.

"Mom?"

More sobbing, nose blowing. What the hell? She was doing decently yesterday. What could have happened between then and now? Dread settles in the pit of my stomach. "Yes, it's me. I hate to call you this early." I pull my phone away from my ear. I have no idea what time it is. Seven thirty in the morning, I read the clock on my phone. It is early. "Ana? Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here. I was just checking to see what time it was."

"Did I wake you? I woke you didn't I." I hear her blow her nose again. "I'm so sorry."

I plop down on one of four dining table chairs. "No, you didn't wake me. I was already awake. What's going on, Mom?"

She's silent for a moment. "Bob, he wants a divorce." A divorce? My mind reels in circles. This is sudden. I didn't think things between mom and Bob were this severe. How did their relationship deteriorate to this grave condition in such a short amount of time?

"He said that?" I ask, it is a silly question. Of course, he said it. Mom wouldn't have concocted it up by herself.

"He said exactly that. We spoke early this morning. He will stay in Europe and feels there is no hope for us."

I bite my fingernail. I love Bob; I don't want to lose him as a member of my family. I rake things over in my mind. How mom and Bob are together, the way their relationship has been since the beginning and nothing in my memory depicts him as an irrational person. There must be more to what is going on than what she is telling me. The problem is that I don't know what. I doubt she is interested in telling me either. Anything which paints Carla Adams in a less than flattering light is not something she will willingly share with the general public, or her daughter. I bite my thumbnail on the same hand, needing something to do with my mouth. I don't know what to say to my mother.

"If he would just listen to me," she huffs.

"Listen to you about what?" This could be the key to open the door, the door to figure out the truth behind this debacle.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." She covers and I know she didn't mean for me to hear what she said.

"You said you wanted him to listen to you." I'm fishing for information. Alright I'm prying and being flat out nosey. I am aware that it isn't any of my business and if Christian heard me I would get a stern look and maybe even a spanking later. My eyes flick over to the doorway, I'm still quite alone. The soft laughter of Christian and Ted floats from the other room. Teddy will want his breakfast soon. I need to end this phone call so I can order room service. We'll also need to shower, dress and get on with our day. I want to travel back to Montesano once more to visit with Ray, Lynn and Alexander before going back home. Home. Back to Seattle. Back to where my mother is staying at my house. Christian is not going to tolerate her drama. Crap, double, double, double, crap. I need to order breakfast and I need to get this crap sorted out too. Now. "What did he not listen to you about?"

Mom breathes out a heavy sigh. She doesn't want to tell me, but she does. "It was nothing really. He made a mountain out of a molehill." I listen, not interrupting. "It turns out one of the partners in his company who had already been transferred to Paris was a friend of mine in high school. We reconnected at a banquet Bob's company held one night, shortly after we arrived in France. Bob has been insane with jealousy ever since then. There's not a reason in the world for him to be jealous. It is so silly, ridiculous even. Everett and I are just friends. Bob seems to think that just because I cheated…"

She stops abruptly as does my breath. Cheated? Mom cheated? Is she actually admitting to it? The one thing I could never believe about my mother and she has just blatantly admitted to it. By accident albeit, it is evident the words slipped out of her mouth. She never meant to let them escape to me. That doesn't change anything though. She has cheated. I don't know on whom or who with, but I know she has done it. My stomach churns and I think I'm going to be sick. I need to end this phone call, now.

"Mom, I hear Teddy calling for me from the other room." Great, I just lied. Does that make me any better than her? "I need to go. We'll be home later today. I'll see you then, bye." I hang up and feel terrible the minute I do. I rushed off the phone and never even gave her a chance to say goodbye. Gah! I'm a terrible daughter.

I pick up the room service menu and use the hotel phone to call down and place our breakfast order, two orders of pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, coffee, milk, English breakfast tea and a small bowl of fruit salad. The woman on the other end tells me to expect our breakfast in twenty minutes. Enough time to take a quick shower and put the phone conversation with my mother out of my mind, at least for the next few hours. I will have to tell Christian what transpired before we get home. He has a right to know what kind of hornet nest we may be walking into.


	15. Chapter 15

**"****CHRISTIAN GREY, SOMETIMES YOU **are too much." I cannot believe my eyes when my Saab pulls around to the front of the porte-cochere. With Ted in my arms I walk through the revolving hotel room doors. "When did you? How did you?"

"Taylor." He responds without incident. As if the fact that our dinged up SUV has now been replaced by my Saab overnight is no big deal.

"Taylor?"

"Yes, Taylor, and Sawyer. They came in your Saab and took the SUV back with them. It will be fixed today and waiting for us when we return home."

"Today?" When I was in high school and Ray was involved in a small fender bender with another car it was over a week before his car was back from the auto body shop. "Doesn't it usually take longer than a day to fix a car?"

He shrugs, "For most people I guess it would." The parking valet opens the driver side door, hops out and hands Christian the keys. He thanks the young man and takes Teddy from my arms. I open the backdoor all the while musing at what the right amount of money really can do. I'm not shocked really, I've seen plenty of times over the past few years what a little extra money can do for you. I guess it still floors me sometimes. I don't know if I will ever be one hundred percent use to the extra perks it provides.

**WE DRIVE DIRECTLY TO **the hospital from Olympia where we spend the majority of our afternoon. I don't say anything to Ray about Mom's latest news. It doesn't seem right to burden him with her problems. While they do get along her personal life isn't any matter to him anymore. I remember when they divorced how happy I was that they were able to still communicate in an affable manner. Thinking back, Ray was never bitter with Mom. If she had cheated on him wouldn't he have been at least a little acrimonious with her? My subconscious shakes her head at me, _not Ray_. He would never hold a grudge against anyone, no matter how much they had wronged him. He isn't that kind of man. Maybe he is where I get my conciliatory disposition from. I've always been the peacemaker or the avoider. Evading turmoil is a strong suit of mine. I don't like it when my world is turned topsy turvy and neither does Ray. Yes, we are most definitely alike in that way.

**CHRISTIAN TURNS THE KEY **in the Saab's ignition. I buckle my seat belt and settle back in my seat, ready for the drive home. Leaving the car in park, Christian turns his body slightly in his seat to face me. He looks apprehensive. "I have something to show you. Just hear me out before you say anything, okay?"

"Okay…" I say, drawing the word out longer than the one short syllable it actually takes to say it. "What is it?"

"You'll see." He turns back to face the windshield and puts the car in reverse. We leave the hospital and drive through town until we are on Main Street. I see what he is talking about the minute we are on Main Street North, the red white and blue for sale sign is telltale. Has he really?

He parks the car on the curb in front of the soft green colored two story house. "I haven't bought it." He starts and I look from the house to him. I have always loved this house. The wrap around porch and the white picket fence charm me with their elegant yet simplistic delights. "Yet." He adds. He's watching my face, trying to gauge my reaction.

"But…" I say, wanting him to continue.

"I've arranged for us to see the house this afternoon and if you like it…"

"You'll buy it."

"Yes. We can have a house close to Ray, Lynn and your baby brother. A place of our own to stay when we come to visit, it will eliminate the need to drive to Olympia for a hotel room."

I peel my eyes from the house and stare at Christian in disbelief. A house in Seattle, Escala, a home in Colorado, the apartment in New York, and now he wants to buy a house here in Montesano just so I can be closer to my family? He _is_ too much. He is honestly too much. _Why not just stay at Ray's when you visit? _My subconscious, unable to understand why Christian refused to stay at Ray's, puts in her two cents. She's right. We can always stay at Ray's. "Christian, this is too much." His face falls and I feel bad. His heart is in the right place, it always is. "We can stay with Ray when we come to visit. You heard Lynn invite us to come for a late Christmas dinner on the twenty sixth."

He sighs and looks down at the steering wheel. "There is no need for us to burden them, Anastasia. We can buy this house and stay here when we come. It is less than five minutes from your father's house." _Anastasia_, he is not happy with me, he used my full name.

"I don't want to insult Ray, Christian. I grew up in his house; it was my home before I married you. The only real home I ever knew with as much moving around as I did when I was a child."

"Can we look at it and at least talk about it?" Not wanting to be unreasonable I agree.

The house is everything I ever thought it would be. Six bedrooms and four bathrooms, the kitchen has been updated and the owners choice of crisp whites mixed with sea blues gives the home a bright feel. I am in love with it. I run my hand along the dark wood chair rail running through the den and formal living area while the realtor drones on and on about the gardens and school district. I guess seeing Teddy with us she feels it is needed for her to inform us of the schools. The same schools I went to. Through the floor to ceiling windows in the kitchen I observe the back yard; it really is as beautiful as she describes it to be. Even in the barren winter months I can appreciate what it will look like in the spring. Still, I don't want to upset Ray. Buying this house will somehow make me feel like I am outdoing him. Like I am sticking my nose up in the air at the way I was raised. We finish the tour of the house in the foyer and thank the realtor kindly for taking the time to show us the house. I assume Christian is exchanging contact information with her as I am buckling Ted in the car. What am I going to do? Not only do I have to tell him about my mother before we are back in Seattle, but now I have this to mull over.

**"****WHAT DID YOU THINK?" **Christian asks. We are on I-5 going north, back to Seattle. He has been quiet until this point. After a sippy cup of milk and two graham crackers Ted is fast asleep in his seat. If he sleeps until we arrive back home I am sure Gail will have supper waiting for us. "About the house." He prompts when I don't answer him right away.

"It's beautiful." He glances at me and then back at the interstate in front of him. "I love the thought of it, Christian. I really do." I steal a glance at him and his lips are pressed in a thin line. He's not pleased with the direction this conversation is going. "It's just a lot to take in. How much is the house?"

"Anastasia, you know money is not an issue." There's the use of my full name again.

"I know that, how much? I still have a right to ask and know."

"Half a million." He's so nonchalant. Oh, half a million, mere pocket change. I snort to myself, but cover it up with a cough. Now I really do feel like I'll be putting Ray and his house down. It's one thing to live in the ostentatious house in Seattle; it's a whole other to buy something that expensive in Montesano.

I go for the truth. I need to do it anyway considering I'm about to have to be truthful about my mother too. "Christian, I wouldn't feel right buying the house. Buying something that expensive right under Ray's nose would make me feel like…like…oh…I don't know…like I am putting down the way I was raised. Ray's house is perfectly fine for us to stay in when we visit. I want you to come and stay there with me after Christmas, it's important to me. You weren't able to come when Ray and Lynn were married. I want you to come, please. I know it's not up to the standards you are accustomed to, but it is a comfortable home. Please."

"I'm not sure how you've twisted this around to think that I am trying to rub my money in your father's face."

"Christian Grey," I start out loud, but quickly tone my voice down. I don't want to wake the sleeping baby in the back seat. "Don't you dare put words in my mouth. I'm only telling you how I feel. I will think about it, okay? I want you to respect my decision though. After all, it would be to visit my father."

He purses his lips and takes one hand from the steering wheel, running it through his hair. He's exasperated and trying not to become angry. At the rate this conversation is going, the one after it is going to be a real doozy. Finally he nods his head. "I can live with that."

"Good." I reach for his hand which is now gripping the steering wheel again. He relinquishes it to me and I run my thumb over his knuckles. "I love you and I love your thoughtfulness." I do. As over the top as he is sometimes his heart is always in the right place. Okay, go time. It's now or never. "There's something I need to tell you before we get back home." His eyes flick to me briefly. I speak fast because I can see the instant clouds of trepidation forming. "My mom called this morning. She was the one calling my cell phone. I spoke with her before I ordered breakfast." I proceed to tell him a detailed recollection of the phone conversation I had with my mother. I leave nothing out, including everything right down to the moment when I hastily hung up on her. I still feel awful about that. All credit to him he listens intently, never interrupting me. When I am done I note that he is not running his hand through his hair and then realize it is probably because I am still holding his hand in both of mine. If he were to run a hand through his hair he wouldn't have one to hold onto the steering wheel with. _Good thinking, Grey_, my subconscious hangs a medal around my neck. She's proud of my quick thinking. _Quick thinking_, a chortle, I just received a medal for something I didn't do. I didn't even remember I was holding his hand. It was all by coincidence. Or maybe he held onto my hand to keep himself calm, in that case my subconscious should be awarding the medal to Christian instead of me. Yep, he's definitely still holding my hand to calm himself, the motion of me running my thumb over his knuckles changes. He is now running his thumb over my knuckles.

"And where is your mother now?" He asks, speaking only after I am finished talking.

"She is still at our house, to my knowledge." Who knows if she is still there? After the way I hung up on her she may have already left.

"Did she give you any indication that she may be leaving?"

"No, but the way I ended the conversation so abruptly was not nice or called for. I'm afraid she may have left." It will make me feel terrible if she is gone when we arrive home. As much as I don't want her drama and I agree with what Christian has already told me about how I should not take on her burdens she is still my mother. I love her and I care about her.

"I doubt it." He scoffs. I hear the hint of sarcasm behind his words. Well, maybe not a hint. His words are simply dripping with sarcasm. This is not going to go well. Two disagreements in one day, maybe we do need that trip to Belize. A trip to get the hell away from the rest of the world, except for my baby boy, I will miss him. He would love staying with Grace and Carrick though.

Surprisingly Christian does not say anything more on the subject. He's stewing about it as well as about the house in Montesano, I know it. I let him stew, seeing no reason to add further turmoil to our already tumultuous drive home. The rain is picking up, making traffic less than desirable. I see Christian glance up in the rearview mirror. "He's still sound asleep." He squeezes my hand. "Why don't you sleep too, baby?" I yawn and relax back in my seat. I was thinking about closing my eyes for a few minutes. Christian turns the music up and a soft melodious piece of music plays through the car.

"I think I will."

"Good," He squeezes my hand. "You were up late last night."

"It was the excitement of having a baby brother that kept me up… and my husband."

He pulls one my hands up to his lips and presses them firmly to my knuckles. "Both were events well worth losing sleep for."

"That they were, Mr. Grey." I close my eyes to rest and don't wake up until we are driving through the gates at the big house.


	16. Chapter 16

Hungry as a bigbear, my little Teddy bear tears out of arms when Taylor opens the front door for us. I have no doubt he is running in the direction of the kitchen in search of a 'nack.' "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, it's so good to have you home." Taylor takes Ted's small bag from my hands.

"Thank you Taylor. It's good to be home." I smile at him. He takes my coat from my arms as well.

"How were things with your family?" I love how personable and kind Taylor is. I knew he was a good person when I first met him. One must have impeccable patience and kindness to work as closely with Christian as he does.

"Good, great."

"Taylor, please unpack the car and pull it to the garage." Christian takes his coat off, handing it to Taylor who is already standing beside him, ready for whatever orders Christian has for him. "And how are things coming along with the SUV?"

"It has been taken care of, sir. Sawyer picked it up early this afternoon."

"Good, thank you."

"Will there be anything else, Mr. Grey?"

"Nothing at the moment."

Taylor nods and goes out the front door to unpack the car. I shiver in the warmth of the house. The damp chilled air outside seeps in the foyer until Taylor closes the door behind him.

"Cold?" Christian steps up to me and wraps me in his arms, rubbing his hands up and down to warm me.

"My nose is cold." I bury my face in his sweater. Through its softness radiates his body heat. If only I could just stand here instead of going any further and facing my mother. I cannot believe I hung up on her. I feel like an errant teenager who is about to be scolded for behaving badly.

"Ana, Ana darling is that you?" Right on cue I hear my mother's voice calling my name.

"I need to go talk to her." I lift my face from Christian's chest.

He kisses my now, not so cold nose. "I will go see how Gail is coming along with dinner." He's so calm. Should I be worried? Is this the calm before the storm? I suppose the strength of the storm really depends on how things go between my mother and I in this initial interaction after my return from Montesano.

I hear her call my name again and know that I should answer. Her voice is calm with a thread of concern. How is she not angry with me after the abrupt end to our phone conversation? Can she have forgiven me? I think back to the tiffs we would get in when I was a kid. Granted they were never anything out of the ordinary, just a mother and daughter trying to navigate life together. Nothing I ever did or said was enough to make her not forgive me. That's what parents do, forgive their children. Unconditional love, I feel it for Ted, and I'm sure he will test it a time or two as the years go by. _A time or two, you do remember who his father is?_ I catch my subconscious' drift and nod in agreement with her sage words.

"There you are," Mom gives me a soft smile, finding me standing in the foyer just as Christian leaves. "Did you have a good trip home?"

"We did. It rained the entire way." I shrug, "But its December in Seattle, so what else is new." She laughs uncomfortably. We both start to speak at the same time. "Mom, listen I…"

"Ana, listen I…" She pauses when I speak in unison with her. "Go ahead." She says indicating that I should continue while she listens.

"I'm so sorry I hung up on you like I did." I apologize for my hasty act. The act I have been regretting ever since I hit the red button on my phone and ended our call this morning.

"Ana, there's no need to apologize. I know what I was saying couldn't have been easy to hear. Heck, I shouldn't have been saying it at all." She rocks on her heels and fidgets with her hands, knotting her fingers together she fixates her gaze on them.

"Yes, there is. You are my mom and I should never have disrespected you that way. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she whispers and I think I see unshed tears shining in her eyes.

"Can we go talk in the family room while we wait for dinner?" I volunteer.

She nods. "I'd like that."

Passing by the kitchen I can hear Teddy chatting excitedly about a banana. Christian must be feeding him a pre-dinner snack, a banana appetizer. I love the way his baby chatter and giggles fill this house. Their jubilant sound is what makes our house a home. The undisturbed enormity of it was filled with life the day we brought him home. Listening to Christian and him talk and play makes my heart ache briefly. Another child would breathe even more delight into our home. Unconsciously my hand goes to my belly, soon I hope. I catch myself and draw it back up before I allow any time to wallow. Christian does not want me stressing or concentrating on this, I shouldn't, so I won't.

Mom picks up a book discarded in the chair near the roaring fire. She folds a small triangle in the corner of one of the pages to mark her place. "I was reading while waiting for you." She explains, closing the book and resting on the table beside the chair.

I catch a glimpse of the cover of the hardbound book. Pale peach, the title in pink lettering and a black and white sketch of a castle among a patchwork field in the English countryside. "You were reading _I Capture the Castle_?" It was one of my favorite books when I was a teenager. I can remember reading it cover to cover over and over again, soaking in bit of Cassandra's story. What teenage girl doesn't want to engulf herself in a story about first love? It was only made better by its setting, a castle in England, and Cassandra's desire to be a writer. The author spoke to me just as Bronte and Austen had, I loved it.

Before sitting she touches the cover of the book. "I didn't know Christian had such an expansive library. I remember buying this book for you when you were fifteen. Though, this copy is much grander than the simple paperback I picked up at the bookstore."

I sit on the end of the loveseat facing her chair, the end closest to her. "I loved that book, I still have it."

"You do?" Her eyes light up.

"I do."

"This copy must be much older than yours."

"It was published in 1948." To anyone else it would seem that the small talk taking place between us is getting us nowhere. On the contrary, this is how Mom and I are with each other after an upset. I ease into the conversation as does she. We are on neutral comfortable ground, which is good because I know the conversation to come promises to be difficult for both of us.

"An original edition?"

"Yes."

Mom looks back to the book, picking it up she flips through the first few pages. "I'll be darned. Did he buy this for you?"

"For my birthday, the year Ted was born." I grin remembering how Christian found my tattered paperback copy as I unpacked boxes upon boxes of books when we first moved into the house. I sat in the middle of a mountain of books and boxes. Barely an inch of the floor in our new library was not covered by some sort of book. He argued with me at first about my insistence to put away each book on my own, adamant that the movers would do it. When he saw me there and how in love I was with the library he had had built especially for me he quitted his demands.

She places the book back on the table. "The library you both have is wonderful. Of all the times I've been here I've never taken the opportunity to explore it. I guess having an endless amount of quiet time alone leaves one to roam and thumb through a multitude of books. I think I've read three just since you left for Montesano." Is this guilt? I chastise myself; don't get your feathers up Grey. She could just be talking, stop reading so much into her words and concocting something that isn't even there. "How was everyone?" She changes the subject.

"They were great. Lynn and Alexander will go home tomorrow." I look down at my fingers and notice that like my mother I am knotting them together. Nervous learned habit.

Mom takes a deep breath before speaking again. When she does the polite small talk is gone and it's down to business. "I want to finish what I was telling you on the phone." I start to speak and she holds her hand up. "No, I want to tell you. Bob thinks I cheated on him with Everett. It's my own fault he thinks this way. My old offenses are coming back to haunt me. I'd hoped they wouldn't, but then I suppose our past always finds a way of catching up to us. Ana, I cheated on Ray. That's why our marriage ended and its why Bob is finding it so hard to believe me."

I swallow back tears. I love my mother, but Ray. He is a good man and deserves better than to be cheated on. My gut instinct is to fight at her. Tell her how angry I am with her for cheating on the only father I ever knew. The tears at the backs of my eyes sting, partly tears of sadness and partly tears of anger. I clench my hands into fists and feel my fingernails dig into my palms. _Easy there tiger_, my subconscious pets my arm. _They divorced years ago and this was between them, not you. If Ray has forgiven her then there is nothing for you to judge. There never was anyway. _As much as I hate to admit in the heat of the moment, dammit she's right. I release my grip, relaxing my fingers away from my palm. Was it husband number three that she cheated on him with?

"I know you're angry." She says and I just sit there, dumb, listening to her. "And I know you must be wondering who the other man was. It was Stephen." She confirms my unspoken question. "I thought I paid the piper for my unfaithfulness to Ray when Stephen cheated on me, but apparently my full penalty was to be paid years later." She sniffles and I stand to fetch a tissue for her from the box resting on the sofa table. She takes it and wipes her nose and her eyes. "I never cheated on Bob. He won't believe me though. I put myself in a bad situation and I can see how it must have looked to him. Everett and I are just friends." She blows her nose again. "I don't know what to do." Her last words come out as a garbled sob.

I feel tears running down my cheeks, dripping off my chin they are soaking the collar of my sweater. I don't know if I'm crying for my mother and her floundering marriage, for the terrible marriage she had to husband number three that I was forced to endure until I escaped back to Montesano, or for the broken home she created when she cheated on Ray. I want to tell myself that Ray would not have Lynn now or Alexander if none of this had happened. He wouldn't have found the happiness without what he went through with my mother. I know this is true. I'm not crying for Ray. I'm crying for myself. It's my frustration with my mother. I put my hand to my head. Why oh, why must I always be the mature one, the one to pick up the pieces for her? Can't I just be the daughter for once? I love my mother, but at times like this she is maddening. Not caring to fetch a tissue for myself I sniffle and wipe my tears on the sleeve my sweater in a very unladylike manner. I realize I have yet to say a word, unsure of what to say I continue to sit and cry.

"I don't know what to do." My mother repeats, drowning in her own tears. She continues to wipe her eyes with her now soaked tissue. Bits of it crumble off like lint on an old sweater, falling to litter her lap.

"Go home." I jump, startled by the low authoritative words spoken behind me. Christian. I stand and turn to see him just as I see my mother look up from where she has been indulging herself in self-pity. My heart is in my throat. Oh no. This is not good.

"Christian," I start in an attempt to diffuse the situation. I expect him to stalk past me and confront my mother, but he doesn't. Instead he comes to me and pulls me to his chest.

He nestles his face in my hair and speaks against my ear. "Are you alright?" He's concerned for me.

"I'm fine." He pulls me back and hands me a handkerchief from his back pocket. I use it dry my eyes, all the time wondering just how much he heard. I plead with him with my eyes to let me deal with my mother. "Christian, you and Ted start dinner."

"No. Mrs. Taylor has him for now." He releases me and turns to my mother. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is not good. "Carla, as you are Anastasia's mother I have the utmost respect for you. You are my mother-in-law and grandmother to mine and Ana's son. However, I will not have you upsetting our home." His tone is even keeled, but not to mistaken for benevolence. "You are welcome here and will continue to be. You are a part of our family. You are not welcome to bring upheaval with you. I will not have my home or my family upset."

"Are you kicking me out?" Mom looks between Christian and I. "Anastasia Rose, are you going to stand there and allow your husband to kick me out?" Fuck. I'm going to be sick. My stomach churns. My nausea made worse by the fact that I am hungry.

"I will not have my son exposed to this needless turmoil, Carla." Christian completely ignores her question. It is eerier how composed his demeanor is. If I were my mother I would be terrified, the calm before the storm. Maybe she is.

"I'm not exposing my grandson to anything." Or maybe not, she attempts to debate with him. Don't do this Mom. Please don't do this with fifty. I touch Christian's arm. If I can't conciliate her at least I can try diffusing from this end. His eyes remain locked on my mother. He isn't budging on this.

"You are upsetting my home, thus exposing my son. You will not upset my wife either. This matter is not up for debate. You have a home in Las Vegas. I am sorry you and your husband are going through whatever trials you are experiencing, but it is of no matter to Ana or me. I wanted to allow you to work through this with Ana." With each word his tone grows more threatening. "You will not add stress to her. I will not see my wife upset. My home will not be disturbed. I will have Taylor take you to Sea Tac in the morning, my plane is at your disposal." He faces me, effectively dismissing my mother. "Mrs. Taylor is serving dinner in the dining room." The intimidation falls away when he speaks to me.

Tears are still streaming down my face, refusing to stop. I look back at my mother and see her turning to walk away. Dammit. "Mom," I call after her. She raises her hand behind her to stop me from speaking and walks out of the room. I stomp my foot in frustration as a new set of tears breech the surface and flow.


	17. Chapter 17

***I love how you all had differing opinions on Christian wanting to buy the house in Montesano and I love how you had differing opinions on what occurred between Christian and Carla. All of your reviews and thoughts on the matters help me, guiding me as to what direction things will move in next. Of course Christian and Ana tell me their story, but reading your reviews always helps to validate whatever direction the story is going. Thank you for being awesome readers! I love you all.*********

Thunderstruck by what just happened I don't move. My feet are stuck and it feels like my shoes are filled with lead. I'm torn between following my mother and trying to reconcile situation with her or staying here with Christian. Christian. I understand why he interrupted. He heard the turmoil, he saw me crying. He has also put me in a very bad place by telling my mother to leave. I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. What side do I choose? Is there a side? Is there a right choice to be made? My head hurts, it is pounding from my tears and the anxiety coursing through my body. The fire hisses and pops behind me and I fixate on the sound of it. Hiss. Pop. Crack. Hiss. Pop. Crack.

"Ana," Christian touches my arm. Gently he tugs me to follow him. When I don't move he tries again. "Baby, come. Mrs. Taylor has dinner waiting."

In a sudden movement I jerk my arm from his grasp. My impetuous move and will surprise even me. "No." I keep my eyes fixed on the empty doorway my mother just retreated through.

"Excuse me?"

I look back to him. "No. I need some time Christian. Please, just give me some time." I sob and turn away from him. Forcing my leaden feet to move I dash out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Christian's footfalls are quick and come closer behind me. He's calling my name and I know he will catch up with me before I make it to our bedroom.

"Anastasia, stop." He reaches me midway up the staircase. "Look at me." I shake my head and cast my eyes down to my shoes. "Look at me I said." His strong hands encase either side of my head, forcing my face upward.

"Christian, please." I close my eyes. "Please go and have dinner with Ted, he must be wondering where you are." Please allow me to and lick my wounds in peace. My mother has just revealed a startling dark piece of her character to me and I need time to digest it on my own. I need time. I just need time.

"He's wondering where you are too."

"Go to him, I'll be fine. I'm going to take a shower."

"You need to eat." His pleading voice changes, this is a command he will not waiver on.

"I will, later."

"Now."

I lift my arms in front of my body and push them out to the sides, forcibly removing his hands from my face. He nearly stumbles back from the sheer force I just exhibited. My unwavering blue eyes meet his steely gray. "I said later." I growl under my breath. "Now. Let. Me. Pass." I am aware how cruel my tone sounds, but in this moment I don't care. I don't care about anything but getting away.

"Fuck." He mutters and runs his hand through his hair in exasperation. I take the moment of weakness for granted and dash past him. He doesn't follow me.

**WET FROM MY SHOWER, **I am cold lying in my damp towel on top of my bed. I shiver. I should get up and finish drying off, or dry my hair at least. I should put on some dry clothes and get under the covers. I don't. Instead I lie here. I play the conversation with my mom this morning over in my head. When I'm tired of doing that I put the conversation we had in the family room on repeat. Hearing every word she said and the ones Christian said. Neither of them allowed me the opportunity to get a word in edge wise. I was told what happened and then I was essentially told what was going to happen. This is my home too. How dare Christian kick my mother out! _He's right you know_, my subconscious whispers. She's not her usual confident snarky self. Her suggestion is a timid one. I think even she's taken aback by today's events. I wish I could take it all back for everyone. I wish none of this had ever happened and if it did have to happen I wish my mother had never brought it to my house in the first place.

With the corner of my towel I wipe away another tear as it falls. I need to call Kate. She'll know what to do. I want to talk to my best friend and get her neutral advice. She isn't involved in this situation personally. Yes, I need to call Kate. Resolved in my decision I am sitting up to reach for my phone when I remember it is downstairs, still in my purse which is in the foyer. Crap. I do not want to go down there right now. I don't want my baby boy seeing me upset. Even if I can stop crying my face is swollen with puffy red eyes and my nose looks like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. _It is not a good look for you either. Fucking reindeer._ My inner goddess wipes his eyes, wishing the tears would stop. My body shudders away a sob.

Facing the closed door I see the knob turn and click. The door opens, Christian. He is balancing a silver tray in one hand while opening and then closing the door behind him. "I brought your dinner up." He sets the tray on the bed near my feet. As cross as I want to be with him I have to admit that whatever is under the dome smells delicious. "Ms. Windham cooked tonight. She made salmon croquettes."

My mouth is watering. I struggle to sit up and cross my legs. "It smells divine."

Christian smiles and moves the tray in front of me. When he removes the dome my nose is inundated with enticing aromas. Not only did she make salmon croquettes, there is roasted asparagus and a citrus salad accompanying them. I reach for the utensils and unfold the white linen napkin in my lap. Hungrily I dig in right away. I was hungry before this entire hullabaloo started and I am famished now. The look of satisfaction which crosses Christian's face when I take my first bite of asparagus does not go unnoticed. We sit in silence while I eat, devour my meal. I am nearly finished with my final croquette when he speaks.

"I'm sorry." I watch him. "I shouldn't have spoken to your mother in such an abrupt manner. I was out of line and I upset you more than you already were. That was not my intention."

Finished eating I place my utensils back on the tray along with my napkin and move it aside. There is nothing between us. I crawl to Christian and he welcomes me into his lap with open arms. I hate fighting with him. I hate not being near him and never want to feel a wedge between us.

"Ana." He breathes and clutches to me as though he is afraid I will get away. He rocks me gently and I let him. I know how much it took for him to come and apologize.

"I wish none of this had ever happened."

"Me too, baby."

"I mean with my mom too."

He kisses my hair. "I know."

"You were right, Christian. I may not like the way you told my mother to leave, but you were right. She does need to go. She needs to go home or back to Paris. She has to either fix her marriage or move on and whichever path she chooses she must do it on her own."

He lifts my chin up with his index finger. "You agree with me?"

I nod and tears come to my eyes. My eyes are so raw from crying, I wish the tears would cease. "Hearing her admit to how she and Ray's marriage ended…it was so hard. It hurt. It was like experiencing the demise of my stable childhood home all over again." I clutch to his sweater and feel the steady sway of us moving together. Back and forth, the motion soothes me, lulling the ache in my heart away.

"Let me dry your hair." His fingers comb through my wet locks, separating them into strands.

"Okay." Christian releases me to sit on the bed and fetches my hairdryer and brush from the bathroom vanity.

Before starting the hairdryer he kisses each of my shoulder blades. "I will apologize to Carla." His mouth presses to my now dry skin again. "I promise."

"Thank you." I whisper hoarsely. He runs the brush through my hair and our thoughts are drowned out by the roar of the hairdryer filling the room.

**"****KISS MOMMY GOODNIGHT, SON." **Christian holds Teddy up in his arms. I kiss his soft cheek and he turns his face to allow me to kiss the other side.

"Udder cheek, Mommy." He says offering me the other one.

"Mommy? Did you hear him, Christian? He called me mommy instead of mama!"

Christian chuckles, "I did hear him."

"Mommy, tiss lips." My baby boy puckers his lips and I cannot deny him. I kiss him goodnight there too.

"I love you sweet Teddy bear."

"Mommy, hug." Now he's really playing up the new 'mommy' thing. Little show off that he is. I could eat him up. I kiss him three more times on each cheek and on his lips.

"Sweet dreams, baby boy."

"Do I get a kiss, Mommy?" Christian puckers his lips and I kiss them too.

"Mommy tiss Daddy."

"Oh, now you're really showing off." I tickle Ted's tummy and he giggles.

The teapot on the kitchen stove whistles. "Would you like a cup of tea?" I offer Christian as I lift the pot by its black handle and pour the steaming hot water in my cup. I drop my tea bag in to steep. Breakfast tea weak, chai, I prefer it a tad stronger.

"Tea?" Teddy questions.

"Bed for you Teddy." I answer him with another tummy tickle. "Tea, Daddy?"

Christian steals another kiss. "No thank you. I'm going to read to him before I tuck him in. I'll see you upstairs."

I am watching my two boys leave the kitchen, the big one carrying the little one, when my mother appears in the doorway. "I'm…I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude." She stammers and quickly turns to leave.

Abandoning my steeping tea I rush after her. "No, Mom." I touch her arm and she halts her steps. "Stay, talk with me." Her eyes shift to mine and then to Christian. He has stopped too and is watching us. When their eyes make contact he subtly nods his head at her, his expression is soft. Has he apologized to her yet? I don't think so. Even if he hasn't he is showing some recoil now in a somewhat subtle way. Mom blinks and shifts back to me. "Would you like some tea?"

She gives me a curt nod. "Sure, thank you." Teddy's giggles grow further away and I know Christian is taking him upstairs.

I retrieve another cup from the cupboard. "Chai?"

"That's fine."

I take a tea bag from the deep red box resting on the counter and drop it into the empty cup. I fill the cup with water from the kettle. "I take milk and sugar in mine. You?"

"Same."

With my mother sitting one of the high backed stools at the bar I prepare our teas. She's fidgeting with the black placemats. Running his fingers through the fringed edges she separates a section into three bunches and begins braiding them. I place her finished tea in front of her and take a seat on the stool to her left. This is not going to be easy. I haven't the foggiest notion how to start this conversation. The silence of my soon-to-be sleeping home surrounds us. I want to dissipate the haze of unrest which has fallen over the kitchen, but I don't know how or where to begin.


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been writing sporadically. This past weekend was the July 4th holiday, America's Independence Day, and I have been spending time with family. Thus, not writing as much. I am back now from a wonderful and much needed break with the ones I love. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. I'm spicing it up a bit and sailing some uncharted 'waters.'

Slowly but surely Mom and I navigate our way through our usual small talk. To start dialogue is only chit chat about what teas we enjoy having and how to take them. She's feeling things out between us and so am I. We rarely argue. _Perhaps that's because you fold easily to her, remember your college graduation?_ My subconscious has been all to present today and is tapping her pink slipper at me, her hands are on her pajama covered hips. _What was I going to do about her not being able to come to my graduation? Bob was injured, drop it and move on. I have. _I fire my own retort back at her and she shakes her head muttering something about 'still making excuses.' I ignore her.

We navigate our way through our casual colloquy until we find ourselves bathed in a foreboding silence, both knowing what topic we need to address next but neither of us wanting to. Mom stares down into her empty cup. Picking up a spoon from where it rests on the napkin in front of her she stirs nothing. The metal clanks against the ceramic like a bell chiming, signaling that time is almost up. "I'm leaving tomorrow." She stops stirring and places the spoon back on the napkin. Her blue eyes, identical to mine, look up and I see no tears. I am surprised.

"Mom, you don't have…"

"Yes, yes I do." Her eyes cast down briefly then back up. "Christian's right, I can't continue to stay here and burden you with my marital troubles."

Wow. I swallow hard, not quite believing what I am hearing. Deep down I knew she would go home, but I didn't think it would be with this level of agreement and understanding. I hate for her to leave on bad terms. _You've just had an amicable conversation, how is she leaving on bad terms? _Tired of hearing from my subconscious for the night I shut her bedroom door in her face. The only one of the two I care to hear anything else from is my inner goddess. She's got make up sex on her mind and that is the only she has on her mind. It's understandable though, she doesn't exactly think with part of her body which is north of the equator. "You could stay another day." I volunteer. I don't want her to feel like she is being kicked out of my house. I would never do that and Christian shouldn't have either. He knows that now. I just hope he conveys that to her.

"No. I really should go. I've booked a flight out to Las Vegas first thing tomorrow morning. From there I'm not entirely sure where I will go, but at least going home is a start."

"Christian said you could use his plane."

She shakes her head. "I've taken enough from you two already."

"At least let Taylor drive you to the airport." This time she nods, accepting that part of the offer. She's stubborn sometimes; at least I come by my stubbornness honestly.

I finish my cup of tea and take it along with Mom's to the sink. I rinse them and leave them there until morning. I am too weary to even entertain the care to wash them tonight. I am drying my hands when Christian's voice causes me to turn my head.

"Carla," He calls to my mom. She stands near her stool; we were both heading up to bed. "I'd like to have a private word with you, if I may?"

"Certainly, Christian."

I duck my head as if I am dodging a projectile object. I don't need to be here for this. Christian and Mom watch me as I leave the room. It is after I am past the doorway that I hear them start their conversation. The first words are an apology and they come from Christian's mouth. I smile to myself. Things are being peacefully righted.

**"****HI," CHRISTIAN CLOSES OUR **bedroom door softly behind him.

I let my book fall to lean against my drawn up knees. "Hi." He pads across the bedroom floor and sits on his side of the bed, crossing his legs in front of him. "How did it go?"

"How much did you hear?" He smirks, smart ass. He thinks he knows everything.

"For your information Mr. Smarty Pants I only heard the words 'I'm sorry' in your voice. I did not stick around to eavesdrop on your private conversation with my mother."

His smirk fades to a smile. "It went well. She told me I was right and that she needed to go home. I don't think she has entirely forgotten my abrupt manner, but I'm out of the tall weeds anyway. For the record, I do hope everything turns out well for Bob and her."

"Me too."

He leans forward and feathers his fingertips down the side of my face. "I'm sorry I put you in the position I did."

"You've already apologized, there's no need to rehash."

Gray sincere eyes burn, "There is. It was a despicable thing I did. I am ashamed of my behavior."

Turning my attention away from him I close my book and discard it to the bedside table. I bring his hand back up to my face where he let it fall away from. "It wasn't your finest hour, but you're entitled to mistakes Mr. Grey. We all are. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes."

"You're so wise, Mrs. Grey."

"I think it's the college education."

"I think you had it long before that." He kisses my lips.

"There is something you can do if you would like to apologize further for your transgression."

His sincere gaze fades and slowly burns to gray flames of fire. He knows what I mean. "You mean make up sex?"

I nod and take his hand from the side of my face. Keeping my eyes on his I watch the gray fade to dark shades. In turn I take each of his fingers in my mouth, starting with his thumb. I suck them, allowing my tongue to swirl and flick them. My eyes flutter down and I see how much he wants me. The front of his jeans expands. Fuck. I kiss each fingertip. "That is exactly what I mean. I want make up sex."

He growls low in his chest and I am flat on my back with his crawling on top of me. "Oh, Mrs. Grey. That was a given. There's no need to request it."

**AT AN UNHURRIED PACE **Christian makes love to me. He takes care to dote on each square inch of my body, leaving no space untouched by his wondrous mouth. First he gives attention to everything above my waist. Tantalizing me, making me wait for what I know is to come. His kisses are slow and his tongue darts out to taste me. Before coming to rest between my legs he trails his tongue up each of my legs. Feeling his soft stubble against my chins causes a chill to run through me.

"Cold?"

I shake my head. "Quite the opposite."

He grins wickedly. "So soft. So beautiful." He murmurs, his fingers graze my sex. With his face between my legs this view is all he can see of me. His eyes are locked on his fingers. He watches them while he moves them up and down, petting my bare skin. I clench my hands in the tousled sheets and blankets, bracing myself for the overwhelming feeling that I know will wash over me with the first touch of his mouth. "Easy, Ana." His fingers still caress. "You're wet, so wet." I touch his head and he moves forward, just close enough to touch me with his tongue. "Sweet….mmmmmm…." His tongue traces the outside of me. "Just a taste," he whispers and I nearly come undone.

"Christian!"

"Tell me what you want."

"You're tongue."

"Where?"

"Inside of me."

"Inside of you where? Your mouth?"

Gah! He's impossible. I'm writhing and ready to come unsewn at the seams and he's always so cool. Teasing me is his favorite game. "There." I point my finger to my sex, dripping and ready.

"Where is there?"

He wants me to say the word? What do I say, what word? All manner of names and words come to mind. We've never used any of them. In my twenty-four years I've heard my mother and doctor use the correct anatomical term and Kate use some which were not anatomically correct at all. Some of her choices I find to be downright vulgar. I cover my face with my hands; endless words for vagina run through my head. When did Roget's thesaurus become so dirty?

"Where is there?" He prompts again.

I take a deep breath. "My pussy." That one doesn't sound nearly as bad as some of the others.

"What did you say?" Oh dear God! Did he not hear me or is he just trying to get me to say it again. His tongue skates up the middle of my sex.

"My sex." I try again with a more anatomically correct term, this time my voice is louder, more confident.

"You'll have to be a bit more creative than that." Maybe he did hear me the first time? "I know you can be." He most definitely did. "Come on baby, speak louder." He pulls my hands down from my face. "Uncover your face and look at me. Where do you want me to lick you?" He asks the question slowly so as not to be misunderstood. I understand you perfectly, Christian. I'm just fifty shades of embarrassed right now.

Game time, it's now or never. I draw my bottom lip in between my teeth nervously and release it. "Lick my pussy, Christian." I say, looking him dead in the eyes.

He moans and rewards me with his tongue. First licking my skin before pushing it inside of me, the heat of his mouth makes my toes curl and my back arch off the bed. His tongue twirls, tasting all angles of me. He flicks it against my clit and slides two fingers inside of me. "I love the taste of your pussy, Mrs. Grey. You may have a dirty mouth, but your pussy is…Oh. So. Sweet."

I want to tell him that I only have a dirty mouth because of him. I wouldn't have said what I have if he hadn't prompted me, but I don't.

His fingers flick madly against the spot deep inside of me and I come undone. I put my hand to my mouth, gasping for air. Swirling in an orgasmic oblivion I cry out his name around my fist. Tears spring to my eyes and I know I cannot come any more. I've lost count. My orgasms are running together in one long chain of ecstasy. "Enough." He breathes hoarsely and kisses my delicate skin once more. "I need to be inside of you." His lips touch mine and I taste myself in and on his mouth as he pushes in, stretching me. He fits me perfectly. "I've loved you with my mouth, now I will love you with my body."

I wrap my legs around his waist and reach down to cup my hands around his fine derrière. With my hands I push him further inside of me, coaxing his motions. I want him as deep as he can go. I want to be as close to being one with him as I can possibly be.


	19. Chapter 19

**I AM COMBING MY **fingers through Christian's just fucked hair. It has grown longer over the winter months. Hmmmm…it will need to be cut before our trip to Belize, cutting Christian's hair, one of my favorite pastimes. The ends curl under themselves giving him a permanent tousle to his locks. In the dim light I take time to appreciate his hair, one of the many things I love about him. As a girl I always wanted red hair, not the boring brown I was blessed with. I also wished for curls and went to extensive lengths to achieve them. Most of my attempts ended with me having one or two burns from a curling iron. My clumsiness knows no bounds.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He lifts his head marginally, shifting so that his chin is nestled between my breasts. His eyes are sleepy and replete. Good sex will do that to a man. _Good?_ My inner goddess scoffs. _Try amazing, sensational, mind blowing and out of this world! _ She does have a point.

"I was admiring your hair."

"My hair?"

"Yes, I always wanted red hair when I was younger and curly hair. My straight brown hair was mundane and run of the mill, nothing exciting to see."

"Don't young girls always want the hair they don't have?"

"How very perceptive of you, Mr. Grey, yes you are spot on with your observation. Tell me, how is it that you came by this savvy piece of knowledge?" I continue running my fingers through his hair.

He grins widely. "Mia. She always wanted curly blonde hair."

"But her hair is so beautiful." I love Mia's dark hair.

"Yes, and so is yours." He reaches a hand out and touches a lock of hair just above my breast.

"Touché."

Turning his head to the side he lays back down. I kiss the top of his head and feel his smile against my chest. "What was that for?"

"Just because I love you, you bring me out of my shyness and make me feel beautiful."

He returns my kiss by pressing his lips to my right breast. "You are beautiful and as for your shyness, what I heard tonight was not a shy woman."

My cheeks heat. "I was shy. I have never used that word before."

"I figured as much."

"Kate talks that way all the time, but I never have."

He chuckles. "Baby, with my brother as her husband I guarantee you she has used many dirty words, probably dirtier than you could ever imagine." Another kiss to my breast. "What you said tonight was so sexy." I blush deeper. "I love hearing you tell me what you want. I love seeing you touch your body, the way your body responds to my touch, and hearing how much you enjoy it when I pleasure you."

"We aim to please, Mr. Grey." I answer with confidence in my voice. Christian gives me the courage to do all of those things.

"You stole my line, Mrs. Grey." He sits up with a fake wounded look on his face.

"So I did, and what are you going to do about it?" I challenge him, knowing what he will do about it and wanting it.

I yelp in surprise when he grabs me around the waist and flips me. He pushes my knees up underneath me and smacks my bottom playfully. "Oh my dear, Mrs. Grey, you are about to find out."

**THE PALE LIGHT OF **morning bathes our room giving promise to another gray day. I could shiver from the thought of the air outside alone if I wasn't wrapped in the warmth that is Christian Grey's body draped over mine. In his sleep he pulls me closer by hooking on of his legs around both of mine. I move only my head to the side, straining to see the red numbers on my alarm clock. Eight in the morning, I rub my eyes and look again. Surely I miss read the clock. Ted has never slept this late. Nope, I was right. It is eight o'clock. I struggle to free myself from Christian's grasp, waking him up in the process.

"What is it, baby?" He rubs his eyes sleepily and yawns.

I reach for the baby monitor and check to see that it is still on, it is. "It's eight and Ted is not awake yet."

Christian props himself up on one elbow and rubs my arm with his hand. "Calm down, he's probably sleeping in because the sun is masked by the clouds."

I mentally calculate the day of the week in my head, since Alexander's birth my days have been running together, the trip to Montesano having thrown me off. "It's Monday, why aren't you going to work? You didn't set the alarm?"

"Baby, it's the second week in December. Work is slow and rightfully so with the holidays coming. Ros is off for the remainder of the year. Andrea has kept our schedules light. I plan on going in, but am in no rush to do so." He kisses my exposed arm.

"Oh." I look worriedly down at the silent monitor. "I'm going to go check on him, just a peek. I won't wake him if he's sleeping." I pull back the covers and get out of bed.

"You should put some clothes on first." Christian smirks. Ah yes, my state of undress. Last night was full of lovemaking and very little sleep. It's probably a good thing Ted is sleeping late and Christian did not set the alarm. I slip into a nightdress from my closet and wrap one of my silk robes around myself.

In the hall the aroma of bacon cooking swirls up the stairs from the kitchen. Bacon and, I sniff again, pancakes. I hear a jubilant squeal from my little boy; it comes from downstairs as well. Did Gail fetch him from his bed? It is highly unlikely, she would never impede on our privacy unless Ted was in distress and I never once heard him cry over the monitor. At a hurried pace I walk down the stairs.

"Mommy!" Ted squeals and dashes from where he has been playing trucks with my mother on the floor in the great room.

I wrap him up in a hug. "Good morning, baby boy."

Mom stands, still holding a yellow dump truck in her hand. "I hope you don't mind, Ana. He was awake when I passed his nursery. I peeked in on him and he was sitting so quietly in his crib, fiddling with his blankets. He gave me the biggest smile when he saw me."

I release Ted to go back to his legion of trucks and airplanes. "I don't mind at all, thank you."

"I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him before I leave."

I nod. "Is Gail cooking breakfast?"

"She is pancakes and bacon per Master Teddy's request."

"If know my Teddy there will be bananas too."

Mom laughs, "Bananas in the pancakes to be exact."

"Nana takes!" Teddy claps. The little eavesdropper, he's been listening to our conversation the entire time. Playing with his trucks and planes to feign disinterest in our conversation. I'm not surprised; he's always interested in anything having to do with filling his little tummy.

Soon Christian joins us downstairs and we all sit around the breakfast table together. Whatever unease we all felt last night has faded away. I am grateful. I never want my Teddy to sense unrest among his family members. I want him to grow up surrounding by stability and love. Christian and I are alike in this way. What we want for our son could not be more the same. I know this is why Christian was abrupt with my mother yesterday. Watching him now, the way he talks with her and visa versa, I think she understands where he was coming from. He did not want turmoil in our home, around our son. I hope she understands. I cannot imagine her not understanding. I think back over my childhood and know she wasn't always one hundred percent perfect, but then no one is. However, as a young girl I never knew the extent of her flaws and that is how it should be. Children idolize their parents. They should never have to idolize someone who is not worthy of their love. Carla Adams is more than worthy of my love. Her intentions and her heart are always good. It is just that her methods get out of sorts sometimes. Watching three people who I hold dear to my heart eat their breakfast of banana pancakes and bacon I pray the next time we are all here together that Bob is here too.

**MOM'S BAGS ARE PACKED **and sitting by the front door. Christian shakes her hand and says his goodbyes then holds Ted up to give his Grammy kisses. Wrapping his little arms around her neck he hugs her and I think I see a tear run down her cheek, but she dashes it away quickly.

"Is this everything, Mrs. Adams?" Taylor steps in the front door from pulling the car around.

Mom releases Ted and kisses his cheek once more. "Yes, thank you Taylor."

He lifts her bags. "Ready when you are ma'am." He goes to load them in the SUV. I steel a peek out the front door at the SUV. It looks as good as new, no evidence whatsoever of my little debacle with the tree in Ray's front yard. I breathe a sigh of relief. Darn tree, I am never pulling in or out of that driveway again. I will remain forever a passenger when it comes to leaving or arriving at Ray's.

Christian takes Ted to play in the family room, giving my mom and I some privacy. "Have a safe trip." I hug her.

"I will."

"Call me when you get settled at home?"

"I will." She pulls back from our embrace. "I'll be back at Christmas?" Her words are more of a question than a statement.

"Two weeks." I clarify the amount of time between now and Christmas. "Yes, we will see you here at Christmas." She smiles broadly as if a huge weighted question has been lifted off of her chest.

We hug once more and say goodbye again before she leaves out the front door. I stand to the side of the door and watch the SUV pull away through the narrow pained glass windows which frame the front door. I watch until the black Audi SUV is no longer visible, having been consumed by the low lying fog.


	20. Chapter 20

Two weeks until Christmas. In two weeks our home will be filled with family and everything good which comes along with the holiday season. Food, games, décor, warmth, love and laughter, I hug my arms around myself giddy at the prospect. With a smile stretching ear to ear I go in search of Ted and Christian. Only I stop dead in my tracks after taking two steps. Two weeks until Christmas. Today is December ninth. I count backward on my fingers; eighth, seventh, sixth…sixth…the sixth was on Friday. My subconscious nudges me with her elbow. She's holding up two boxes, one in each hand, one claiming to show two pink lines and the other claiming to tell you digitally. Holy cow, how did I forget? Alexander was born, I was distracted, and that's how I forgot. _Or_ _it could have been all of the hot office sex_, my inner goddess offers. She never disappoints.

We have had more than our fair share of sex over the past month. On Christian's office desk, in the R8 a few times, once while it was parked in the garage. Thank God none of the security team came out of the house during that escapade. It was one of my favorites; I'll have to make sure we do that one again. In the pool, on the _pool_ table, my inner goddess loved that one. We had to christen the pool table here at the big house, as we've already christened the one at Escala numerous times. Yes, we been rather active over the past month. _You've been at it like bunny rabbits_, my subconscious snarks. She is not nearly as amused by our zeal for all things sex with Christian as my inner goddess is. _Yes, but bunny rabbits get the job done_, my inner goddess adds. She is definitely on her toes today, must be from all the sex last night, mentally I high-five them both, the snarky one and the horny one good job girls. My period is three days late. My stomach drops for an instant. Three days late. My smile slowly makes its return.

My gut reaction is to snag one of the boxes from my subconscious and run as fast as I can to the closest bathroom, but I don't. I'm going to take my time. I want to be sure before I tell Christian. I allow myself a few more moments to fantasize about telling him. He'll be over the moon elated. _He'll also be worried and handle you with kid gloves_, my subconscious reminds me. Shit…shit…shit. Will he let me go to Belize if he knows I'm pregnant? Probably not, now my subconscious is rolling her eyes at me. There is no way in the world he will let me go if he knows I'm pregnant. If I am…. If…If… Here and now I decide to take a test before we leave, but not to tell Christian until we are safely tucked away on our own private island. When are we leaving anyway? I must ask Christian and confirm with him before buying a test. That is my first mission. My second mission is getting a test and taking it without him knowing.

**WITH A BIT MORE **pep in my step I follow the voices of my two boys. I expect to find them in the family room. In my mind I can already see them engaged in some sort of play. Trucks, horseback rides for Teddy courtesy of Christian, Christian pushing Ted around in his helicopter, the possibilities are endless. The one thing I don't anticipate is that they are not in the family room, instead they are in the great room. Christian rummages through one of the three large boxes near the Christmas tree, each time he reaches in he produces another ornament and places it in our son's hands. With is brow furrowed in deep concentration Ted listens to Christian instruct him as to where the ornament should go on the tree. If the ornament is to be placed within Ted's short reach he helps him to hook it around the branch, if it is to be placed higher he lifts Ted in his arms.

The dim fog laden morning causes the white lights on the tree to sparkle brighter than they usually would in the light of day. Rain pelts against the windows, but inside the lights shimmer in my son's eyes. Unable to resist I leave them and scurry to Christian's study to fetch the camera. When I return I stand far enough back so that I am undetectable and snap shot after shot of Christian helping Ted decorate the tree. They are both so meticulous in their efforts.

"Mrs. Grey," I turn to see Ms. Windham standing behind me. "Would you like me to arrange a fire in the fireplace?" Her voice is hushed, she must know I am spying on Christian and Ted and do not wish to be exposed.

"No, thank you. I'll see to it."

"As you wish ma'am, I'll just be getting to my house duties then." She smiles sweetly and I thank her.

I snag a few more pictures of my boys before closing the lens cap. Their attentions turn to me when they hear me place the camera on the sofa table. "I think Mommy's been spying again, Ted." Christian whispers conspiratorially to our son.

"Guilty as charged." I would do it again in a heartbeat. The moments I just captured are priceless.

"Mommy, look tee. Daddy, tee!" Teddy point excitedly, moving his finger in a swift motion as though he is trying to show each of the ornaments he has hung to me all at one time.

"Are you helping Daddy decorate the tree?"

"Mommy too." He grins widely. I love his smile.

Digging through the second box Christian retrieves a simple white box. I know what it holds. "Would you like to hang this one?" He opens the box and hands me a silver heart. I hold it and run my fingers over the swirls of pink diamonds. The ornament he gave me for our first Christmas together. Are we really celebrating our third Christmas together? Some days it seems impossible and others it seems that I have known Christian my entire life.

"I would be honored." I kiss the front of the ornament and gently place it on the front side of the tree. "Perfect." I say to myself. The phone rings and I move from my place in front of the tree to answer it.

Christian stops me. "Let it ring."

"It could be…"

"I don't care who it is."

"What if it's work?"

"So what if it is? I'm the CEO, I can take a day off with my family. Let Mrs. Taylor or Ms. Windham take a message."

"I thought you said you were going to work today?"

"I've changed my mind." He pulls me close and kisses my lips softly. "Today I'm going to stay home with my wife and son. We're going to decorate our Christmas tree, together."

My heart warms and swells. "Sounds like the perfect day, Mr. Grey."

"I was hoping you would say that." His gray eyes shimmer down at me. The lights on the tree have the same effect on his eyes as they do on Ted's. Wrapping his arms around my waist he draws me to his body. Through the thin fabric of his shirt I feel his muscles ripple. "I'll go build a fire while you and Ted continue hanging ornaments." In his arms I cannot help thinking that he could be holding not only me, but our baby too.

I squeeze his biceps. "I love watching you build a fire." I smirk and he smirks back down at me.

"You can reward me for my _hard _work when our son takes his nap in a few hours." He emphasizes the word hard. He kisses me swiftly and releases me.

"Mommy, dis." Teddy holds up his tiny reindeer ornament, telling me this is the one he wants to hang on the tree next. Shaking it he laughs in delight at the jingle of the red bell on the reindeer's nose.

"Do you want to hang it high or low?" He points to a spot right on his eye level and I help him loop the hook around the fir trees branch. He stands back and claps in delight at his job well done. I laugh, "Come on Teddy bear, we have a bunch of ornaments left to hang."

"Yay!" He claps his hands. When did he learn all of these words? My little man, he's growing up so fast.


	21. Chapter 21

I am thankful for ladders and tall husbands. If not for the two of them our tree would only be half decorated. Make that half of the tree would be fully decorated. Christian hangs the very last ornament close to the top while I fidget with the gloss red ribbon which twirls its way down the tree from the top.

"Finished." He steps down from the ladder and stands back to admire our handiwork. Joining him I admit to myself it is beautiful, magical even. Our tree is what every child pictures in their minds eye to find on Christmas morning, minus the gifts of course. They will come soon enough and I know they will be plentiful. If not from Christian and me, then from our families, Teddy is spoiled by everyone. With one arm around Christian's waist I let my other graze over my belly inconspicuously. I hope there are soon two babies to spoil, three for Grace and Carrick with Kate and Elliot's daughter.

The bottom branches rustle and the low hanging ornaments rattle. "Brrrmmm…" Ted comes out from under the tree driving one of his trucks.

Christian chuckles and releases me to grab our baby boy. "No playing under the tree young man." He half admonishes Ted.

"Daddy, tiss." Ted offers his puckered lips to Christian. He is the master of distraction.

"He's got you wrapped around his little finger, Daddy."

"Then you are wrapped around the other one, Mommy." Christian beams and places Ted back down to play.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, where would you like lunch served?" Gail comes out of the kitchen holding a tray of food and from what I can smell, cookies.

I look down at my state of dress, then to Christian and Ted's. We are all still in our pajamas. "I suppose it is lunchtime. The day got away from me. Here will be fine, Gail."

She places the tray on the coffee table and arranges three plates complete with utensils and napkins around the tray. "I've made sandwiches, fresh fruit and some cookies."

"It looks wonderful, Gail."

"Eating on the floor around the coffee table?" Christian takes a seat to my left. He stretches his longs legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. I take a moment to admire him. How casual and domestic he looks sitting on the floor in his pajama pants and gray t shirt.

I spoon fruit onto a plate for Ted and tear his turkey and ham into small bits along with a slice of bread and cheese. "Why not? It's lunchtime on a Monday and we aren't even dressed yet. Our biggest accomplishment of the day has been decorating our tree with our son."

Ted drops his trucks and dashes over to the table as fast as his feet can carry him. "Nack!" He grabs a slice of ham and puts it to his mouth, stopping before he eats it. I watch his gray eyes explore the tray, searching over all of the food Gail has provided for us. They light up like Christmas when he sees what his heart desires most. "Tookies!" He squeals and reaches for a sugar cookie shaped like a snowman.

"After your lunch. Sandwich first." I take the cookie and place it on his plate then point to the now forgotten about sandwich pieces and fruit.

"No, no, no, Mommy." I bite my lips and turn my head to hide my smile. He wags his finger in front of my face telling me in all seriousness that he will eat his cookie first.

I steal a glance at Christian who is attempting to hide his smile too. Our son makes it hard to be firm when he is so adorably adamant about what he wants. "What do I do?" I mouth to Christian and he shrugs. He mouths something back to me and I think it is 'cookie first,' but I'm not one hundred percent sure. Even if it is, Teddy does need to eat his lunch. I look back to my little man, so determined in his plight. It's not really a plight at all for him. There is no dilemma in his eyes. He has his mind already made up, he wants his cookie first.

"Teddy," I cover the cookie with my hand. "Eat your sandwich first, and then you may have your cookie."

His bottom lips puckers out and trembles. He's not really going to cry, but he is giving an academy award winning go at pretending. I steal a glance at Christian and darn it if he is not mirroring his expression to Ted's. Gah! These two are impossible. "Christian Grey," I hiss at him under my breath. This only makes him poke his lip out further.

"Come on, Mommy. It's not every day we decorate our Christmas tree. Just this one time won't hurt." He pleads.

I shake my head and laugh. "You two are absolutely impossible, two peas in a pod."

I move my hand and Christian reaches for the snowman cookie. He breaks it in three pieces, giving Ted the top hat adorned head. "Three pieces, one for Teddy, one for Mommy, and one for Daddy." He bites his part of the cookie while Ted bites into his. Teddy's satisfied smile is so big that crumbs of cookie coat his pink lips. "Now we each had a small taste instead of Ted spoiling his lunch with one big cookie, better Mommy?"

"Acceptable, Daddy." I mutter knowing there is no way around these two. He leans over and kisses me. His lips taste like Christian and sugar cookie, delicious. I could bottle this taste and sell it as a lip balm.

"More, tookie?" Ted asks having devoured his piece.

"After lunch." Christian pops his last bite of cookie in his mouth.

"Nack, Daddy." Will he ever not call a meal a 'snack?' He picks up a piece of ham and toddles over to sit in Christian's lap. I move his plate to sit beside Christian's so that he can reach it. Together they sit in front of the roaring fire, each in their pajamas; Ted's are adorned in sailboats, Christian's not so much, and enjoy their simple lunch. My day could not possibly get any better.

**RUBBING HIS EYES TED **yawns; he is making his final attempts at staving off naptime. I know he is tired. Giving up is not something he does easily though. "Mommy…" He pats my breast with his chubby fingers, trying to distract my attention away from the book I am reading to him. "Mama…no…" I smile softly at him. He is working hard to keep himself awake.

I keep the steady back and forth sway of my rocking chair and kiss the top of his copper curled head. "Where is the boy who looks after the sheep? He's under the haystack fast asleep." I feel another pat, this one is softer. He's drifting off. "Will you awaken him? No not I. For if I do he's sure to cry." My last word is barely audible. "Finally, asleep." I say to myself. He's curled up in my arms and I cannot resist kissing his forehead where a lock of hair has fallen across his brow. Christian is not the only one who could use a haircut. Am I ready for Teddy's first haircut? So many firsts over the past year and a half, but then his life will be full of them. There are so many to come.

I bend slightly to the left and set his Mother Goose book down quietly on the floor and stand slowly without jostling my sleeping baby. "Sleep tight my Teddy bear." I kiss him and lay him in his crib. Out of habit he reaches for his brown teddy bear in his sleep. I take it from the corner of his crib and place it in his arms. A final yawn escapes his lips and I know he is completely asleep.

**CHRISTIAN IS ON THE **phone in his study when I go downstairs to find him. He seems deep in conversation with someone about something. The something and someone have to do with work, I can tell by the tone in his voice. He has the same determined expression as Ted did earlier when he was working to decorate the tree. Deciding to leave him to his work I go back upstairs. I haven't showered at all today and while lounging in my pajamas has been nice a fresh set of clothes will be nice as well. My hand is on the handle for the shower when my cell phone begins ringing in the bedroom. I sigh and temporarily abandon my quest for a shower to go in search of it.

It is ringing and nearly buzzing off my bedside table when I reach it. "Hello?"

"So you are still alive?"

Kate. I sit on the edge of the bed. "Yes, I am still alive."

"I tried calling you earlier. It's been a few days since I've heard from you. I didn't get my weekly Friday call of you checking up on Ava and me." Ava, my beautiful niece, I know I've only seen sonogram pictures of her, but from those alone I can tell she is a perfect doll. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms, three more months.

"I would have called, but Friday was a busy day. Lynn had the baby."

I hear talking in the background and what I think is Kate shuffling the phone from one ear to the other. She must be at work, Kate the constant workaholic. Elliot jokes that she'll have the baby on her lunch hour and be back to work by one o'clock that afternoon, I'm not sure my prediction of the future differs that much from his. "That's nice…wait…what did you say?" Her voice turns to a high pitched squeal.

"Lynn had the baby." I repeat.

"You're smiling; I can hear it in your voice. Congratulations big sis!"

"His name is Alexander Daniel and he's perfect." I know I'm gushing, but I don't care. I've never had a sibling to gush over before. Even if he's my stepbrother, no brother in the history of the world will ever be as loved by his big sister as Alexander already is by me.

"Of course he is, with Ray as his father he would never be anything but perfect."

"I cannot wait for you to see him. I'll send you a picture as soon as I get off the phone. I have tons of them."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. The poor child probably thinks you're a member of the paparazzi instead of his sister. Imagine that, you are a big sister, and soon to be an aunt."

"How is my precious niece doing?" I imagine Kate rubbing her belly.

"Good, kicking the crap out of me is what she's doing. Elliot says we've got a little soccer player on our hands. I don't care what sport she wants to play when she grows up. I just wish she'd stop taking early practice so seriously." I hear an 'umph' over the phone and know Kate just sat down in her office chair.

"Make sure you're resting."

"Jeeze, you sound like my mother."

"Good, listen to us both."

"I will. So, what are you doing tomorrow? I was hoping we could have lunch sometime this week."

"I can do that. Tomorrow would actually be the best. Christian and I are going to Belize later this week."

"Belize? When did this happen?" She's shocked and I don't blame her. It was a surprise to me too. The more I think about it, a wonderful surprise.

"He asked me at the end of last week if I would like to go. We'll only be gone a few days."

"Sounds heavenly, I could do with some sun and sand time, but alas, I am chained to the Kent Reporter. I'll be in Seattle tomorrow doing a story."

"So, I'm just a side thought. You're here for work first and then me?" I rib her, she knows I'm joking.

"Nonsense, I took the job because it would get me to Seattle and lunch with my best friend."

"What time do you want to meet?"

"I'll text you in the morning when I know the details." I chew on my thumbnail. Should I tell Kate about my suspicion? No. I'll tell her tomorrow at lunch. I'll use that time to fill her in on all things Carla too. It should make for an interesting lunch hour, or two. So much has happened I'm not sure I could cram everything in to just one hour. "Listen, I've got to run. These people are driving me bananas. I'll text you tomorrow, k?"

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

We end our phone call and I drop my phone to the bed. Now, I'm going to take a shower. I undress and drop my clothes where I am standing. Hot water and fresh cleanliness, here I come.


	22. Chapter 22

*I hope you all are enjoying the frequent updates as much as I am enjoying writing them. Thank you for reading and for reviewing!*

I turn my face up to meet the water falling like rain from the showerhead above. The heat of it feels so good. I squirt a dime sized dollop of shampoo in my left hand and bring them both up to my head. Enjoying my own massage of my scalp I work the shampoo into a veil of white lather. My brown hair is covered in the scent of jasmine. I rinse and begin the same process with my conditioner. Leaving it in my hair to moisturize I lather and shave first my right leg and then my left. There is something to be said for a long hot shower from which you emerge smooth and clean during the cold months. How in the world I spent so many years not caring whether my legs were shaved during the winter is beyond me. Now I cannot imagine not having smooth legs every day of the year. Maybe it is because before Christian I never had cause to care if my legs were shaved or not.

Leaning my head back I rinse the conditioner from my hair and reach for the detachable showerhead on the tile wall beside me. Using it I rinse the leftover shaving cream from my legs. I reach for the clean wash cloth hanging on its hook and am interrupted by Christian's hand on mine. His palm covers the back of my hand. His fingers splay in between mine. "Let me." He kisses my shoulder and I shiver. The air outside the shower door is cooler than the warm humidity surrounding me.

I relinquish the cloth to him by slipping my hand out from under his. In his other hand I catch a glimpse of a bottle. He leaves it on one of the tile shelves. I don't know what it is and I don't both to ask. I am too enamored with the feel of Christian's heated skin against mine. His hair is wet and he has yet to put his head under the shower. He closes the glass door behind him, ending the cool breeze from creeping its way into my tropical oasis. "You've been working out?"

"I have. After taking care of a few things at the office remotely I spent some time in the gym. I came up here hoping to coax you into a taking a shower with me. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I found your satin nightdress discarded on the bedroom floor." He kisses my other shoulder and squeezes some of my shower gel on the cloth. He guides me so that my front is fully accessible to him and washes me completely, my neck, breasts, every part of my front is clean.. "Rinse." I step to stand under the shower and watch the soap run in streams down my body. "Turn." I do as I am told and he begins to wash my back after adding more soap to the cloth. Christian moves the cloth in small circles on my back. I sigh, a wash and a massage. A girl could get used to this. "Relaxed, Mrs. Grey?"

"Hmmmm…" I hum my approval and am rewarding with a kiss to each cheek as he kneels behind me. I flutter my eyes close, but not before noticing his hand move up to my right and retrieve the bottle he brought in the shower with him.

His fingers move over my bottom, down the middle of me. "I want to play, Anastasia." Two more kisses. "Do you want to?" From the feel of his erection pressing into my belly and my behind I knew we were headed in this direction before our shower was over. I was unaware that he wanted this though. I hear the bottle cap flip open and he slides one lubricated finger in my bottom. I tense at the intrusion. "Easy, baby, do you want to play?"

Now that I've got the sensation I push back on him, welcoming another finger. I hear him set the bottle on the shower floor. "Yes, I do." I am rewarded with a third finger and his thumb as it draws circles over my clitoris.

"I intend for this to be quite intense." He explains. "If at any time you want me to stop just say so and I will."

"Okay." Intense, how? How much more intense than usual when we play this way? It's always intense. What is he planning to do to elevate it?

His fingers leave their place and he picks up the bottle, applying more of what I now know is lube to them. He slides them back in and begins to push them in and out of me again. He twists them, opening me, readying my body to accommodate his. With my hands pressing against the tile I push back on his fingers. If the shower wall was not made of solid tile I think I could leave my handprints here.

Christian nips each of my hips. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." I gasp and when he removes his fingers I am briefly aware of the hot water beating down on me in torrents. Christian has the power to make me forget everything, where I am, who I am, what is happening around me, everything. I forget everything except for him and the way he is making my body feel when his hands are on me.

"Leg's apart." He parts my legs with one of his and grasps my hips. "Tell me if it's ever too much." He says and I know it is not a question, but a command. His erection nudges into me and I nod my head frantically in agreement with his demand while gasping for air. "Easy, Ana. Breathe."

In my head I count to three and calm my breathing. He pushes forward until he can go no more. My body is full and splitting at the seams. "Christian." I mumble a somewhat audible verbiage of his name. Still holding my hip with one hand he slides out of me leaving only the tip of him inside before pushing back in again. His other hand reaches for the detachable shower head in front of me. He points it down and clicks the small steel dial on the side, changing the setting on it. The water now streams out of it at a beating pace. It all becomes clear. I brace myself against the tile with my hands and plant my feet firmly on the shower floor. I strive to feel all of my toes, my heels and the balls of my feet bearing down on the floor. I know I need to brace myself as much as I can for what is about to come.

Christian brings the shower head down to my sex and holds it where he wants it. The water surges upward at a driving force and hits my clitoris. "Fuck!" I cry out. My first instinct is to close my legs or jerk away. My nerves are bombarded by the power of the inundation between my legs.

"That's it baby, let me hear you." Christian groans and even through the swirling stickiness of the hot shower I can feel his breath against my neck. He kisses me, his mouth open. His tongue licks the water droplets from my skin. "You feel so fucking good." He speeds up his thrusts and I know it won't be long. My body is tightening and I know I am going to turn inside out. I have to, I cannot stand this onslaught of pressure and pulsation any longer. "That's it, tighten around me, Ana. Let me feel you come."

I throw my head back. With my eyes and mouth closed I let the water hit my face. Faintly I hear my own soft mewling sounds, they sound desperate to my ears. My insides tighten and clench around Christian and I want to tell him to stop and to keep going all at once. At the height of my pleasure he pushes in hard and deep, his heat mingles with mine and he cries out my name.

The shower head clanks against the tile and Christian pulls out of me. We fall in a heaped mess on the floor. My entire body is shaking inside and out. The intensity of what Christian just did to my body still rolling through me like an unrestful river.

**"****WHAT BROUGHT THAT ON?" **After what feels like an eternity I found my voice. The water is still warm so I know we haven't been sitting on the shower floor for long.

"Are you complaining?"

"Never." I turn and kiss his lips. I wince slightly, a bit more than tender below my waist. "When are we leaving for Belize?"

"You still want to go?" He kisses my nose and shifts to pull us out from under the direct down pour. I nod and return his kiss on my nose with one on his. "How does Thursday sound?"

"Wonderful, not soon enough."

He gives me a soft sated smile, the smile of a satisfied man. "It will have to be. Mom is working through Wednesday. She has a four day weekend starting Thursday and is more than happy to watch Ted for us."

"Good. I know he loves being with his grandma."

"That's because she spoils him."

"You're a fine one to talk, Mr. Grey."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He over exaggerates, feigning offense.

I arch an eyebrow at him. "Oh really? Does the word 'cookie' ring a bell with you?"

"Fair point well made as ever, Mrs. Grey."

I smile, happy to have made my point. "You know we can't sit here in this shower forever."

"I'm quite comfortable." His erection stirs underneath me.

"I feel that. Stand up, let me wash you and then we can move to our bed. We may be able to get one more round in before naptime is over."

Christian smirks and pinches my nipple. "Oh my dear, Mrs. Grey. We can get two more rounds in before naptime is over."


	23. Chapter 23

***This chapter is a bonus continuation of the story from Christian's POV. A reader and reviewer brought up the fact that Christian is very attuned to Ana's body and may already know she is pregnant. I loved that suggestion and thinking back to Part 3, he knew she was pregnant before she did. So, I decided to run with that idea and thus, this chapter was born. It is merely a short tidbit of Christian's POV, but I think it does the idea justice. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing. Getting in Christian's headspace is something else. ;) Now excuse me while I go and change my panties.****

_I roll Ana's taut nipple between my fingers. Keeping my touch light I elicit a sought after whimper from her lips. Her breasts are tender, full, and her faintly blushed pink nipples are darker, she's pregnant. She may not be aware of it yet, but I am. Her body changed instantly when she became pregnant with Ted. Knowing now what I didn't know then there were so many signs pointing to the obvious. The way her breasts swelled, spilling over the lace fringed cups over her bra, the sweet taste of her on my lips, her sensitivity to my touch and constant insatiable appetite for sex. It was more so then than any other time before. Her needs grew and changed with her pregnancy, they were different as were her responses to my body. A slim frisson of fear brushes down my spine. No. I will not give into it. She breathes my name in a long chain of repetitions, incantations imploring me not to stop, declaring her level of arousal. I oblige her requests and bend my head to suckle her. At a slow and unhurried pace I draw her orgasm from her core. I may have pushed hard and deep in the shower. Not now, inside her sex my strokes are measured, hastened by nothing. She will come the way I want her to come, the way her body needs her to come. _

_Her mouth is slack. Lips I love to kiss form a perfect 'o'. I watch her blink her clear blue eyes open, shifting her gaze down she locks her eyes with mine. I press my lips to her nipple and supporting myself on my elbows I move to kiss her mouth. This is love, making love to my wife. "So responsive my beautiful girl." Her heated wetness coats our skin where we are joined. "What number are we up to now?"_

_"__Two." Her voice quivers. "Four total, one from the shower and one from the counter." _

_"__Good girl." I kiss her deeply, sweeping my tongue through her mouth. Her ankles cross at my lower back as she tightens her legs around my waist. "Would you like another?"_

_"__Yes..yes…please." She stammers and I know she is on the brink. One more additional motion and she will topple over the edge of bliss. _

_"__How many more, Anastasia?"_

_"__One." She attempts to push me deeper by tilting her hips up. _

_I splay my hand over her flat stomach and move her back so that she is flush with the mattress. I leave my hand where it is for a moment longer than necessary. "The depth is my choice. I will decide how much and when. Tell me how many more, just one? Are you sure?"_

_"__I'm positive. I cannot take anymore."_

_"__Then one you shall have." I bring my hand back up to join the other. With them both I cradle Ana's beautiful face. "I love you." I whisper before shifting my hips just so. At a deeper angle I hit her spot and watch as she instantly comes undone. Her legs shake uncontrollably and her body shudders in my arms. Her words turn into a muffled string of erotic resonances, which tip me over the edge. The familiar sensation of my own orgasm clenches me and streaks down my spine and legs like white hot lightening. "Ana," I moan her name in pure pleasure. I will never have enough of her. She's like an elixir to my body and soul. _

_Both flushed and sated I pull my Ana to my body, her back presses against my chest. "Sleep sweet girl." I sweep her still damp chestnut veil to the side and kiss her neck. _

_"__Ted will wake soon." She mumbles ahead of a yawn. _

_"__If he does I will see to him." She yawns again and her body sags against mine. She is tired, her appetite is voracious and not just her appetite for sex. For three days she has eaten every bite of her meals. Does she suspect anything? Her breathing evens out and I know she has fallen asleep. If she does suspect pregnancy she will tell me on her own time. She may be experiencing her own fears after our loss. The thought of Ana experiencing anything less than beautiful cuts my soul in two. She's stronger than you think Grey, I remind myself. _

_I graze one hand over her swollen breasts and rest it where I know our baby is growing inside of her. Do I take her to Belize? She wants desperately to go and I want just as much to take her. Three days in Belize with Ana in our private paradise. Resolved with my decision to take her no matter what I decide to call Dr. Greene, just to be sure that it is safe for her travel. I will call her when I am pulled from Ana's side by our son. For now the monitor is quiet and I will stay here. Holding my wife and our very new baby growing inside of her. _


	24. Chapter 24

**I am so glad you all loved the last chapter from Christian's POV. My sister told me it was the best chapter I've ever written. I'm not sure about that, but I'm happy everyone loved it. For all of you who wanted more from Christian's POV I promise there will be more, just not right now. This one is back to Ana's POV. I hope you enjoy it. We are getting closer to Belize!**

**MY PHONE IS RINGING, **again. I scratch at my face, tearing my tangled mess of hair away from my mouth. Christian's side of the bed is empty and from somewhere in the house I can hear his voice. He's talking to Ted. I smile and want to go find them. First I must get out of this mess. I am knotted in the covers and must struggle to escape from them. The ringing stops only to start again. Forcing myself to the verge of wakefulness I open my eyes to find most of the afternoon gone. The rain has stopped the pink wash of dusk is painted across the sky. I fumble with my phone and knock it to the floor. "Crap," while hanging the top half of my body over the side of the bed to retrieve it. "Hello?" I answer with it at long last in my grasp.

"Ana? Did I wake you?" I sit up, taking the sheet and blanket with me to cover my nakedness. A myriad of images plays through my mind. Reminding me of the pleasure and passion my body felt before I fell asleep. "Ana, dear, are you there?"

My mom's voice snaps me back to the here and now. "Yes, yes, Mom I'm here."

"Did I wake you honey?"

"Yes, I needed to get up anyway."

"You sound exhausted."

"I guess I was tired." With the back of my hand I wipe drool off the side of my face. How attractive.

"You're not coming down with something are you? I didn't want to mention it, but you looked a little peaked when I left this morning."

"I'm not sick, Mom. I promise. I was just tired, that's all. The weekend was busy." And I might be pregnant. I smile my shy smile and touch my belly. That will be my secret for now until I know the truth.

"Hmmmm…okay, if you say so." She sounds doubtful. "I wanted to let you know I have arrived home and settled in. I would have called you earlier, but the house was less than immaculate when I arrived. That so called cleaning service Bob hired to come in once a week and keep the house in tip top shape was below par to say the least. I will not be calling upon them for their services again." Phew, she didn't go any further into her skepticisms about weather I am getting sick or not.

"I'm glad you had a safe trip." I mumble out around a yawn having only heard half of what she said. She prattles on for a while longer about her dislike for the cleaning service. I don't mind talking to my mother, it is just that sometimes her conversations, like this one, are meaningless and boring. There is no point to them. It is her complaining. "I wouldn't call them again either, I don't blame you." I say, trying to add something in so that she will know I am an active part of her largely one sided conversation. She shifts gears and begins talking about her plans for the week when I interrupt her. "Listen, Mom I hate to do this, but I need to go." I have to pee.

"Oh, is everything alright?" She stops her babbling short.

"Fine, I just need the bathroom."

"Okay, well I'll call you later this week."

"Good, I love you Mom."

"I love you too, baby girl."

I end the call, not soon enough and peel the covers back. My bare feet slap against the hardwood floor as I dash to the bathroom in double time.

**WOODEN BLOCKS SCATTER AT **my feet, flying across the nursery room floor. Ted and Christian are playing together. Or should I say being destructive together? Christian begins stacking the blocks again, building them to stand right at Teddy's height. When his tower is finished Ted demolishes by any means he do desires. Knocking it with his foot or his hand he forces the blocks to collapse. He is enjoying this game very much. Clapping his hands and laughing wildly each time he abolishes a tower. The duo, so involved in their game, has yet to notice me watching them. I bend down to gather the blocks, which have landed on the far end of the nursery near where I am standing.

"I think you're missing a few." I bring them to where my boys are and add them to the top of the already tall tower.

"Hi, Mommy." Christian gives me a panty melting grin. There is something hidden behind his grin. A flash of emotion I cannot quite grasp. It is gone as soon as I notice it and leaves me with a feeling of curiosity.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Daddy, Mommy, Mommy, Daddy, Daddy, Mommy, Mommy, Daddy." Ted chatters to himself. He tilts his head side to side in the most adorable manner. I could eat him up. Concentrating he adds two more blocks to the tower. This time making a contribution to the pillar he will soon annihilate.

"Did we wake you?"

"No," I cross my legs and sit to join them. "My phone ringing did. Mom called to tell me she had arrived at home safely."

"That's good to hear. Did she say anything else?"

"Not really, she prattled on about her dislike for the cleaning service Bob had hired to look after the house that was about it. How long has this little one been awake?" I reach out and tickle Ted's tummy.

He giggles and swats my hand away. "No, Mommy. No." He's trying to be serious. I leave him to deliberate over where he will place his next block. It does not escape my notice that the word _no_ seems to be becoming his new favorite. My baby boy is growing into a typical toddler.

Christian adds a yellow block. "A few hours, he had a snack while I worked."

"I thought you had finished up with work?"

"Mommy, you." Ted hands me a blue block and points to the tower. I oblige his request and put it on top of Christian's yellow one.

"I had, this was for your company, Mrs. Grey." I roll my eyes at him. He knows how I detest even the slightest notion of being called a CEO. It is what I am true. I don't like the entitlement that comes with it. I enjoy working like I always have and letting him and other handle the _CEO stuff_. "The quarterly report is being run and I wanted to look it over before it is filed next month."

"And how does it look, Mr. CEO?"

"Spectacular." He smiles. "You have a knack for what you do, Mrs. Grey. Every single one of the authors you have signed on to Grey's Publishing over the past three months have made the New York Times Bestseller's List. The company's earnings in print books alone are outstanding."

I shrug, not wanting to take all of the credit. "I have a good team surrounding me. I couldn't do it without them."

Abandoning the blocks Christian reaches for my hands where they rest in my lap. "You're too humble. It is you, Ana. I know you have a good team, the best, but you have the final say. You are the one signing these author's on. You are the brains behind it all and I am proud of you."

I give him my shy smile. "Thank you."

"I mean it." He returns my shy smile with his own.

"I know."

"Daddy, you." Teddy hands Christian a red block and their game resumes.

My mind wanders to nine months from now. In nine months I could be taking another maternity leave. The last thing I want is for Grey's Publishing to suffer in my absence. Since Roach's unfortunate departure I have been running more of the company than I was before. Definitely more than I did before my maternity leave with Ted. Roach kept things running when I was gone. If the company is going to continue to run smoothly in my absence I need to find another second in command, it's that simple. It has been a year since Roach left and in that year the company has exploded in terms of its size. It's unfair for me to expect Christian to take on additional work when he already has enough to do at GEH, especially now with the New York expansion.

"Earth to, Ana. Where are you?" Christian waves a hand in front of my face.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"It's been a year since Roach left. Don't you think it's time I hired a proper second in command?"

"Hannah seems to be doing fine at helping you."

I give him a look. "She's my PA Christian. I cannot keep burdening her with anything extra that comes along. I'm already asking more of her than her job description requires."

"She's paid well." He reminds me.

"I know, I don't want to run her ragged though."

Christian gives me a look which tells me he's taking into account everything I've said. That expression I noticed fleeting across his face moments ago makes a return. He smiles and shakes his head and it's gone. "We can draw up a job description if you would like. See what's out there. Who knows, there may be a decent candidate in Seattle."

"I want to do the interviewing, Christian. It's my company and I know who I will work well with and who I won't."

"There's my Mrs. CEO. I knew she was in there." He leans forward on his knees and kisses my forehead. "Fair point well made, Mrs. Grey. You may take the reins on this one."

I nod, satisfied. "Thank you."

"I know you will do a fine job of it."

"Thank you again."

"Daddy!" Teddy calls Christian's name, tired of the attention not being solely on him.

"Are you ready to knock it down?" Teddy's eyes gleam with excitement. "You may want to scoot back, Mommy. These demolitions can get rather ferocious." I move back far enough away from the tower so that I won't be hit with any projectile blocks. "Ready? One. Two. Three. Go!"

Ted rears his left foot back and kicks the base of the tower with all of his might. The blocks fall and scatter to the four winds, all the while my little boy's joyous laughter fills the room. His mommy and daddy may enjoy building companies, but it is evident that at the age of one our son is only interested in knocking things down.


	25. Chapter 25

**FLIPPING THROUGH HANGER AFTER **hanger I search through my closet for what I will wear to work tomorrow. I settle on a pair of gray slacks and a white blouse with three quarter length sleeves which cuff at my elbows. The slacks are a favorite of mine; I love how slender I feel in them. They hug my behind and tummy in a very alluring way. Happy with my outfit I hang it on the back of the closet door and go back in the closet to choose my shoes, a pair of gray leopard print Christian Louboutin pumps. I dance my fingers over the shoes. Kate coaxed me into buying them when I purchased the black boots I have stowed in my office for hot lunch break sex with Christian. Leopard print is not exactly my thing. Kate assured me of their sexiness with her most confident of sales pitches, so I caved and bought them. I take them to the closet door where my outfit is hanging and hold them up against my gray slacks. The shades of gray are the same, they match. I chew on my bottom lip in contemplation. What the hell, I'll go for it. Dare to be bold for a day. Christian will either love them or say they are something Kate or Mia would wear, not me. I search through my jewelry box and retrieve a long necklace made up of different sized silver circles. My ensemble choice for tomorrow is complete.

**CHRISTIAN PULLS THE COVERS **back and slides into bed next to me. He turns on his side and traces the contour of my nose. A content smile plays on his lips. I lay the book in my hands face down, still open. "What are you smiling about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You. Our day was perfect."

My own smile spreads across my face. Spending our day in our pajama's, decorating our Christmas tree with Ted, eating lunch in the great room, my relaxing shower, the sex, lots of sex…What more could a girl ask for? It was a perfect day. "It was." I agree with him. "Back to work tomorrow."

"For only two days, then Belize."

"Hmmm…Belize. I can hardly wait. It will be nice to escape to a warmer, sunnier climate."

"Pack your bikini's, Mrs. Grey. We are going to have our own private beach. The more skin I see of yours, the better."

He trails his fingers down my bare arm and goose pimples break out in their wake. "Consider them packed."

"You're going to work tomorrow?" He asks, changing the subject from bikinis to the real world.

"I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"No reason." There's that fleeting mysterious look again. I wish I could grasp it and know what it is all about. Christian pauses as if he wants to say something more, but he doesn't.

"I'm meeting Kate for lunch. She has a story she is covering in Seattle so she'll be in the city tomorrow."

"No lunch time connubial visits then?"

"No, I'm sorry. Your lunch hour will be much less erotic tomorrow than it has been in recent days past."

"Darn." He snaps his fingers and gives me a wicked smile. "We'll have to make up for the time that will be lost tomorrow now." Christian takes my book from where it is rest and closes it.

"I didn't have my page marked. I'll have to spend time searching for where I was." I whine in protest.

"It will be time worth the loss, Mrs. Grey." He tosses the book gently to the floor beside me and grabs me in his arms so that we are nose to nose. He kisses me deeply, running his tongue over mine. I feel my insides turning to mush. Yes, time…definitely worth the loss…or…what was I thinking? I tangle my legs with Christian's and give in to his insistent ardor.

**A RARE GLIMPSE OF **sun wakes me to greet the new day. Lying on my side I take in the vista of the sound. The clear waters are tinged pink, an indication of the bright sun in the eastern sky. The western edge touches the water as far as my eyes can see. The waters cool liquid blush chases away the last bit of darkness on the far away skyline. If I could paint this would be a portrait I would surely want to depict on canvas.

Christian tightens his arm which is draped over my waist. I sigh loving the sensation of his bare chest warming my back through the t shirt of his I slipped on before falling asleep last night. "Good morning." His voice is still groggy with sleep.

I shift to see his face. "Good morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Like a rock. I think it was all the physical exertion I experienced before falling asleep." Muscles deep inside below my waistline still ache from numerous orgasms, I love it.

"I don't recall hearing you protest at any point."

"You will never hear me protest."

"I'm glad to hear that."

The alarm clock goes off, clicking the radio on. Seattle's first morning traffic, weather and news every ten minutes, It's seven o'clock. There are two accidents east and westbound on the floating toll bridge, another accident at the intersection of Rainier and 23rd and I-5 southbound is moving at a slow pace. "How in the world can there be so many accidents when the sun is shining?"

Christian leans over and kisses my cheek. "Because we Seattleites are much more accustomed to driving in the rain rather than in the sun, the rain we can handle." He smacks my bottom lightly. "Apparently the sun throws us off."

"Maybe you, Mr. Seattleite, but not me, I love the sun and am thrilled to see it shining today."

The traffic reporter concludes his less than desirable report and before the news portion of the update begins our very own little news reporter begins giving his morning commentary over the baby monitor. "Mommy, Daddy, Mama, Dada, tum. Mommy, Daddy, Mama, Dada, tum."

Christian and I burst out laughing. "He's telling us to come get him, Daddy." I whisper.

"Mommy, Daddy, nack, takes."

"And would like his breakfast, pancakes, I'll fetch him while you shower." I kiss Christian's lips once more and climb out of bed to go retrieve my little news anchor.

**I FEEL ON TOP **of the world as I breeze through the glass door and into the main lobby of Grey Publishing. The cause is for my jubilant mood is any number of things. The fair weather for December could be one of them, my firm decision to expand my staff here at work, the way Christian looked on appreciatively when I came downstairs for breakfast in my new shoes, any of those things could account for my good mood. Or the prospect of being newly pregnant, I brush my hand over my stomach when I know Taylor and Christian have pulled away from the curb and can no longer see me.

Claire is at the receptionist desk with her head down concentrating on whatever is in front of her. "Good morning, Claire." I untie the belt on my hooded black coat and hang it on the stand near the door.

"Good morning, Ana." She looks up quickly from her work.

"You're certainly invested heavily in what you're doing." I nod in indication to the papers on her desk. She's scratching out something.

"Scheduling conflict with an intern's first tour, no worries though, I'm taking care of it. How was your trip?" Claire slides the paper aside and takes a sip of her coffee.

"Good, great. My stepfather is now the proud father of a baby boy." I think of Alexander's sweet face and how proud Ray is of him already. Christmas cannot come soon enough.

"Congratulations, I love that name, so beautiful and regal at the same time."

"Thank you, they picked it because it reminded them of Anastasia."

"So sweet." She muses pleasantly.

"Is Hannah in yet?"

"She is."

"Good, I've got some things she and I need to accomplish before I leave for Belize Thursday." I gather my things up in my arms.

"Belize? I am so jealous." Claire swoons before going back to her work.

Hannah sits down in one of the two chairs in front of my desk with her tablet in hand. Her hair pulled back in a tight bun, she crosses her ankles and squares her shoulders. She's all business. Ready to tackle the tasks I toss her way. We go through her notations on my calendar, newly added appointments and such. With the year drawing to a close our two interns are exiting to resume their final classes at SU. Human Resources will be handling their exit paperwork. There are a few things I must fill out as well. I note it in my calendar along with their last work dates. Other than tying up those few loose ends and looking over the quarterly reports myself, the remaining part of December promises to be quiet.

"Is that everything?" I ask jotting down a reminder in my planner. Christian swears I can do all of this on my tablet and for the most part I do. Still a niggling voice in my brain tells me that electronic things can be lost much easier than anything I write down on paper. I like my planner and choose to use it as my back up tool in case of electronic gadget failure.

"Yes, Mrs. Grey it is, unless you have anything for me?"

I sit back in my chair. "Actually I do, Hannah. I would like to begin the process of creating a job opening."

She's busy tapping away on her tablet. "Okay, what position?"

"Second in command to me, someone to replace Roach." She looks up from what she is doing with a puzzled look on her face. "I know it seems a bit odd, it has been a year since Roach's departure. It is something I feel strongly about." I add to clarify my sincerity. "I would like for you to research the job description for the position Roach held. I am sure it will require some tweaking as things have changed since he was first hired in under SIP." An involuntary shudder creeps down my spine. It feels like eons have passed since I used the ex-name of Grey Publishing. The three simple letters its acronym was comprised of leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

"I can do that, Mrs. Grey."

"Good. When you have it will you send it to me? We will sit down next week to go over the changes to be made to it. I would like to have the position pasted as open before the New Year."

"Certainly." She nods.

"That is all then. Thank you, Hannah."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Grey. Is there anything else I can get you?" She stands and brushes down her black pencil skirt.

"Nothing right now."

Hannah leaves and I put my head down to get to work. Three hours until my lunch date with Kate. My stomach flip flops with nerves. I plan to walk to the nearby drugstore before lunch, and then I will know.

**MY PHONE RINGS AND **I pick it up to answer it while glancing at the clock in the lower right hand corner of my computer screen. Can it really be after noon already? "Hello?"

Claire speaks on the other end. "Mrs. Grey, I have your sister-in-law Mrs. Kate Grey here to see you."

Kate! "Tell her to come back to my office, Claire." I'm nearly finished with editing the final chapter in this manuscript, just one more page to read.

I hit save on the document just as Kate walks through my office door. She's glowing and looks radiant in black maternity skinny jeans. Her black boots come up to her knees and an adorable black and white striped sweater clings to her growing bump. She's stylish and perfect even when she's pregnant.

"Ana!" I stand and let her fold me into a hug, as much of a hug as she can with little Ava pushing out between us.

"Look at how much she's grown." I rub my best friend's belly where my baby niece is growing.

"Ugh, don't remind me. I swear I'll start waddling like a duck any day now." I raise my eyebrows at her and laugh. "What? I already do waddle like a duck don't I? Damn Elliot, he lied to me. I asked him yesterday if I was waddling like a duck and he fed me some crap about being a graceful swan. I should have known he was full of shit."

"He was probably trying to dodge a bullet, Kate."

"What bullet? I haven't been moody." I give her my _I know you better than that_ look and she caves. "Okay, well maybe I have a little. It's just because I've got all of this extra estrogen flowing through my body. I swear, you were so lucky to have been pregnant with a boy. I think back to how you felt and how I feel now. Girls are tough work."

I laugh and pat her stomach. "You love her and you wouldn't trade her for the world."

"You're right, I wouldn't." She covers my hand with hers. "I've missed you, Grey."

"Right back at you, Grey." I pick up my purse from under my desk.

"So, where are we going to lunch? Ava and I are starving. I was thinking Chinese."

"Chinese is fine with me. I want to stop at the drug store on the corner at some point." Kate is already three steps ahead of me, leaving my office. It takes her a nanosecond to process what I've just said. She turns slowly. "And why do you need to stop at the drugstore?" I shrug my shoulders, giving a sad attempt at being nonchalant. It doesn't work; I break out in a beaming grin. "Anastasia Grey, just what aren't you telling me?" She has her hands on her hips now. I'm about to be grilled by the Grey inquisition if I don't start talking fast.

"I need a pregnancy test." I answer quietly, still smiling.

"Oh my God!" She nearly screams and I shush her. "Oh, sorry." She holds a finger over her mouth. "Does Christian know?"

"He doesn't have a clue. I don't know for sure yet, I just suspect."

"Well, you don't have to twist my arm. You are going to pee on that stick before lunch that way we have something extra to talk about over lunch."

"Kate, I just want to buy one. I'll take it at home."

"The hell you will. You Anastasia Grey are taking that test in the drugstore bathroom if I have to stand outside of the stall and hold you hostage until you do." She's not budging. Kate is determined. I don't stand a chance.

"Fine." I mutter and sling my purse over my shoulder. This is going to be humiliating. Please, please, please, let the drugstore bathroom be empty.

**KATE STANDS IN LINE **with a red plastic basket hooked on her arm. She has thrown three different brands of pregnancy tests in the basket and is currently reading through a trash magazine while waiting to check out. I'm standing behind her trying to remember why I thought this was a good idea. I shouldn't have told her. I should have just grabbed a test on the way back to work and taken it home in my purse. I could have locked myself in one of our many bathrooms and taken it. Now I am faced with the spectacle of peeing on all of those sticks in the drugstore bathroom. I don't think I drank enough water or tea today to take them all. I'll take some of them home.

I take a bottle of water out of the cooler near the cash register and a pack of gum from the basket sitting on the counter. I put them both in the red basket. "What are you doing?" Kate hisses.

"Trying to look inconspicuous." I hiss back. My nerves are getting the best of me. The clerk scans all of our items and Kate swipes her card to pay. "I was going to do that."

"Chill, I've got it. Besides, you are in deep space nine over there. Freaking out in freakville. You missed your chance to pay."

The woman behind the counter hands Kate our bag and tells us both to have a good afternoon. I smile and return her kind words back to her. Kate grabs my hand and nearly drags me to the back of the store. She opens the bathroom door and reaches in the bag pulling out a pink box. "Okay, this one first, if you can't get to all of them this is the best one." She has the box open and hands me the stick.

I look down at the seemingly harmless white plastic stick in my hand. It looks innocuous enough, but what it will tell me is not a mild matter. I stand dumbfounded until Kate shoos me into one of the two stalls. Thank goodness the bathroom is empty. I hang my purse on the back of the stall door along with my coat. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."

"That's a good sign." Kate's voice echoes in the empty room.

"Not that kind of sick, what if it's negative. I don't think I can look at a negative test again." Kate is one of the only people other than Christian who I have shared my pain with.

I see her feet standing in front of the stall. "I'm here with you, Ana." She says and her words are comforting. I finish my business and just sit. I sit on the toilet with the test in my hands and stare at it. I know a few minutes are supposed to pass before I can read the test, but as the color begins sweeping over the rectangular window two very distinct pink lines appear. I gasp and tears rush to my eyes. "Ana? Ana, are you okay?"

Kate is talking on the other side of the stall and I'm nodding my head yes. Then I realize she can't see me. "Yes, Yes, I'm fine Kate." I put the cap on the end of the test and place it on the top of the toilet paper holder while situating my clothes. When I open the door I see tears in my best friend's eyes too. "Two lines, Kate."

"Ana!" She squeals and throws her arms around me. We hug and cry and laugh and hugs some more. Kate shoves the bag with the other tests in my purse. "You take these home. Take one to show Christian." She wipes her eyes. "Congratulations, Mommy. You're going to have another baby."

I take a picture of the positive test with my phone before placing it back in the empty box and discarding it in the trash can. "Another baby." I brush my hand over my flat stomach, this time knowing for certain that there is a baby growing inside of me.

"Come on, Mommy. Let's go to lunch." Kate links her arm in mine and I walk out of the bathroom and drugstore feeling like I am on top of the world.


	26. Chapter 26

***I have to ask, are you all excited to finally see the trailer tomorrow? I know I am! The teasers they have released have had me thrilled! And hearing Christian's voice finally on the radio commercial about threw me into fits. I cannot wait! Okay, on with the new chapter.***

**SWIRL LEFT, SWIRL RIGHT, **drawing a pattern of circles in my vegetable fried rice I avoid eating my lunch. Even though I was hungry when I left the office my nerves are now getting the better of me.

Kate slurps up another bite of her chicken lo mein and points her own chopsticks at my still full plate. "You need to eat."

I tilt my head to one side and roll my eyes at her. "You sound like Christian."

"Good, then listen to us both." I set my chopsticks down at take my napkin from my lap. I begin folding it into a series of triangles. "You're eating for two again." She reminds me of the obvious. I can still see the positive test as clear as day. I was so happy. Worry is taking over quickly. No matter how much I try to stave it off with only positive thoughts it is rolling in like a thick fog. What if this is too good to be true? Oh no, tears sting my eyes. I close them and bow my head. Are my hormones already in an uproar? I feel Kate's hand find mine. She halts my napkin folding frenzy. "Stop it." I blink back tears and look up at her. "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. My mom had a miscarriage between my brother and I, just one. It happens, it happened, but that does not mean it will happen again. You are fine, Ana. The baby is fine. He is snuggling in for nine long months."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know everything, Grey." She answers with her signature Kate smirk, Kate the know it all. Sometimes she makes me crazy and other times, like now, I am glad to have her self-assuredness. It is comforting. "When are you going to tell, Christian?" She resumes eating her lo mein and changes the subject subtly to a much happier topic.

"I don't know. I think when we get to Belize."

"You are going to wait another whole day before telling him?"

"I'm afraid he won't let me out of the U.S. much less on a plane if he knows."

She taps one of her chopsticks against her mouth. "You're probably right."

"I know I'm right."

"He's going to be a complete and utter control freak, Ana."

I smile wistfully. I wouldn't have him any other way. Sure he can drive me nuts sometimes, but I never have to wonder if he cares or not. I know he does. He loves me and worries about me constantly. Having someone cherish you as much as Christian cherishes me is not a bad thing.

"You still need to eat your lunch." Filling my chopsticks with rice I take a bite. It is salty and delicious. There is nothing better than cheap Chinese. It was often our choice of take out when Kate and I were in college. Our trash TV marathons in front of a coffee table littered with white take out boxes are some of my fondest memories of our college years.

**BACK FROM LUNCH WITH **Kate I call Dr. Greene's office. The receptionist schedules my first appointment for a week from Wednesday. I am relieved to being going to see the doctor before the Christmas holidays. I suspect she isn't waiting too long because of what happened before. One thing puzzles me as I hang up with the doctor's office, they did not seem surprised at all to be hearing from me. Was it because Dr. Greene was aware of the fact that we had been trying to get pregnant after my miscarriage? I ponder the mystery for a while before dropping it. I choose not to think about anything to do with the miscarriage and jot down my appointment on my calendar before diving back into work for the remainder of the afternoon.

A steady stream of tasks flow in, keeping me preoccupied and draws my mind far away from the tiny pleasant surprise growing inside of me. Hannah has found the job description for me and we spend the last few hours of the day revising the duties and qualifications for the position. I have yet to decide on an actual job title. I watch Hannah sitting in the chair beside mine at the four person table in the corner of my office. She's working so diligently, Hannah always does. I wonder if I should suggest that she apply for the new position. Would she even be interested? I make a mental not to speak with Christian about it. Of course hiring her in as second in command would mean hiring a new PA, but PA's are a dime a dozen. Maybe not PA's as good as Hannah. Still, I think I could find another good one. It's a risk I would be willing to take if Hannah would consider this new position. She would be perfect for it.

With the last change for the day made I stretch my arms over my head and Hannah slouches back in her chair. "Finished." I yawn and cover my mouth with my hand.

Hannah looks at her watch. "Is it really five o'clock already?"

I look up to the clock on the wall. "The afternoon flew by."

"It always does when you're busy." She agrees and closes the file folder in front of us.

My desk phone rings and I stand to go answer it while Hannah gathers up the pens we were using and puts them in the cup in the center of the table. "Anastasia Grey, Grey Publishing." I answer.

"Mmmmm…I love the sound of your voice."

"Hi, Christian." Hannah catches my eye and smiles.

"Good evening my beautiful wife. I've missed you." He has a sexy lilt to his voice.

I do my best to keep my tone of voice neutral and professional. "I've missed you too."

"I missed you at lunch time especially." I can just see him there in his office. His feet propped on his desk while he lounges back in his chair. The late evening sun streaming through the windows highlights his curls. His curls, I would love to straddle him in that chair and tug his delectable curls while fucking him with the Seattle skyline as my view. "Ana," Christian calls out to me over the phone. "Ana, are you still there?"

"What? Oh, yes. I'm here." Damn is it hot in here? I fan myself with a loose piece of paper from my desk, hoping Hannah does not see my blush. My thoughts went from innocent to naughty in point five seconds flat. I blame Christian and his sexy voice.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mrs. Grey?"

I blush deeper; he knows what he's doing to me. Even over the phone he is fully aware of the effect he has on me and he's enjoying my reaction to him. "No thank you. I don't need a penny that badly, Mr. Grey."

Christian chuckles. "Taylor and I will be there to collect you in fifteen minutes."

"I'll be ready." I smile relaxed now that we are off of the hot button topic of sex.

"See you soon, laters baby."

"Laters." I place the phone back in its cradle.

Hannah's expression as she stands holding her tablet and file folders in her arms tells me she gets the gist of what Christian and I were just talking about. "I hope when I find the right man that we are just as in love as you and Mr. Grey are." She nearly swoons. Hannah is a sweet, attractive and intelligent girl. Not knowing how to answer I just smile back at her. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just dream of finding a love like that."

"You will, when you least expect it."

"You think?"

I pick up my briefcase and purse, shutting the lights out as we leave. "That's how it works I think. Or at least it was that way with Christian and I. We just found each other one day. I guess describing it as fate would sound silly."

"That's what it is though, isn't it? When you find your soul mate," she clarifies.

I think for a minute. "It is, in our case it was fate and the common cold. Kate was scheduled to meet Mr. Grey for an interview for our college newspaper. She was sick and couldn't go so I went in her stead. The rest is history."

Hannah shakes her head. "I always wondered how you two met. Now I know. I need my best friend to get sick, and then maybe I will meet the man of my dreams."

We both share a laugh and then bid each other good evening. When I step into the lobby the black Audi SUV is already waiting at the curb for me. Claire calls out goodnight from behind her desk where she is packing up to go home. I wave and step outside, clutching my jacket in front of me. There's no point in putting it on when I am about to climb inside the warm SUV. I shudder against the chilled wind and Taylor opens my door for me and takes my bags.

"Thank you, Taylor."

"You're welcome, ma'am."

I slide in and there he is waiting for me with his devastatingly handsome smile and good looks. "Good day, Mrs. Grey?"

"An even better day now that I am here with you." I slide closer to him and kiss him. His eyes sweep over my body and even though he has yet to touch anything except for my lips I feel as if he has just touched me everywhere with his gray gaze.

"Let's go home."

I scoot back over to my seat and buckle my seat belt. Taylor pulls the SUV out into traffic and my butterflies from earlier at lunch time make their return. I am pregnant sitting in the backseat of our SUV with Christian. Belize cannot come soon enough. I am dying to tell him.


End file.
